THE 12 C's OF CHRISTMAS

10th December 2016 - Congleton Town 1 v 0 Cammell Laird 1907 FC  - Prior to the match I had updated many wildlife records, indulged in 4 spicy chicken thighs, watched a marvellous documentary about 'Insect Dissection' and done a few dishes - not bad for a man with a cold. After being dropped off at the train station by my good lady who was still victim to the viral elements I caught the chugging train to Congleton, did the 1 point 7 mile walk and arrived at the ground to invest in a superb tray of chips and an equally satisfying cup of cha.  I watched the teams warm-up and was impressed with the Cammell Laird coach who motivated with gusto!  I then had a chinwag with some nice folk and awaited the match to start proper.

The precious hour of 3pm came, the time that so many footballing fanatics hold in sacred esteem and that here, like so many other places countrywide, saw a ball start to roll and get some escapist magic underway.  The initial drizzle that accompanied the start of the match was pathetic and one questioned the Heavenly prostate gland and wondered if all was well down below, up above.  The opening patch of play saw the Laird hold their own and win a brace of corners, a couple of free-kicks and much of the ball.  Despite this Santa and his crew behind the away teams nets sang like sozzled newts and helped the atmosphere to rise no end.  The jingles and carols continued throughout, Congleton began to warm to the task and their No 7 sent a thumping shot towards goal that may have missed but just kept their opponents honest and on their plates of meat.  Instantaneously Cammell Laird came back, had a free-kick well blocked before both teams dug in and a stalemate was had.  Something needed to happen and suddenly a Cammell Laird breakaway came after a dubious offside call, their No 9 worked hard and made a nuisance of himself and reward was given via a bonus spot kick.  Up stepped the No 2, a delay added to the tension, the ball was finally struck - low and straight and the tall and rangy orange clad netman dropped like a sack of satsumas to block a penalty that left a lot to be desired.  A chance surely that would haunt the team later on.  The ursine brigade nearly made the away team pay dearly after an effort was just put wide and more growl in their guts the home team began to play a wider game and started to stretch the visitors defence. One expected a goal to come, it didn't, the ref blew and another wag of the jaw was had, a choccie bar chomped on, a free mince pie enjoyed and some cordial pop swilled.  

Half two, The Bears had hunger, the Cammells bared their resolute humps (randy buggers) and the No 7 for The Laird was immediately on fire and working his arse off weaving here and there with great industry.  Out of the blue a chance came when a cross from nowhere flew and a shot from the most acutest of angles was had and the ball...trickled...just...wide - now that was close. Instantly Cammell Laird attacked again, the No 9 was through!  Shocker, an offside decision, the worst shout of the match, the match remained barren of net bursting thrills. Congleton resorted to a substitution, the dude who entered the fray was lively and won a free-kick from which nothing came but the warning was served.  Despite no goals this was an intriguing affair with many fascinating facets.  The away teams manager was fraught with frustration, he became incensed with several questionable decisions and the referee came over and calmed the situation quite nicely.  The best chance duly followed this tete-a-tete when the Congo Crew attacked, their effective No 17 swooped through and crossed with the open goal aching for a feel of the globe.  The ball was missed from inches out and the game looked destined to be a goalless draw.  Moments later and a simple long ball caught Cammell Laird off balance, a handball came and a red card and penalty were the result.  This was a very cruel decision and if there was any fairness in the match the keeper would have saved.  Alas there are no favours in football and the ball was slapped home by James Pointon - what a spiteful game this can be! The tinsel town brigade began to sing with joy whilst sighing with relief no doubt and one expected Congleton to now go on a rampage.  It didn't happen, the CL unit offered hard resistance and both teams looked for long balls to dissect their opponents back line and perhaps sneak a goal.  Laird just lacked that final composure, Congleton were similar in the final third and when the punctuating whistle blew it was a case of cruelty being the conqueror and fairness well and truly thrown out of the window.  My choice for Man of the Match goes to the No 3 for Cammell Laird (Marcus Stewart) who put in a ruddy good stint, ended up as dirty as a rag and bone man and who epitomised his teams work ethos and overall effort - an unsung effort squire and well done from this end.

FINAL THOUGHT - The Bears may have gone home with the honey and the Cammells returned to their pastures with unfulfilled humps but this was an affair worthy of seeing the spoils shared and not decided on a penalty shout.  Here I shall take a punt and predict that Congleton will  make the top 8 and Cammell Laird will not go down!  Madness or hopeful, come season end I may be deemed a insightful prophet or an over enthusiastic turnip - either way I wish both teams all the best and will carrying on enjoying my non-league football.  By the way, the 12 C's of Christmas were - Congleton, Cammell Laird, Chicken Thighs, Choo Choo Train, Chips, Cha, Chocolate, Cordial, Chinwagging, Cruelty, Carols and Christmas Cretins.  A free bottle of QC sherry if you got all twelve and and spiky bauble up the jacksie if you failed to get any - ooh its a wicked world.