Friday 26 November 2021

THE VOYAGE OF THE VASE

20th November 2021 - AFC Liverpool 2 v 0 Redcar Town - The 2nd round of the FA Vase and so far we have watched the home team win two games to progress to this stage.  I was hoping further advancements could be made with another home tie awaiting our attention, but as ever, I remain neutral and hope the best team wins in a fair and good footballing manner.  The morn was spent leading the last fungus walk of the season, 60 species, a good turn-out and 7 Nettle Books sold - oh aye.  The trip down to the Marine ground was easy and after arriving we had time to purchase a few pasties and cakes from a local bakers who really knew how to sell their wares (so much for the Jane Fonda diet).  Throwing my slimming leotard in the nearest bin I filled the belly, entered the ground with my good lady and met up with our friend STP Stu.  Brews were had, the usual viewing points taken and the jaws wagged in time-honoured fashion.

A watertight start was had by both teams with the first noteworthy moment coming when the guests won a free-kick which No 4 (Nic Weathered) delivered with splendid pace and curve.  As the ball entered the panic zone No 6 (Joe Bennett) dashed in and sent a header... wide - in truth, the first goal of the game should have been bagged. The guests continued to work up a good lather and press with unbound passion. The home lads did win a free-kick after No 11 (Kyle Schorah) was clattered but the creativity value was a maximum of bugger all and so Redcar continued where they left off.  A break came, a solid ball found the cranium of Bennett once more, this time contact was minimal and the ball flew way off target.  A corner for the Reds was the response, No 5 (Luke Stephens) put bonce on ball but the effort was weak and without direction.

From here the hosts warmed to the task at hand, a surge came with a blazing wing run culminating in a delivery No 10 (Callum Schorah) gently pushed on, only to watch the ball just miss the inside of the post.  This should have been a moment when the game moved up a notch but fluidity was lost for a goodly while and the referee was called upon to rattle his pea a little too often (the dirty blighter).  During this unappealing period though Redcar did hold some good possession and only lacked a killer touch in the final third.  Eventually, from the growing murk, the AFCL pack came with K. Schorah at the apex and drilling forth a wonderfully struck shot that the Redcar No 1 (Michael Algie) did well to block with one raised hand.  

The time ticked, the home lads advanced, a choice delivery to C. Schorah saw the ball get stuck in the striker's feet and the chance to bury disappearing quicker than George Michael's todge during a public toilet police raid (and that's quick).  K. Schorah had a punt at goal soon after but the projected effort went straight into the keeper's waiting mitts.  Things looked to be going the home teams way and when No 8 (James Howell) had a shot deflected upwards and No 7 (Jesse Dowling) looked certain to open the scoring it was with a 'WTF' gasp that I watched the ball get walloped over the horizontal.

A bit of spiciness entered the game before half-time, a few half-chances bore no fruit and that was that.  We refused to move into the grot for the break and just stood around and nattered.  A bit of scran fell down the grub tunnels and the growing chill was partly fended off - we needed a goal in this one and all were agreed it looked like the home team were going to get it.

The second period began with both teams playing like cagey poker players and giving nothing away.  A Redcar free-kick promised to give rise to the first real action but the delivery was truly awful.  As the two midfield packs battled, the red clad K. Schorah sprang from the melee and sent forth a low cross.  Dowling appeared and gathered, took control, touched and buried - and about time too.

This opening goal was maybe against the grain but AFC Liverpool are a stubborn side and soak up pressure with practiced patience.  The pack with their todgers in front came again soon after with Dowling the apical component and sending a shot that was a hairs breadth wide of the mark.  Once again the home lads came, Dowling was in, Howell was waiting for the ball but when the cross came the keeper was there with a reliable fisting (just like the ones given by Rectal Roger down Lovelob Lane at the back of the local greengrocers - so I hear).

Still the Reds advanced, a dink pass ensued and up stepped Dowling again, this time to rattle home and double his sides lead - a choice moment that had been coming. The weather was now abhorrent, with the skies bleak and the floodlights illuminating the wintry feel.  AFC Liverpool were still rampant, a well whipped corner saw Redcar panic and somehow survive and strive to build something of quality.  Alas the final ball was missing, much to the chagrin of their No 2 (Connor Prest) who hogged the line in free space and got very little in the way of service.  The guests stuttered to the final whistle and, in truth, gave their opponents too much of an easy ride and looked a trifle miffed with themselves come the end.  Man of the Match was pondered, No 6 (Lee McConchie) I thought put in a stint that kept things secure at the back and threatening in midfield.  The performance was controlled and steady and done in an unassuming style - I like that.

Thankfully the rain eased off as we walked back to the car wondering if the next round would produce another home tie - if so, we may just well be in attendance.

FINAL THOUGHT - A clash of two teams was witnessed today in testing conditions with the hosts squeaking through primarily due to a hard work input.  Redcar Town came and should have offered more, it was a frustrating display with space not fully maximised, control of the ball not at its best and options when moving forth either lacking or not truly grasped.  It is a long way to travel and not play to the best of your ability but these things happen and football is just a right old awkward git at times.  AFC Liverpool put in a hard fought stint without doing anything spectacular - winning ugly is an artform, just ask Fuck Face O Flynn after he recently won the Yorkshire Tiddlywanks Championship - it ain't easy being a fiendish looking blighter trying to throw one off the wrist in public whilst pissed as a fart.  What the home team did tonight was not get on each other's cases, play with a head down focus and stick to their strengths - it may get them further than they think. Before finalising this belated report I found out that the winners are at home again in the next round, this time to Pilkington FC - a note has been made in the diary - I just hope it doesn't clash with the next Tiddlywanks Championship - I have a £50 bet on Tug 'O' Tool and would love to witness him lift the sought after Foreskin Trophy - my knackers are crossed.

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