17th September 2016 - Prestwich Heys 1 v 2 Alsager Town - A morn spent stretching knackered ankles, visiting an horticultural center to meet a lovely lady and do a spot of insect watching and then to me ma's to drop off her birthday flowers. Tis all go and with a 4 band gig straight after the footy I was contemplating more time spent in the sin bin of 'Shaggedoutsville' - what a shithole it is too! My grand wife and myself arrived at the sun-soaked ground in good time, purchased a drink each and headed to the far side of the pitch and absorbed the solar delights, chitted and chatted and watched the two teams loosen up. We had a Topic Bar each too - bonus. Oh and then...
Came the footy - a match I was struggling to predict the result of as both teams were on half decent form and looked set to be involved in one of those soccerised chess matches - ooh those bashed bishops and flitting queens!
The 1st half and a wary prodding and poking episode ensued (now, now ya dirty minded devils) with the opening main chance going to the Heys as a carving pass was latched onto and duly lobbed over the keeper and, alas, the crossbar! A few early fouls were committed and the tight game stayed as such with the home team having more threat and seeming odds to break the deadlock. Alsager though are firm in defence and kept their shape well and with good discipline and industrialism forced a few free kicks and half chances, one incident which resulted in the linesman being branded as 'Brain Dead' - ooh and he looked so rotund and healthy. The chess match continued and looked set to turn stale until Alsager tossed about at the rear and let a soft header be nudged home and thus alter the whole dynamics of the game. Alsager surged back and won a free kick which was wasted and pounced upon. A breakaway swiftly came, the home teams No 10 raced away, the score line ached to be increased but full marks to the oppositions net man for racing off his line and getting proceedings blocked. Within minutes the same attacker had another chance but the eyes went wide, the head filled with steaming excitement and the ball was flashed over into the Heavens above - would that be a moment to regret? The game continued and after a confession from the Prestwich number 3 regarding his minuscule nob the game became tetchy and the rubicund and heavily perspiring referee became the brunt of both managers wound up temperaments. No doubt the man in blacks' fan club would be diminishing after this one and all down to one or two eccentric decisions. It ain't easy though and I wouldn't trade places with him for any amount of brass.
Peep, peep - half over - time to a piddle, a hot dog and some tea. Choice!
Part two and the same vein was struck and Prestwich Heys looked to be moving in for the kill with a few good attacks blunted by a weak finish and an offside decision. The liner was at the end of the abuse again much to the referee's relief I expect. Heys held the upper hand but lacked serious frontline quality and that oh so crucial killer pass. Alsager were showing little but, like a mouthful of sun dried lettuce, remained hard to break down. I didn't hold much hope for another goal but The Bullets started to squeeze back in and after a run down the wing resulted in the ball being crossed, dummied and slapped over the warning signs were there for the Heys lads not to switch off. I still would have had my money on a home victory so when Alsager pulled level I was as shocked as anyone. Wasted possession and chances were the cause of the turnaround and when the same method was used for the away side to go 2-1 up it was all to the detriment of the now, floundering home squad. Frustration took hold, the manager hung his head at the lack of options and general desire and when the full time shrill came one couldn't help feeling that Alsager were given a gift here even though they worked hard and hung in like desperate dogs. For me Man of the Match was the Alsager No 3 (Kyle Stubbs), an accomplished performance at the player's own pace - never easy but done well today.
FINAL THOUGHT - Prestwich Heys need to learn from the Transylvanian Terror, namely Count Dracula who, whenever he gets the chance, goes for the jugular and drains the life out of his vulnerable victims. Alsager however just need to remember Im-Ho-Tep, the Egyptian Mummy whom moves at a steady pace and always keeps things well wrapped up. It should keep them in good stead for the long season ahead!
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