Saturday 28 January 2017

WE LOCAL YOKELS ENJOY A...TESTER

28th January 2017 - Stockport Town 2 v 1 Silsden AFC   - Expectations of going to a new ground today were washed away as the rain came and forced numerous 'postponed' signals to appear which resulted in only 4 matches remaining at 'all systems go'.  My missus preferred a local game and Stockport was her choice, who am I to argue?  After a morn that saw an hospital appointment see my eyes get dilated to obscene proportions and make the entrance of light almost painful I decided that I best pack my dark shades and perhaps view the match somewhat incognito.  Maybe just as well in case the game turned out to be a dull affair and my report was less than flattering.  'Who was that git who reviewed the match' I can hear the punters holler after a damning low-down was given.  'It was that twat in the dark glasses' would be the undoubted reply followed by a look of puzzlement as to putting a name to the said scandalous scribbler.  The plan seems to have many benefits.  Anyway, we arrived in good time, got a cup of tea and some quite lovely chips, took up a choice seat and watched a match that went something like this (with positivity at the helm of the textual matter).

The globe rotated after the first foot made contact, Silsden were the first to threaten when a corner ball was nutted towards the net, blocked and punted back out and then returned with curving interest by Hancock who saw the ball fly outside of the far post.  A Stockport defensive mix-up allowed Silsden another chance with a 3 on 2 break giving the No 9 (McNally) a clear shot that was cocked up in the extreme.  Moments later the same player was found by a diamond pass, a different foot was used to shoot - alas the result was exactly the same - way off target.  Two stinkers, two chances wasted.  Regardless of these flopped finishes Silsden were still playing the better football and worked many a gap through the centre of the park with only the last quarter seeing the play fall apart.  A scintillating pass by their No 11 was worthy of more but the goal-seeking No 8 was denied at the last by a watchful keeper.

A stodgy section came, a substitute and a brace of delays and then Silsden were at it again.  A corner won, hoofed in, two close range shots had and two fine saves made followed by a further effort being blocked on the line which highlighted Stockport's ability to live dangerously and come out non the worse for wear.  Silsden were certainly setting themselves up to rue these missed chances, a bite on the arse maybe in the offing.  Niggles were beginning to develop with certain players, the ref needed rear end eyes to keep on top of things as the match was becoming ever more frustrating and a test of each sides resolve.  I fancied Silsden to get the first goal when, out of the blue, Stockport played a hopeful long ball that was energetically chased by Oyibo and turned into a corner.  The corner kick came, time stood still and up rose Adam Stubbs to tup home and give his squad a surprise lead.  A lead in fact that was against the flow and so easily executed.  Straight down the other end matters went, 2 response shots produced two solid saves although the second was one that even I would have had a chance of blocking (he states with his noggin in La La Land).  Another break came from Stockport, No 4 played a stunner but the end result didn't transpire and as the half stuttered to a finish it was all still to play for.  A few Stockport players embarrassingly had a set to and rather than respect the lead they had, get their heads down and focus they chose to get distracted and endanger their lead - silly sods.

Tea for the break, much needed it was too as the weather today was a right tit trembler.  In fact I made note to go back home and hand-knit a couple of nipple cups for the next match before these perished pimples gave up and ruddy well dropped off in protest.  Oh those poor teets!

Half two started, we sat in a different place in the hope of avoiding the breeze - no chance, bah. The first chance of this second half came the way of the home side with a close in prod by Hurst just stopped by the feet of the keeper and keeping Silsden in the game.  Stockport were now the brighter unit, their No 3 was frantic and troubling and when an early fizzing corner just avoided contact it appeared a second goal was on the cards.  In truth Silsden should have been level though when some good weaving through the opponents pack led to a good cross met with an awaiting toe that should have done more than whack the ball into the heavens. Silsden had a free-kick next, straight at the wall and leading to a counter-attack that saw a shot booted off the line that only helped in whipping up some fraught emotions even further.  A few idiot exchanges were wasted breath and a good half was developing that should have demanded the players full attention.  Some idle and rather distracted defending by the visitors allowed Stockport's No 4 to get in and only a last ditched defensive effort kept things as they were.  Next, and some backchat combined with a referees dwindling patience saw a red card issued, much to the consternation of the punished player.  It seemed controversial but highlighted the fact that players who are in the leading team should get on with matters at hand and concentrate on just turning the screw on their opponents rather than getting involved in a moan fest.  The decision may have been harsh but hopefully a lesson has been learnt.  From this moment Silsden now had renewed hope.  As a coincidence it was not long after that a overhead back kick from a Stockport defender forced his own keeper to tip over and concede a corner which, in turn, led to several shots ploughing in and being blocked but it was the final one that went flying through the crowd, into the net and squaring matters in no uncertain terms. Daniel Illingworth was the scorer and justice was had.

15 minutes left, Stockport rallied with a flashing cross just missing the toe of the incoming striker - so close, so far away.  Silsden pushed back, but it was the home chaps who came closest after a simply delicious free-kick led to a firm shot by Stubbs being beautifully saved and pushed over.  The ensuing corner was delivered with class, the end product was lacking. The finale was frenetic, the ball was played back and forth repetitively, passed this way, that way and every ruddy old way and when Stockport eventually won a corner that was played and missed all rising heads, up steeped Darryl Grant on the 87th minute to thwack home a shot that found the net and, as it turned out, to decide the outcome of the game.  Lovely finish squire, lovely!  With 3 minutes left and little injury time Stockport came again and forced 2 great saves from a keeper under unexpected pressure.  The ball was blazed around the park, Silsden had semi-breakaways but support was slow in arriving and before we knew it the ref blew for full time and this testing trial of two decent teams was at a close.  Man of the Match today must go to the home side's guardian of the net (Daniel Whiting), due to several saves that kept his team in it, his constant barking from the back and an all round alertness that kept his defense honest.  Enjoy a beer chap!

FINAL THOUGHT - A testing game that at times was unnecessarily tetchy and indicative of two teams slightly frustrated by their play.  Silsden had some eye-catching players on show today and their position in the league strikes me as rather false.  Stockport on the other hand have regrouped well after the recent departure of the manager and several key players, their future however could be rosy as long as they keep their heads and encourage each other rather than aggravate.  My end comparison of this match is made to the dung of an Elephant who has been force fed an oyster and gravel diet.  A bit of a stinker in parts, gritty throughout but, within much of the soccerised shite suggestion is had of one or two potential pearls - how's that?

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