Tuesday 25 September 2018

TO ESCAPE THE CRITICAL LIST

24th September 2018 - Stockport Town 3 v 0 Maine Road - Between the two teams on show tonight there has been mustered up a paltry 12 points from a total of 15 games (45 possible points).  This, as the headmaster of the footballing school would say, 'is not good enough', and a scribble of a red inked 'must try harder' is surely found on the early season report.  Like the bowels of a rhino after a sausage pie bender things are far from animated and active in both camps and I personally thought that if any match had potential laxative properties to get things moving proper then this was it.  But would the U-bend of success be cruised down, would the first flush of triumph kick start matters proper or would we end up with further clogged drains of decision and no progress made - only those brave enough to 'scratch, sniff and find out' from the lower depths of the First Division South will learn the truth - I was one such soul! Another was STP Stu whom I met and enjoyed the game with.  The day had been spent trying to make headway through a heap of fungal specimens and preparing for a week of work and wildlife recording - plus trying to get over this darn nagging virus - the football was a welcome respite!  Surely both teams were going for a win tonight, I was on the edge of my seat for the start and it had nothing to do with an attack of the old Farmer Giles.

The early harassment came via the visiting pack, The Town however absorbed like a reliable soccerised sponge, responded in a quick reflex action with one pass dissecting the rear guts of their opponents allowing No 9 (Symon Czubik) to flash in like a streaker on whizz, wallop home and grab a highly crucial lead.  The Road, shell-shocked and shitted up looked to strike immediately back but a crack at goal was nothing less than a stinker.  Soon after a long ball found the feet of No 9 ( Michael Burke) who launched and forced a touch save from the stand in No 1 (Kiarno Samms).  The corner that came saw No 11 (Jamie Hill) rise and put in a firm header that, like the dog of John Noakes, just wouldn't stay down.  A period of probing came, both units were seeking a critical killer pass, Road were the ones to have the next decent dig when No 8 (Jamie Roe) played the ball to No 10 (Ben Davison) who spun, fired and forced the keeper to gather low.  No 7 (Jesurun Uchegbulam) came at the other end of the pitch and showcased a pair of quick feet that found space to fire in a shot that lacked any real chomp.  The Town were soon marauding forth again with a glorious move that saw Czubik take one touch too many and be denied by a prostrate keeper.  A corner was had, the ball came, No 5 (Kieren O' Connell) put in an audacious bicycle kick - it was on target but dealt with.  The home team were on top now, Czubik fired and forced a decent one handed save from the man between the sticks, Road tried to cultivate hope but were constantly on the back foot, it was looking like a long night for the short-distance travellers.

The next action came after a Town free-kick saw the guests break.  Davison was in the clear, only the mitter was left to beat and therein a problem was found.  The last man standing was quick and there to block with the old shanks, this I feel was a crucial moment.  Soon after a host free-kick went into the box where a melee of carcasses indulged in minor mayhem.  From the transient havoc a shank was swung and the ball was lashed against the upright - who the Hell the striker was is anyone's guess, it may have been No 11 (Adam Etches).  Straight down the other end we went, 2 shots, no spite so no breakthrough - cor blimey my pen was ablaze. Onwards, a Maine Road free-kick, the mitter got nobbled and soon after No 11 (Jamie Hill) was away and picking his spot.  Foot hit sphere, the outcome was from the tucked away vaults of 'wankism'.  Town pressured next, over-elaborated matters and Road had a free-kick followed by a volley that went just over.  The countdown to the break was on, the home lads had one final dig but the mittman did enough and at half-time there was only one goal in it.

A cuppa, a roam to the far side of the ground after a chat with a fine couple who are pootling around a few grounds.  Positions taken, this is the second half low down.

The start was scrappy and disjointed, no team had space or time on their side (unlike Dr Who don't ya know) and battled like Orgons with hormone problems.  No 4 (Festus Arthur) had an in-box shot blocked but other than that there was sweet FA to get enthralled about.  This was a hive of industry producing little honey but all the while Stockport were providing the greater buzz.  A few bonus boots, no quality at the end, and out of the mix the MR No 5 (Rhys Jones) proved to be the vital epicentre of salvation that kept the team in blue still within touching distance.  The gruelling grind continued, Czubik was a constant menace but couldn't find his range, soon after however a whipping cross was had by the feet of Uchegbulam and Czubik put bonse on ball.  It didn't find the net but was an aperitif for a surging run by the same player who was eventually bumbled to the floor in the box and awarded a penalty.  Jones for The Blues was sent off, it seemed a trifle tough, but it didn't stop The Lions' Etches from stepping up and neatly slapping the ball home.  2 - 0 - that seemed to be about it

The timepiece ticked along, the hosts had the greater chances and looked keen to inflict further damage on a reeling victim.  No 15 (Sam Leadbetter) had a chance but went off target and No 6 (Thomas Whitty) indulged in some outlandish improvisation, produced an overhead that forced a quite lovely save from the No 1 (James Downhill).  From the corner a slight mix up was overcome but a midfield blunder allowed Stockport to come straight back with Czubik staying calm and controlled and slotting home the final nail in the pale blue coffin.  The MR lads still stuck at the hopeless cause and a decent set piece should have brought consolation but was headed over.  Town burst back, a stunning ball in saw several players hold the potential to grab the 4th, when the shot did come the block on the line was world class and deserved of the night time applause.  2 late strikes for the losing team saw the keeper's legs deny once again and the final effort fly over after the ever busy No 8 (Jamie Roe) tried his luck.  The whistle put an end to the agony, the home team were cock-a-hoop with 3 points and I reckon Man of the Match should go to their stand-in No 1 (Kiarno Samms) for obvious reasons.  He was there when it mattered read the game well and was one of the pivotal reasons why the 3 points went the way they did.

FINAL THOUGHT - There is still a whole lot of work to do for both teams over the coming weeks and although Stockport Town took the main prize tonight I was far from convinced.  They have some good runners and move the ball quickly but the test during this game was far from austere and allowed the pack to play at their own pace somewhat.  There will be sterner battles to face, 3 points is better than a kick up the arse but the training ground is where further points will be gained and where confidence can be truly cultivated.  Maine Road are a team in disarray and exhibit a frightening lack of options when going forward.  It seems to be a real quandary as to where the exact problem lies and the manager really has a tough job on his ever eager hands.  The key for me is to keep a consistent squad and get them gelled and keyed up for each and every battle with an inner belief that they can indeed turn this bad run of form around.  There is hope, many a player has potential but only the brave or foolhardy would place any serious bet.  I shall be watching both teams closely and viewing several more times this campaign - here's to some fine outcomes.

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