18th September 2017 - Stockport Town 6 v 1 New Mills - I am now officially immersed in the fungi season and am laden with spores, sprouting fruiting bodies from every orifice and am the proud owner of a noggin awash with Latin names. I led the first fungal foray of the year yesterday and had been wandering again today and so, after some microscopy and recording I needed a football fix to put some sanity back in my gills. The match tonight had an extra spice due to the manager of New Mills being the ex-manager of Stockport Town, a move that gave rise to many rumours and no doubt exaggerated claims. The last time I saw both teams was fairly recent and both impressed me in various ways, with Stockport's performance being quite exceptional. I paid my money on the gate, took up my position and made a mental bet, at the end of the review I shall reveal if my prediction came true.
The skies were dark as the two units came out, the rain was already falling but a good crowd was in attendance. New Mills were quick starters with a brace of crosses testing Stockport's mettle. The defending was sturdy but unexpectedly a sudden burst from The Miller's No 9 (Nathan Neequaye) who, from a couple of yards out could only fire the ball into the meat of the mittmans carcass. A corner was won and taken but the nut that came, although on target, was easily dealt with. The Town came back with their own assault that saw No 4 (Conor Downes) break and shoot and get a corner via a deflection. Nothing came of the corner but the balance was redressed. The same team came again, a long ball over the top was chased by No 9 (Ben Halfacre). The opposing defender and goalkeeper got in a muddle and the former's head made contact. The ball somehow went sailing wide - now that was ruddy dangerous. A minor lull followed before Stockport had another chance with the whipped up No 8 (Aaron Dwyer) through and looking down the barrel of a goal. The finish was rushed, the ball soared into the murk, disappointment reined.
Onwards and Halfacre of the Town stole in, passed and saw a cross flash across the goal mouth. No takers arrived except No 11 (Ruben Abreu) who was at the back post. He was too far out to shoot so put in a cross, agonisingly it bounced along the top of the bar and went over - a shot may have been more profitable after all. The Town came again, Halfacre back in the mix and producing a fine pass that saw Dwyer connect and dance inward before firing over again. New Mills were on the back peg although they won a corner that resulted in a distant crack from No 4 (Aaron Kirk) that was just a few feet off target. It wasn't long before another Lion's attack came, Dwyer again just thwarted by the keeper and soon the No 1 (Liam Flynn) was facing the ball coming his way again, this one from the toe of omnipresent Halfacre. Fortunately another save was not needed as the ball found too much elevation. The game took another dip, Ruben of the Town was in next but his toe poke bore no fruit. The Miller's had a rare sniff and re-emphasised the fact that they were still in this one after a ball in the box caused havoc and the mittman needed nimbleness, quick hands and a slice of fortune to keep things all square. Suddenly 2 fine balls came, Stockport were ablaze and in nipped No 2 (Daryll Grant) to eventually finish a choice move. Through the legs of the keeper the ball went, the mesh rippled, at last we had a goal. No more excitement came, the drizzle still fell, the break was welcome.
A read, a slurp and a Boost bar - and back to it!
The saturated bodies re-entered the fray. The home lads were immediately up and at the jugular of their opponents with Halfacre flashing a cross along the deck - again no frontman grabbing the chance, Within seconds a killer pass was produced, a second goal was slid home, this time by the alert Aaron Dwyer who not only doubled his teams lead but put a mighty boot in the hopes of the visiting crew. It was all The Town from here onwards, Halfacre again cracking a shot in via an audacious lob that was unlucky not to bring up goal number 3. Another attack, this time the same frontman actually finding the net. Offside given, the denial of glory didn't detract from a steamrolling performance. No 3 (Izzy Miranda) of The Town came next, he crossed and a tap in on the line saw a great save follow. The ball rolled outward, thwack - 3 - 0 and Jamie Hinchcliffe the recipient. A brief excursion forth by New Mills was had and a corner taken. This led to a Stockport break, Miranda drove on, the ball was released for Dwyer to chase. Guess what? Yes, 4 - 0 and game well and truly over. Within seconds we had a mirror image moment. The Millers pushed again, the break came with a shot and great save had and a loose ball there for the taking. Ben Halfacre was due a goal and he thumped home with certainty to add to an already embarrassing scoreline. 5 - 0 and still 22 minutes left.
From here I hoped the away team would get a consolation and they duly obliged when a mix up in the home defence saw the ball roll loose and Nathan Neequaye tap in and give those of a very hopeful nature (otherwise known as delusional lunatics) thoughts of a miracle. The comeback cretins were soon doused with defeat when Halfacre chased a hopeless ball, lost it, regained it, lost it and then, won a penalty. He would let no-one take the free-punt and he stepped up with focus and hammered home his second and his teams sixth. Moments later he was down and crook and hobbled off for some respite. The hat-trick though was a huge lure and with a slight limp the striker came back on to take part in the final minutes. No 15 (Ashley Stott) had a crack but the finish was poor, No 14 (Lee Constantine) had an effort too, wide of the mark it went and, with a bit more heave ho by the hosts and desperate chasing by the guests, the game eventually was done. There was many a bod from the Lion's squad who could have been Man of the Match tonight but No 9 (Ben Halfacre) must take the prize due to tenacity, doggedness and a brace of goals that were fully deserved. A good target man who, if in a calm and zoned mood, can get many, many goals this season.
FINAL THOUGHT - A job was done tonight, a real whipping and certainly indicating where both teams may end up come season end. The Stockport team are on a good streak at the moment and one mustn't forget this was a game of two teams on the same points before a ball was even kicked. Surely, with this kind of form, Stockport must at least make the play-off's. One never knows and stranger things have happened in the bedroom of the Arch Bishop of Canterbury, or so I am told. The Millers need to get grinding very soon and make sure they don't get too down on this one off result. I am sure back at their ground things may be a trifle closer. I think the team are like Dolly Parton, with one or two fine assets that need to be encouraged a little so as not to sag during a performance. The odd crack in the rear needs attention (cripes) and perhaps a little more uplift at the front is needed but these are minor suggestions and based, not just on tonight's evidence but on several viewings, the team are far from a duff donkey.
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