1st November 2016 - Stockport Town 0 v 6 Crewe Alexandra - I turned up early to this match tonight and felt the tendrils of Jack Frost creep into my framework and set about turning my todge, and other parts, to level 'tingle'. By heck the weather had changed all of a sudden and the half time cuppa was already anticipated. Tonight's footballing escapade was a preliminary round of the Cheshire Senior Cup and I couldn't help smile at the cup's title as Crewe were obviously fielding so many fresh faced youngsters - ah the joys of aging eyes, a niggling bastard it is!
The players came onto the dew laden pitch, their breath puffed forth and the ball was warmed up by many a kick and many a whack. The initial play saw Crewe apply themselves with a greater lubrication in the system whilst Stockport worked with industry and, against the general flow, nearly stole the early lead after a wide pass was played, a cross pushed in and a knock home just failed to find the awaiting net. From here the match levelled out and Crewe probed with many carving passes cutting through the vulnerable flesh of the Stockport defence only to be denied full blooded glory by an 'on-the toes' keeper who kept the scoreline blank with several decent saves. The tide did seem to be swinging the way of the swifter away unit but a free kick from Stockport led to a close-in flick that was disappointingly straight at the keeper but still displayed the fact that Crewe would be ill-advised to switch off the gas. Still Crewe probed, they looked to that long ball option time and time again and it was one of these lengthy testers that led to a disputed offside missed and the liberated ball being retrieved and crossed with Tom Lowery of Crewe popping up to tap in on the 40th minute and cripple the home teams hopes of going into the dressing room all square. The last few minutes ticked by, the ref decided he needed a warm-up and the half ended with many scooting towards the karsi's, the bar and the open hole in the wall were the blessed tea was served with a smile.
I shifted my arse, pointed the acorn at the basin (tis cold tha' knows), acquired a cuppa and sat back down sipping the precious steaming liquid - ooh and I had a couple of chunks of a raisin and biscuit Yorkie Bar - cracking stuff!
Part two soon began and Stockport had a fine opening chance with their No 11 storming forth, creating an opportunity but being denied glory by a goalkeeper who did well to be alert so early on and crush any chance of a kickback. A trio of hold-ups impeded the early session of the second half and in some respects knocked a little breath out of the fans and a game that seemed to be floundering. More semi-chances came at each end but ended in disappointment and one felt that we were going to see out the remaining time with no further net ripplers. The atmosphere remained as flat as a witches tit, offsides were plentiful and when a scrambled ball was pinged about in Stockport's box it was with some relief that a pot-shot was squeezed home by Callum Ainley. The goalies fumble was a shame though as he had had a good match up til now. The restart came and no sooner had the score of 2 -0 registered before it was 3 up for Crewe with a stunning long ball finding Crewe's No 11 (Charlie Kirk) who nonchalantly lobbed the keeper and put the game to rest. Stockport now tried to steady the sinking ship but a tired defensive error saw the ever busy Callum Saunders pilfer possession, make a surging run and nail the fourth in the 80th minute. A very unfair scoreline I thought and moments later another faux pas added to the disparity of decency with Daniel Udoh snatching the fifth and then, 5 minutes later grabbing his second and bringing up the rather flattering half dozen for the one's known as The Railwaymen. Stockport were now mere spectators and fell apart at the ragged seams and when 90 minutes was up I think it was just as well and stopped more salt being added to the ever widening wound. Man of the Match could have gone to several Stockport players and a few Crewe combatants but I will go for the pacey No 11 (Charlie Kirk) of Crewe who always looked a threat, moved with directness and enthusiasm and who finished his goal with that extra touch of quality not really prevalent in tonight's match.
FINAL THOUGHT - Like the pendulous titties of an aging Dolly Parton there was, on paper at least, a noteable gulf between the two clashing elements tonight. Despite this, and the fact that there was a 6 goal difference when time was called, I thought Stockport did ruddy well, were well organised on the whole and provided enough positivity to take with them into the bread and butter of the season proper. Again I make a comparison, the 6 - 0 scoreline was akin to a political speech, it appears as one thing but in reality is something else entirely which makes for one way of reasoning - never trust the so-called facts and listen to the neutral observer if you get the chance.
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