RED AHEAD

13th October 2018 - Whitchurch Alport 2 v 0 Barnoldswick Town - Whenever I am called upon to lead a walk at Harthill in Cheshire the first thing I check is that Whitchurch Alport are playing at home.  With walks running from 10am til 1pm that gives us enough time to get sorted and travel the short distance to watch this fine team at a ground that is always a pleasure to visit.   Today myself and my good lady got a soaking in the name of the shrooms, hopefully kept a group of folk intrigued and inspired and showed them a few myco-delights that could have easily been passed by.  From here, and after a quick cuppa, we drove to the ground, had a quick change and paid our entrance fee.  Chips and more tea were crucial and upon purchase we picked our scoffing spot and indulged.  The weather was still shabby, the wind nibbled at regions best left undescribed and I was hoping for a ruddy good football match with plenty of goals, no bookings and perhaps a streaking midget sporting a 10 foot hard on.  My wife tells me that sometimes I ask for too much, hey ho, the chips went down well I suppose so anything else is a bonus.  On paper this looked a tough test for both squads with Whitchurch always good value at home and Barnoldswick on a decent run of late and looking to keep tabs on the league leaders.  Intrigued?  So am I and this is the outcome of much huffing, puffing and passion!

The Barlick Boys had the major possession in the opening sequences with a keenness displayed to play a sharp passing game.   The Red Men absorbed and made sure that when they got the ball it stayed on the deck rather than getting tossed up in the swirling air.   The first action saw the home No 11 (Alex Hughes) brought down in clumsy fashion and a free-kick duly given and wasted with the ball thudding into the wall and then getting hoofed clear.  Barlick remained unruffled and passed with a good awareness of where each player was and the movements made.  One move earned a bonus kick on the flank but the ball in followed the suit set by the previous effort at the other end and was easily punted away.  The Alport reacted, Hughes was through and shot with hopeful desire and saw the ball go through the keepers legs but seem to hit the hanging arse that somehow impeded momentum.  Beat by the buttocks hey - bah! The visitors came on, several corners, a few balls in and a booming header from their No 2 (Elliot Wilson) all failed to troubled the target zone, it was looking like a match that was going to end up mighty close with only one or two goals in it.   

As a midfield battle brought little in the way of chances Whitchurch suddenly put together a sterling move that saw 3 passes come from front to back and the ball get buried from a sizzling cross.  It was a pity the liner was a flag-waving party pooper - his decision did seem correct though - the rotten sod!  Barlick had a couple of chances to nip through from the central melee but the final touch was just lacking and as matters became slightly mundane I did ponder the prospect of a goalless draw.  The guests came once more and the best chance of the game seemed on the cards when the home No 4 (Leon Ashman) got duly stuck in and produced a sensational tackle built on rugged strength and fine timing.  From this moment a turnaround came as a Whitchurch ball over the top seemed a trifle optimistic but found the feet of the galloping No 9 (Tim Sanders).  He broke the offside trap, zoned in on goal and looked to pick his spot.   The game needed a goal, the home supporters certainly wanted a goal and he duly obliged with a cool stroke home that brought great joy to the many onlookers.  From here the travellers battled but No 10 (Matthew Ashbrook) for the WA lads competed hard, won a ball from sheer endeavour and provided a cross that was aching for a finishing execution - alas it didn't come.  Within seconds the same player went on a good run and earned a free-kick. Hughes took charge, hammered one and the keeper saved.  The ball was loose and on the scraps the ever industrious No 7 (Simon Everall) fed and crossed for Sanders to belt home and put icing on the first half cake.  The half was soon done, this had been close but the home chaps had certainly stuck at it and were good for the advantage.

Half-time, we stayed put, continued a chat we started earlier with a fine local gent who was mighty keen on his side.  Me and the missus shared a yoghurt bar and the teams came out to recommence the battle.

The first chances fell the way of the visitors at the beginning of the second period with No 7 (Adam Latham) contributing some decent work and a cross that No 8 (Andrew Hill) knocked waywardly off target.  A corner came next after the guest No 3 (Ethan Kershaw) nipped in and shot.  To much arsing saw the angled kick wasted and Whitchurch go on a sudden break. Hughes was at the helm of the charge, indecision and a headwind put paid to any serious bother but a goal kick for the home side soon after saw Everall gallop on, slap in a razor cross that was well held by the under pressure mitter.  No 3 (Nicholas Marley) was soon having a burst forth himself when linking up with Everall and bringing about a foul.  The free-kick came, the ball in was low and hard and connected with but somehow peril was piddled on and we stayed as we were.  A few spiced tackles ensued (ooh curried goolies) but the home team remained very much in control.  

Into the back stretch after much hard labour, WA's No 10 (Matthew Ashbrook) was allowed to trespass forth and release but the dig that came went straight at the keeper.   All the Town could offer in return was a free-kick that needed a crucially accurate placement.   What transpired was a shot out of the bottom drawer of shittery where one keeps all things deemed awful.  Into the last 15 minutes we entered, onwards the trailing side pushed but with each and every advance a resilient rear pack was hit.  A late free-kick for The Alport saw the sequence finalised by an audacious overhead kick that wasn't that far off the mark.  Hughes, was the brave soul (or ambitious lunatic if you so prefer) who ended up without luck - a worthy try though nonetheless. The added minutes brought little in the way of excitement although a loose page from a back issue of 'Nude Pygmies' fluttered by in the wind and I did get a glimpse of some unexpected micro genitals.  The referee eventually called a halt to matters, I pondered a Man of The Match and went for Whitchurch Alport's No 3 (Nicholas Marley).   A good effort, very secure at the back and always looking to cause trouble in a more advanced position with some dinky runs and sharp passing - nice one. 

FINAL THOUGHT - Well another good trip down to Yockings Park was had and although wind blown, filthy from the fungi walk and with wet feet we had no complaints whatsoever.  The away team looked a bit flat today and when setting themselves to punch released without any inspiration and looked lost for follow-up shots.  A team on a decent roll can hit days like this and the true test comes in how they bounce back.  Today they were forced to scrap on the ropes and looked mithered and far from comfortable although their No 3 (Ethan Kershaw) was a shining light and one example of a few positives to hold onto.  Whitchurch Alport played a tight, unforgiving game today and made sure they were on it from the off and working as a complete unit.  It wasn't a flamboyant performance but a workmanlike shift that got the job done far easier than one would have expected.  They are now moving in the direction they should be, dead ahead, and doing so without looking over their shoulders and worrying about things around them.   This is a tough and competitive league but I will be very surprised if this lot aren't in the top six when the final whistle blows.  So we tootled off home, I never did find the rest of that pygmy magazine, and will be back again ready to enjoy some more non-league action - tis good to pootle and support!