Saturday 10 September 2016

THE LINNETS GO HOME CHIRPING

10th September 2016 - Abbey Hey 0 v 1 Runcorn Linnets - After leading a 4 hour fungal foray in Warrington I just made it to this match with a few minutes spare to chew a few yoghurt covered raisins and swill some pineapple juice - lovely.  The weather was bang on the mark and Runcorn had dragged a few fans up this end to see this early season encounter between 2 highly capable sides.

Kick off and the early bustle came and throughout the hectic mania one couldn't help feeling Runcorn always had a bigger piece of the playing cake then their opponents.  It may have been only a few crumbs more but one could just sense the slight imbalance in the initial cut.  Having said that, the first real chance came to Abbey Hey whom, after one of the players made a cutting run and was clumsily brought down just outside the box, saw them have a free kick smartly saved and the opposing committer of the crime get away with a yellow card only.  Apparently the rules have altered and the 'last man instant red card' law no longer applies.  A few more chances came both ways, more heaving and hollering ensued accompanied by the usual touchline bigotry, bent views and one-sided opinions.  The stand out workhorses during the opening period of this clean and hard fought affair was the Abbey Hey No 7 and the cute trickster for Runcorn, the No 10 (Paul Shanley).  Both handfuls in their own separate ways.  All square at the interval was justice done and I contemplated witnessing one of those rare matches that ends in a bugger all draw - ooh heck!

A browse through a fungus book, a scratch of me arse, a rest of my aching legs and...peep, peep, the referee demanded another 45 minutes of attention.

Abbey Hey came out fizzing and looking to grab the game by the short and curlies.  A shot was cleared off the line after the goalkeeper just took enough oomph off the ball and another quick shot just flew wide.  The no-goal scenario was looking odds on until up stepped the Captain for Abbey Hey and a weak push of the ball that led to The Linnets gaining posession and hitting home the opening goal.  One error, one punishing occurrence - would that be the difference come 90 minutes?  From here Runcorn started to turn a tight screw and with the fans sensing another net rippler their oral input rose.  The Abbey Hey No 3 got booked for dissent, a few players looked frustrated and the away team pushed on.  Next moment a shout for a penalty looked convincing enough, that is until the lines-man ruled for offside whereupon he was duly labelled the definitive 'stupid twat'.  Ooh its a tough life waving a flag.  Numerous dubious decisions followed, Abbey Hey fought back well and 2 strikes brought 2 vital saves from the away teams No 1 which, in all honesty, saved the feathers on the arse of the Linnets rear.  An equaliser couldn't be ruled out but Runcorn are no mugs and saw this one out to sneak a win they will be glad to get.  I must give the Man of the Match to Runcorn's Goalie (Tom Hunt), when required he did what he should do and that is all one can expect.

FINAL THOUGHT - Like the buttocks of Fatima Whitbread this match is best described as tough and tight.  Both halves were balanced well with plenty of meat on show but it was one faux pas that decided the end result and that my dear non-league pervert, is how the knicker elastic sometimes twangs!  I tipped Runcorn to win the league prior to the season, they are now on a roll - be warned.  Abbey Hey had several good players on the pitch today and are a team I will check out several times more before the close of the season.

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