Saturday 27 January 2018

EFFICIENCY PAR EXCELLENCE

26th January 2018 - Widnes FC 2 v 0 Runcorn Town - The weekend starts here, well that's what they said on that marvellous retro rock and roll show 'Ready, Steady, Go' - surely they weren't having us on. I hoped tonight's game was going to hold has much life and heady vitality as the barnet of Mr Keith Fordyce - what a bonny head of hair he had.  Me and my good lady finished our working week, we had a quick nibble (food that is, you smutty devils), sorted out our directions and duly set off.  Last time we headed this way we made a hash of the return journey and ended up pootling round the charms of Runcorn like a couple of budget Alan Whickers trying to scrape together a patchwork documentary.  We arrived tonight safe and sound, got the regulation cuppa and headed out into the arena to ponder the night's action.  2 very good teams these, always a pleasure to watch and destined to take part in a match that could be anything from a scoreless draw to a striker's boom time - I would prefer the latter.  So match 56 of the season, I am still enthused, excited and enthralled - are you?

The home side made all the early running with Runcorn seemingly happy to feed the front 2 with a variety of long balls.  The visitors though seemed in a constant flap and when, on the 7th minute, a couple of weak Widnes passes were not dealt with it was the quintessential nuisance No 7 (George Lomax) who snuck in for the hosts and bumbled in a real ugly looking goal.  Ugly or not though, as Quasimodo once lovingly said of all his grotesque children, 'they all count'. Runcorn were now Elvis-like (All shook up) and looked to find a semblance of cohesion. Lomax was soon through the struggling pack once more and he executed a quite sublime chip finish that, if it wasn't for the pesky liner's flapping flag, would have seen us witness a real choice goal - them's the breaks squire!  Shortly after and the same player tried the same move again, this time the move was unmolested by a waving pendant but the strike was off target and let a lucky Runcorn side off the ever-present hook.  A static period came, Widnes broke the dip when a quick double pass allowed No 10 (Jack Graham) to disappointingly blaze over!  This was becoming too easy for the hosts and Runcorn were being bedazzled by their opponents acute movement, efficient organisation and all round hassling antics.  Again the black and white boys came, the eternally advancing No 2 (Jay Roberts) burst forth, put in a cross and saw Lomax only millimetres away from nudging the ball home and creating a quite worthy lead.  Runcorn now used this scare as a catalyst and eventually started to gain possession of the elusive globe.  All options were closed though and Widnes were applying an effervescent pressure that was apparent throughout the squad.  This pressure forced the visiting No 7 (Aaron Hassall) to produce a sloppy back header that allowed his opposite number (Kevin Towey) to sneak in and try an impudent chip.  It was a glorious chance, it was gloriously missed - bah!

A rare Runcorn surge came, the admirable determination of No 3 (Michael Carberry) won a corner but the angled ball was dire and only led to a swift counterpunch that saw a glanced header fall to the feet of No 11 (Chris Lomax) who shot and missed by a mile.  It was another chance gone and I did wonder if the worm of spite would turn and cause the team in the ascendancy to rue the chances lost.  Runcorn came on, put in a good effort to stem the flow, but Widnes had the last two efforts of the half with Roberts working the flank and winning a corner that once more lacked quality and then a last gasp free-kick was saved with ease and sent us into the break as we were.  A nicely balanced scoreline not indicative of what transpired but when there is only one goal separating the teams the end prize is still up for grabs.

Half-time - we chatted and chomped on a few biscuits - Crunch Creams for me, Fig Rolls for the lass - yummy, scrummy ding, dong!

The teams came back out, Towey of Widnes raced away with early focus, mugged a defender and let fly.  The shot cut through the night air and sailed over - it would have been a most ideal start for all neutrals and of course, the home 'erberts.  The hosts had their tails up, No 3 (Phil Doran) progressed with purpose, placed a pass to Towey who swivelled with his back to goal, faced the target and slapped into the top corner with seasoned ease - what a great finish, what a way to double the lead!  Runcorn could only respond to this second kick in the nether-regions with a duff free-kick, it just was never going to be their night.  Doran came again for The Whites, he started a tidy move and finished close in with power outweighing precision - close but no cookie sir!  The short-distance travellers began to sweat blood in their endeavours to get back into this one but for me, the Widnes rearguard were as tight as the buttocks of Wayne Sleep (so I am told) and as clinical as Bernard Matthews in a hen-house (nasty bugger).  This was a prime example of defense being the first line of attack - an outstanding effort.

A dip in excitement came, Runcorn were as toothless as Albert Steptoe and Widnes were as suffocating as Hattie Jacques in a telephone box (but man, what an experience that would be). George Lomax for the black and whites had a decent double punt but the guest mittman did enough with various parts of his anatomy.  A few subs impeded the flow as did a few injuries and when we did get underway it was still a case of Runcorn trying to penetrate the seemingly impermeable.  A few sequinned handbags were swung, another injury held up play but from the mire No 8 (Sean Myler) for the home lads rattled the bar with a decent free-punt.  The visiting keeper was called to action not long after when a shot from the Widnes substitute (Ben Hodkinson) was sweetly saved.  It was all academic however as the offside flag was up, even this small glint of success was stolen from a struggling squad - sometimes the beautiful game can be one nasty old crone.  The last two chances came, Doran in for Myler who fired over and left his team still 2 up and at the very last it was another Widnes sub (Stuart Cook) who was through with a smart run and who finished with a shot that just snuck past the post - unlucky fella! The middle official blew, we were done, the stadium emptied quicker than Ben Hur's Bowels on a dodgy chariot and we tootled off home, listening to a 1951 adaptation of 'The Day of the Triffids' - gotta keep the head ticking tha' knows!  Man of the Match tonight could have been one of many for The Whites but I am opting for their No 3 (Phil Doran) who was solid, reliable, strong throughout and, if truth be told, was unlucky not to get a couple of assists and a goal, not bad for a defensive bod hey.

FINAL THOUGHT - For me, and I suspect the other 255 punters in the stadium, this was a turn up for the books.  The efficiency, work rate and all round forcefulness of Widnes FC totally dictated this match and one would have never believed that this was a contest between the 2nd and 3rd positioned clubs in the Premier League.  Runcorn were bossed and bullied and in brutal truth, outwitted in most areas of the park and looked like a team in disarray - very say to see from a unit that usually brings so much more to the table.  Perhaps an off-night, perhaps a taste of things to come - I certainly hope it is a case of the former and the team get back to winning ways soon enough.  When the wheels come off it can be hard work getting any forward motion going again, just ask Stephen Hawking after he crashed into that milk float - what a struggle that was!  Let us not take anything away from Widnes though, a real complete and convincing performance this and surely reflecting a side who are just going to keep on getting better and better.  The fact is, even when they aren't in possession of the ball they are still dictating matters, a real rare commodity indeed and one that will always keep them competitive and troublesome.  We shall be back at The Select Stadium, we never come away disappointed - today it was a case of 'ditto'.

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