STONED TO...

20th April 2019 - Maine Road 4 v 0 Stone Dominoes - There are just too many good teams to visit in the North West Counties League and I can't keep up and be everywhere.   To add to my frustration, each and every season I like to throw in a few new grounds and catch up with some teams out of these local competitions.  With work, family, wildlife passion and eternal noise duties I am akin to the regularly masturbated todger of Stretch Armstrong - pulled all ways.  My apologies go to all those neglected, I am striving for balance and will try and do my bit but man, until someone proves that cloning really does work I shall continue to run around like an egg-bound chicken without a noggin.  Today I opted for Maine Road as the morn was spent cycling and chasing bugs, the dinner hour spent reading Somerset Maugham and soaking up a few rays and the evening planned out by the young un' who wants to watch another Marvel Film - Black Panther this time.  We watched Venom last night, it was OK but I am a long term Marvel fan, I was immersed in the joys of Spiderman and the Sinister Six, The Fantastic Four and such like when I was a nipper before progressing on to reading novels and then getting side-tracked via wrestling the one eyed champ, blowing my aural passages out with punk rock and indulging in some head-melting solvent abuse (Evo-Stik and Zoff only - I did have standards).  Today's match looked like it could be a one sided affair - a bit like Hulk on steroids meeting Ant-Man with a cold.  I hoped not, I like balance - give me equilibrium as found in the giant testicles of Galactus or a wrestling match between Captain America and Iron Man - here's hoping. Prior to the match I nattered with STP Stu and was cajoled into buying two bags of cake by the manipulator serving tea - I shall not complain.  

The first action was a free-kick to the travellers, it was delivered well but put behind for a corner.  The angled hoof came and No 4 (Michael Davies) rose and put a wealth of crust on the ball, it was on target but the keeper was up with the lark and gathered without too much fuss.  Eventually The Road started to play the field and roll the ball around the deck.  A rapier move down the flank saw a cross hit first time by the overly enthused No 7 (Kyle Hendley) who failed to hit the target.  The hosts continued to pass and play with high impetus, one stunning move left the Stone defence standing but the end shot was saved and offered temporary reprieve.  Maine Road maintained the pressure, a pass was threaded and No 6 (Neil Chappell) jumped at the chance to grab the opening goal and firmly slotted a low hard shot into the net - 1 - 0 - was this the start of things to come?  Alas no, from here chances came and went with Chappell having a long range boomer off-line and then Hendley having two pops, one blocked, the other whacked into the shimmering sky with impetuous haste.  A water break came.

The game restarted, No 3 (Adam Harper) for the Dominoes bust a gut and worked himself room to shoot - the execution was shabby.  The Blues now began to dominate matters and forced their opponents to take on the role of hungry shithawks and feed on scraps.  Blue-tinted corners were plentiful, the quality kiss of any true assassin lacking.  No 8 (Jamie Roe) kept his sides energy high, he dinked around, fed a ball that was touched on to the ever-willing Chappell who once more belted over the crossbar.  The push for the second strike continued, No 11 (Joseph O' Brien) worked in, let loose a delicious curler from range that needed a tip over.  The corner came, the keeper rose and fumbled, No 4 (David Brown) collected for the predatory pack, kept his cool and slotted home to double the lead.  Before the break the boys in blue advanced, a cracking cross was deflected behind with the visiting No 5 (Emmanuel Uwimana) lucky not to have turned it into his own net.  Soon after Chappell laid one on a plate in the box for Roe to bury.  The alert player side-footed, the ball was somehow blocked - time for a brew methinks.

A cuppa and a bit of cake went down well, the warm weather was mighty grand - tis no bad way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

The second period began with the home lads in command.  O' Brien received the ball after a neat flick from No 9 (Daniel Burgess) with the resultant cross put in early and causing the keeper to fumble.  A corner was the outcome, no success was borne but the stranglehold remained.  Two shots quickly ensued, Burgess had his blocked, Hendley swung and put the globe wide - the key here was surely time and patience.  The Dominoes offered little in return, a wasted corner and nothing more.  Maine Road gained possession and control yet again, they were given the luxury of having time to pass and probe around the box before the ball went out wide, Hendley stroked one in and No 15 (Thomas Keyworth) nutted home at the far post with relative ease - it was just far too easy.  Stone eventually had some joy and had a terse period of good interplay that ignited ambition - it was a shame to see an offside rule dampen the squib.  

The MR machine once more soon got on top, No 3 (Ashley Morley) sprinted, linked up with O'Brien who found himself with options.  From my personal viewpoint the chance to shoot was obvious, a cross came instead, the final touch lacked conviction and we remained as we were.  As the current tally of home goals ached to be built upon another break for a slurp was had.  When all players were refreshed the Blue flow continued where it had left off but too many finishing adornments and not enough direct work banished any chance of bringing up the fourth.  The visitors had a rare break with No 10 (Luke Smith) sent through.  The choices were many, the shot was the worst possible decision as men were free - the fact that the ball wasn't even on target added poison to the pissed on promise.  The result of this scare was a bog basic move with a long ball letting Keyworth nip it at the apex, round the keeper, negotiate a defender on the line and slap in the icing on the cake.  The last action came via Stone's No 6 (Kinglsey Cudjoe) who still buzzed about, wormed inward and released a good dig that just wouldn't stay on target.  Soon after we were done, it had been a somewhat regular contest with the result in no serious doubt from the off.  Maine Road's No 8 (Jamie Roe) gets the Man of the Match vote for impeccable ground coverage, a consistency of accurate passes second to none and showing a desire from first to last that has surely been a big component in his team's turnaround.  Well played chap.

FINAL THOUGHT - So we came expecting goals, we got 4 and for me, I reckon both teams wouldn't be happy with that.   Stone Dominoes are in disarray and are just seeing a long hard season out and looking for small rays of hope to build around for next year.  Today I thought the basics were lacking - players not running into space and giving options when in possession, not working back when losing the ball and not staying composed when looking to build.  In the midst of this though there was some good effort and several players looked to have some good desire and general awareness.  It has been a tough campaign for the crew and in all fairness they just need to get outta there and consider.  For the last game it would be good to see them play with a full width and just go gung ho and see what happens - why not indeed.  Maine Road bagged a few goals today but I am sure they had designs on more.  They really do need to sharpen the apex of matters and make sure the basics are nailed before souping matters up.   At the back they are reliable, in midfield they have some good thinkers and up front they have options - to make the most of the opportunities created though composure is the key as well as consistent awareness.  Next year they should more than hold their own if they work on the killer instinct - it is always a pleasure to visit Brantingham Road though and once again, this year they have granted me much entertainment - cheers to all involved and the best of luck.