The set up was sound, the obligatory coffees bagged and seats chosen for what was a cup replay after the away team had been punished for fielding a few ineligible players (so I was informed by a touchline home fan). We all made pre-match predictions (which were all proven to be wrong) and the match unfolded as thus:-
The initial play was fairly balanced at both ends of the pitch with much promise displayed. The robust breeze that was blowing through though was looking to be the predominant player in an opening sequence that was making matters difficult to predict. Helston were passing well but just failing to squeeze the trigger quickly and slightly guilty of not working hard enough off the ball. The home No 19 (Jude Tripconey) though was a lively component and eventually earned his side a gratis hoofing. No 10 (Finn Costa) took the honours, played it short to No 7 (Olly Redd) who touched on to No 12 (Matt Searle) whose finalising shot had too much uplift. From this fair move the ball was booted goalward by the home No 16 (Jake Warman) who saw the visiting mitter (Jimmy Weeks) off his line and duly chanced his shank. The keeper backpedalled and pushed the ball onto the upright to save his side's exposed arses. Phew, that was a close bloomer for sure.
Helston continued to make most of the play with a throw in coming that landed at the feet of the forward thinking No 9 (Liam Eddy) who turned and let fly a low shot that the keeper smothered with unflustered ease. The guests continued to look for scraps and eventually grew into the game proper. Eddy though had another pop soon after but the keeper collected with no fuss once again. From nowhere though the guests reacted. No 12 (Billy Spurway) had a good dig at goal and forced the home No 1 (Morgan Jones) into producing a quite choice save and then, within the shake of a sausage dog's todger, some shabby defending allowed Aldus to crack one off and force the keeper into pull off another solid block. A corner ensued, it was posted with good pace and accuracy but the keeper was there to palm away.
The pressure on the home goal led to a couple of breaks that were laden with potential but which lacked the all crucial coup de grace, I felt as though the opening goal was getting close though and girded my loins for a real net buster (oh we of warped faith). No 11 (Phil Cattran) for the home lads tried to break the deadlock from range but the shot had more uplift than the wired up brazzies of Dolly Parton. At the other end Spurway beat a couple of players, entered the box of promise but was just unable to negotiate a further bod. Aldus had a grass-grazing shot that went wide next and then Helston pounced. Much probing was done. Eddy eventually gathered, played a sumptuous pass to Cattran who only had the gloved one to beat. This man between the uprights was duped, the ball sent home and the lead was bagged. Nifty work!
The game galloped forth, Stoke pressed, No 2 (Sam Bishop) let fly a right old sizzler that was inches over and then Helston advanced via Redd who had time to strike but was beaten to the boomer by Eddy who neatly doubled his side's lead. From the restart Stoke jumped out of the blocks, Aldus was at the apex of a swift move and released a low firm effort that found the back of the net. A strange silence was borne, the ground became a graveyard of eerie sound absence - we three onlookers looked at one another and were in a unified 'WTF' moment - how odd, but great for the game it was.
From here little else occurred and into the break we went. The sun came back out, the match held plenty of intrigue and a fine award was had by one B. Dunston for 50 years of footballing service. Great stuff and applause all round. To cap a wonderful interval we just needed to win the 50/50 draw but, it seems like the chairman's lovechild was in luck again with his 17th win on the bounce. I remained without suspicion!
A free-kick was earned by the guests at the start of period 2, the keeper was unruffled and dealt with it. At the other end Cattran took too long in striking the ball, Eddy was quicker and had a shot that was tidily touched over. The resultant corner was hit too long. A few semi-chances came, the stickmen stood firm. There came a lapse in fluidity and hot-assed action although I felt a fart building and considered blowing one off in the liner's mush. Alas I am not a public flatulator, it goes against the laws of observed decency he says (whilst steaming up his monocle).
A few shots and a free-kick threatened to curry the spices and this was the case when the visitors lost the ball and Eddy got his noggin down and had only one thing on his mind (well two if you count the post match bowl of savoury testes). The goal was sighted, the ball boshed, 3 - 1 it now was and the goal was well taken for sure. Things were looking hunky-dory for the hosts and so a sub was made, a local favourite it seemed. The player was coming back after a long injury and no sooner had he entered the fray he indulged in a 50/50 ball and after some prolonged treatment was stretchered off. All the best for a quick recovery lad.
The game continued, Heston's Eddy tried to bag another but the danger was quelled by an alert defender and then Stoke flashed forth with a cross ensuing and a downward header executed and looking destined for a goal but stopped by the eye-catching mittman. From here the away pack applied some heavy pressure thus forcing the resident squad to dig deep. Alas no comeback was to be and this scenario was cemented when Helston's No 14 (George Marris) beat 3 players, delivered a cross that saw the globe ping about and go loose. Searle collected from the opposing flank, put in what looked like a cross ball that metamorphed into a shot and brought the scoreline to 4 goals to 1. A prayer of thanks perhaps to the Greek God Boreas and his assisting wind methinks (now that's flatulence).
The game tickled on, no further thrills seemed likely and I found time to empty the throbbing plumbing system. I was back on the touchline to see the guest No 7 (Saul Vanes) twat one over and that was that. Man of the Match must go to the Helston Athletic No 1 (Morgan Jones) who made several quality laden and utterly crucial saves at the right time to make sure his side remained in matters, took charge and kept their noses in front. I like it when a keeper gets the MOM nod, good on ya chap. Keep then maulers safe!
We three onlookers headed off, this had been a good visit and a good game played in a sound spirit - the next time we are in Cornwall we may be back.
FINAL THOUGHTS - Overall the match was played in a very applaudable spirit that saw needless niggles, gripes and gobbing off absent (this was a real noteworthy aspect). I think the home team won this with relative ease and hopefully will continue on a good cup run that will bring them good reward. If the wind helps blow them in the right direction then so be it, they just need to make sure that for each and every game, after a goal, there is no lapse in concentration. Stoke Gabriel And Torbay Police contributed to the fair play essence of this game and despite struggling with the whole affair today they remained disciplined and never lost their heads. This was just one of those days when a team wasn't allowed to get going and I am sure they will bounce back from this setback. I noted a few good grafters in the mix and some steady suppliers of the ball which is always the sign of a decent backbone - here's to a change in fortune soon.
