STYAL AND SUBSTANCE

13th August 2019 - Denton Town 0 v 2 Styal FC - This is my 5th match of a season that is still in its infancy with many teams tottering about, some up and walking and some still floundering and in need of a slurp on the teet of motivation.  As per, I am planning to watch and report on 60 matches this campaign provided the authorities don't get to me first for crimes against literary decency. So far I have witnessed 8 different teams do their thing and 12 goals hit the net as well as seeing several nervous breakdowns take place on the touchline and one lady get carried away after striving to break wind and unexpectedly giving birth to a rubber Jack Russell.  I have met some good folk, some regular touchline pals and have high hopes of another season of ups, downs and roundabout turns.   Denton Town will be getting more than a fair share of attention because my heart is always with the underdog and the DIY doofers and we always seem to get a good game of football whenever we turn up at this favoured spot.  Tonight my missus was with me again (she is becoming a real Denton Town stalwart) and we met up with STP Stu, a man attending on the back of a correct score prediction and looking to double-up on his success rate (which I hope he doesn't as we will never hear the last of it).  So tea supped, predictions made, jaws wagged and spots chosen, I expected goals, at least 4 or a stiff letter will be sent to all concerned as well as their parents, neighbours, closest friends and local MP.  Be warned the letter will contain graphical language, coarse but apposite references and...dum de, dum dum...line-drawings in green felt tip.

The grass was graced by the pins of 22 hoofers and one fellow in the role of judge and jury.  The bag of air was kicked on the dot of 7pm, the first salvo of promise came via the pack of predators from the crannies of Cheshire.  2 early corners were the result, both were delivered with adequate threat, the hosts did well to protect and survive.  The guests came once more, No 10 (Markell Bennett) collected, swivelled like a gymnast's disjointed hip and let fly.  The keeper stretched and did well to push the ball onto the vertical with the following corner going in, out, back in before landing in the arms of the reliable mitter.  Eventually the home 'erberts warmed to the task, a few interesting balls were tossed forth making sure the opponents didn't get too lackadaisical.  Whilst advancing however the Town were caught on the hop, a corner was won at the opposite end, duly delivered and with No 8 (Matthew Clarke) in the midst of a melee the ball pinged outward and ended up bulging the net - the question being, who the Hell got the final touch, I think it was an own goal!

Now a strike to the good Styal had their peckers up, No 7 (Jardel Depeiaza) went on a marauding run, he put two sharp crosses into the danger zone but the defenders were up to the task.  Denton earned a kick from the angle next, it was poor to say the least, Styal broke, No 3 (Zydane McCarthy-Brooks) galloped like a man with the shits, he was duly bumbled and handbags were drawn.  Some pushing, shoving, worked up verbals - oh the silly sods.  As the guests came again the keeper was caught off his line and rode his luck and then a break saw a corner for Denton earned which No 5 (Ryan Liddle) delivered.  A crust rose and touched the ball to the back post, No 9 (Nathan Edwards) gathered and looked to bury, alas the gloved guardian was down to save the day.  Another corner was collected, boomed forth with No 2 (Shackeel Depeiaza) on it and hammering, with an home rear warrior just doing enough. 

The Styal bench rose in thermal dynamics, they were duly told off for their heated language, the threat of the naughty chair loomed large for the manager.  The game on the pitch also became spicy, matters seemed to be on a very short fuse for sure with the referee struggling to stay in control.  From the sparks the ever-industrious No 3 (Mike Bennett) for the home team had a few good runs with Bennett for the away side a permanent splinter in the local chuff.  Some good endeavour from both units saw the sphere (not round object, take note Denton Dave) get wellied back and forth with no real chance at a further goal had.  At the death though No 9 (Nathan Lewis) for Denton was threaded through with only the keeper to negotiate.  The shot that came lacked direction and conviction, the save was solid enough.  A final cross needed the merest touch but never came and half-time it was.

Tea was a must, it was a lovely evening but a slight nip was in the air and just causing the pimples on my chest to harden.  I know I get worked up watching footballing but this would be deemed pornographic and I refuse to go down that route for the sake of seeking free publicity - I must get my knitted bra out for the next game.

The second half began with much bluster and great arduous battling.  Denton dug deep in their reserves, won a free-kick, had a few sorties forth and had a corner that came to nowt.  A period of midfield mayhem followed, No 16 (Liam Turner) and No 17 (Aiden Hopkins) of Denton were making notable contributions and causing much fluster but it was No 11 (Clevon Beadle) of Styal who sprung next, a shot came, a save, another effort and a follow-up block, No 9 (Joe Knight) with another chance but the blazing boom was off target.   Town then indulged in a moment of madness, duly pissed about at the rear and saw the ball pilfered and buried by the aforementioned Knight.  A suicidal moment to say the least, soccer seppuku incarnate, 0 - 2 to the visitors.

A response was now needed, it came, No 15 (Sakib Islam) had a shot deflected wide, the corner that came was crap.  No 10 (Nathan Lewis) had a fair effort sneak inches by the upright and despite the scoreline hope was still in the air as well as 2 passing Swifts and a flock of feeding House Martins.  The back end of the match was done in decreasing light, Denton were still guilty of spending too long on the ball in the rear with a Styal attack the result of such dawdling and culminating in an opportunity for Bennett to sign, seal and deliver the result.  Thankfully for the hosts the toe poke went around the far stick.  A brace of corner kicks came in return - the first was nutted by No 12 (Ellis Tucker) at the near post and was deflected wide, the follow on falling to a striker a couple of feet out who somehow jabbed the ball into the mitters arms.  As darkness nudged in, No 8 (Matthew Clarke) for the travellers was denied a strike by some last ditch defending and from the final murk a corner came with Clarke having another go and nutting with power, forcing the keeper to neatly tip over.  A halt to matters was finally declared, I pondered the Man of the Match and went for Styal's No 1 (Connor Beard) for several decent saves, an abundance of off-the line scampering, numerous long balls that put the wind up the opposition and a consistent showing of quick-thinking - darn tidy work sir.  After farewells we pootled homeward, all 3 of us are rather fond of Denton and the fine folk that operate there behind the bar, round the ground and on the pitch, we shall return.

FINAL THOUGHT - Thoughts on both teams have been rolled around the cerebral palette, slept on and considered some more.  I think Styal have great promise this time around and have a wealth of pace in all areas of the park and many options on show but, they seem to be on the cusp of blowing a fuse and if they don't watch it could overstep the mark and ended up pissing on many savory chips - I hope this is not the case.  The bench has good passion and keeps the team motivated and moving, they just need to make sure they keep them disciplined as well and I feel, come season end, this group of gallopers could be right in the mix.  Denton Town showed a rare commodity tonight that, I feel, will serve them well over the coming months, a commodity known as 'resilience'.  They battled from the trenches tonight, kept their discipline and in truth, were unlucky not to snatch a draw from this match.  The re-match down in Cheshire could be a mighty interesting affair, I best keep tabs on these two teams and hopefully get my arse down and scribble another report.  In the meantime, get out and support teams like this folks and forget the big business bullshit at the upper end that means sweet FA - think on, this is Fungalpunk, news at Ten, G- Manchester (Reginald Bosanquet kiss my arse).