Half the first, and the opening threat came when the hosts won a free-kick high up the pitch with the breeze at their backs. No 8 (Ryan McKechnie) put in a floater that had a trifle too much weight with No 6 (Jamie Symes) arriving but just not being able to make any contact. A midfield contest ensued with both teams prodding and poking like perverted doctors but failing to make any crucial penetration. The Poppies started to knock forth few questioning balls and gain some territorial advantage but the apical sharpness was lacking and the home lads easily mopped up any danger. Suddenly, the resident ranks broke, a free-kick was won, played and No 9 (Greg Borthwick) gathered in a seemingly innocuous position. With back to goal a turn was made and a glimpse of the onion bag had. A shot came, the ball was buried, this was a fine opener but surely the Poppies were rather akin to Liberace and somewhat slack in the rear department.
Portland now had their peckers enthused. Another swift sortie, No 7 (Luke Sheehy) had the ball at
his tootsies, cut in, put in a glided cross that was hurriedly defended behind
for a corner. This bonus kick was
cleared but Portland continued to exert pressure. No 4 (Josh Williams) put the next cross into the danger
zone with the keeper gathering at the second attempt. Again the home team came, No 11 (Ben Morris) fed No 10 (Brin Doyle) who swept
a shot forth with the guest No 1 (Jakub Lewiarz) doing well to tip over the bar. The corner was once more dealt with.
Bournemouth were on the ropes, the odd foray forth was
easily snuffed out as the leading force looked to double the lead. Morris had a pop from distance that wasn’t
too far wide and then a quick multi-pass move was finalised by Doyle who
boomed his shot into the air and duly let out a justified yell of utter
disappointment. Morris had another dig
after being given time to turn in the box.
The shot took a slight deflection, the man between the uprights did well
to tip over. Again the corner brought no
joy.
Several more corners came toward the Bournemouth zone of
peril, the keeper earned his crust several times and in my opinion, went into
the half time changing rooms as a real stand out player. This was all well and good but his outfield
compatriots needed to up their game to see that he wasn’t on the losing side
come the 90 minute call.
We had a drink for the break, I was caffeine’d out so went
for a cuppa-soup – it was awful. All I
can say is that the gnats around these parts must have awfully big bladders and
the branding company who make this stuff have it all wrong. Surely Cuppa-Shite
is a more honest tag – I will stick to a good old coffee in future that is for
sure. Following this date with defecation
I needed a quick whizz, it came as no surprise that when I pointed the old John
Thomas at the porcelain the smell was a subtle blend of mouldy peas, buggered
chicken with a hint of rectal dust gravy – I failed to quell the smell and just
hoped the next person to use the urinal had a strong constitution.
Back on the touchline and half the second soon began. My lasses decided to sit behind me whilst I
scribbled my notes. Bournemouth started
with a good spell of possession football which was noteworthy enough but few
advances were made. After a Portland corner that was about as effective as a
pair of tissue-based swimming trunks Bournemouth played a long ball laden with danger
but the resident Symes put in an eye-catching block that surely saved his sides bacon.
Bournemouth were certainly having more of the ball but
unlike the great Tony Hart, they were severely lacking in the creativity
department. The home team were
eventually allowed to worm their way back into matters with an initial
free-kick ruined by a rather silly infringement.
The leading team now started to display more urgency on the ball and
produce a greater sense of promise when roaming forth. A free-kick came, the ball went in and out
with Borthwick sending forth a crisp shot that the keeper saved well
(again). The game now carried a good
tempo, at 1-0 this was still up for grabs.
Once more Borthwick had a punt at the netting but again, the
mitted protector was up to the task and stopped any bulging of the mesh.
10 minutes were left, Bournemouth had a minor push that
resulted in a keeping fumble. Somehow a
break was the outcome, No 18 (Joseph Wickham) raced away and found himself with
two defenders hot on his arse and only the keeper to beat. The shot came and was an example of consummate
coolness with the ball nestled in the net and doubling the teams lead. My
pre-match prediction was now looking mighty good.
Action came at either end but the defenders stood firm with the guest keeper called into action yet again when No 5 (Shaun Bessant) for Portland had a poke at goal from a corner but was denied by some solid keeping. From here the time ticked away, high end action fizzled and we were done. The Man of the Match was a close call with Lewiarz for Bournemouth Poppies nearly getting the nod. In the end I had to give the Fungalised pick to No 6 (Jamie Symes) for Portland United who was the veritable rock at the rear and got his head, legs and feet on everything and duly thwarted all the oppositions attempts at gaining a strike.
FINAL THOUGHTS – A new ground visited, 2 new teams seen, a
warm welcome and a viewing of what transpires in the Velocity Wessex Football
League. We can’t complain. Thoughts on the teams were as follows:- Bournemouth
Poppies tried to play too many long balls, they didn’t do enough off the ball
and their options when marauding forward always seemed a little limited. There is a lot of work to do with this lot
but one thing is for sure, the keeper certainly needs to keep his place and
keep putting in stints like today.
Portland United may start to build a good run from here, they have a few
players that catch the eye, look to play some good football and are surely
better than their current position suggests.
The key will be keeping players healthy and hungry and making sure they play wide and when attacking they do so with pace and as a unit. We plan to watch this lot again soon, we are
in the area so why not? I do believe the
next game is a cup match, I would like plenty of goals and to get another
prediction right, and of course, to stay well clear of that darn soup – watch
this space!
FOOTNOTE: We did watch Portland on the following Tuesday - they dominated Romsey Town in a cup match, played some delicious football and won 7 - 0. I avoided any soup-based upset, my lasses enjoyed it and we got back to the lighthouse now PUFC fans - it may be a while before we return but when in the area, we will be on the touchline.
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