2022/2023 SEASON ROUND UP

 Matches attended

77

Goals witnessed

291

Average goals per game

3.77

Highest scoring game

Wythenshawe Amateurs Reserves 2 v 8 Denton Town

Ten most seen teams

Maine Road FC 16

Denton Town 13

Cheadle Town 11

Cheadle Heath Nomads 11

Wythenshawe Amateurs 7

Styal FC 5

Stockport Georgians 4

Stockport Town 4

Eccleshall 4

Mersey Valley FC 3

Raffles won

As you can guess - bugger all.

End of season round-up

A strange season that in part stuttered and then flashed by like a whizzed up Linford Christie with a peppered gherkin rammed up his arse.  The viewing was spread far and wide with the usual favourite teams getting a good donation of aural observation.  October and November saw me miss many matches due to fungal duties - there ain't nothing finer than taking a group of folk into the woods to show them one's stinkhorn or relate tales about an episode of Crampballs that saw me bent double.  It is what I do in the hope of getting people enthused about nature, saving this dying planet and of course, arousing my rather aged nether's. I also had a major health scare that nearly saw my number called.  I was blessed to dodge a bullet but a few physical issues (darn that U-bend in my penis) needed attending to and so a couple more games were missed whilst I got back on the right path (well as close as I have ever been). 

The football on show was enjoyed as much as ever as was the touchline crack with many familiar faces.  STP Stu was by my side more often than not, with it always being a case of who gets to the ground first pays that duly had me attending matches well before kick-off.  In fact if Stu keeps up his heady pace I may have to start camping out at grounds the night before kick-off.  The viewing took place primarily within the North West Counties and Cheshire League structures with the odd foray into the Manchester League taken when I was on gigging duty or out nosying in the natural world.  The NWCFL left me a trifle disappointed if the truth be told with many teams not catching the eye and lacking an all round flair and unpredictability.  Most matches I attended were run of the mill although as ever, Maine Road FC, provided their usual waywardness and thus made a mockery of many pre-game predictions.  The club is always a favourite haunt and the ethos is right up my DIY street - it goes without saying that there will be many more trips there in the future.  Wythenshawe Amateurs upped the ante at the right time of the season and got their just rewards but if Cheadle Heath Nomads hadn't have had such a dreadful start things may have been a little different - it makes no odds though, the end table never lies and all the best to Wythy for the season ahead.

The Cheshire League has always been a source of fascination and pleasure, there is something earthy and may I say, cobbled together, about the whole set-up but it always gets by and allows us to see some good football played at a surprisingly decent level.  Mersey Valley FC is perhaps one of the best locations due to the open spaces, the lovely lasses in the clubhouse and the natural areas surrounding the ground that give me ample opportunity to explore before kick off.  Due to lowly attendances it helps keep one fit as chasing the 'out-of-play' ball is mandatory if one cares to stand on the far side of the ground (take note Kev). I hope to pay this club some serious attention next season and do some reports to get them a little extra note.  Of course Denton Town are a good club, decent people, are in a fine area and are now a Premiership team.  The support is increasing and I am sure will continue to do so if they have a good season next year.  My punky nature keeps me wandering and I can never commit to one club but Denton will always get their fair share of support from me that is for sure.

It was noticeable that I didn't do many reports this year but I did reach the 400 mark, a tally I think that surely afforded me a break.  I aim to do 25 reports a season from now on, I will go for variety and scribble at clubs that have not been disgraced by my penmanship.  It may help, it may cause concern for my mental state, it may end up in the local asylum for unadulterated shock treatment but, I will be out there, wallowing in the Non-League artform and now and again hailing its glory and wonder in written format.  Now to get my cramping balls tanned over the summer months and the nib of my pencil sharpened and ready. You may be intrigued, you my be appalled, but one thing you will not be is missing out on any touchline deviancy -watch this space.

In memory of Sean Errol Blaney - thanks for the good banter mate!