19th August 2017 - Radcliffe Borough 1 v 1 Burscough Town - FA Cup day for the DIY stalwarts and off to Stainton Park we went looking forward to seeing some high octane competition from two fresh and edacious outfits on the prowl for some under the radar success. We arrived in good time so spent an hour in the rain hammered car reading our current tomes 'Papillion' for the missus and 'The Short Stories of Somerset Maugham' for me as well as 'The Secret Life of Flies'. Into the draught we went, paid our dues and indulged in some fine tea. There were no chips on sale (the rotten sods) so I partook of a pasty. It was a good bit of jackbit so I lowered the rating of 'rotten sods' to just 'sods' - very Christian I thought even though I am a self-confessed gay Buddhist (I think). A chat with my good lady wife and a Burscough bod whom we have met several times and whose son was playing between the sticks - a ruddy nice gent and another chip connoisseur - I felt his sorrow when I told him the delicacy was not on sale. An old punk pirate turned up whom I hadn't seen for ages (good to see ya Smurf) and more wags of the jaw were enjoyed with another spiked 'erbert joining the mix. The teams warmed up, left the pitch and returned - and once more I set to scribbling whilst the players set to dribbling.
Radcliffe started patiently and looked mightily controlled and unflustered with a distinct effort to play the early possession game - something they did to great effect. Burscough were scampering and manged to cultivate the first shot when their efficient No 9 (Terry Cummings) ran well and knocked a nice low shot that was only denied triumph by the stretched pegs of the keeper (Ryan Jones). Seconds later the same front bod was in again, once again the lower extremities of the guardian of the mesh denied glory - gotta be fair, two decent blocks there. Pressure was returned as the Rad Lads threw several punts into the box placing their opponents on a worried back foot. A release valve was found via, yes you guessed it, Cummings again, who had a semi-penalty claim turned down at the last - it was worth a shout and could have gone the other way on another day!
The game now settled, no team was having it all their own way with a stunner rattled in by Burscough's No 7 (William Threlkeld) just flying high and Radcliffe's Sherlock finalising a move with a firm nut over the bar. This was a feisty match and I was pondering where the breakthrough would come from when the ball was allowed to ping around the guests' box and the defensive hesitancy brought peril via the feet of Raddy's Sherlock (who else) who saw space, twanged with intent and gave his team a very vital 1 - 0 lead. Well taken squire, well taken. Burscough didn't take this lying down, their response was admirable with the only shortcoming being the fact that they were just one millisecond off the pace of the ball. Radcliffe were comfortable in midfield, something the visitors needed to bear in mind for period 2. The latter end of the opening half was upon us, the Burscough boys had a brace of free-kicks - one against the wall, one hit into the Heavens - wasteful indeed. The price paid was nearly cruelty incarnate when Radcliffe's No 9 (bloody hell I am getting sick of this bugger) found time to release a low shot that was heading toward the corner but was neatly saved - phew. The ref blew soon after, a time to gather thoughts was upon us.
Another cuppa, this time the good lady had a pasty, she rated it highly, and more chits and chats were had.
The ball was soon rolling again, Burscough asking early questions and knocking a few probing balls into their opponents danger area. Radcliffe came on, some quick feet won a corner that was looped in and just nutted over. The other end and a pile-driving shot came, a cross and a miscue from No 8 (Joshua Dunroe) - poor end result but heaps of hope gathered. Radcliffe counter-punched, a well greased move saw an outstretched leg just miss a penetrating cross with a break by No 11 (Franny Barry) following and looking set to seal the result but a fine save was had and the match was still up for grabs. Without time to catch breath Radcliffe came again, their superb No 9 (this is getting silly now) turned with class, streaked away and hoofed in a great cross. Barry connected with a firm volley, the goal of the season thus far was on the cards but the darn ball wouldn't stay down and flew agonisingly over - wow. Another shot the same way soon after but it was straight at the goalkeeper, the heat was definitely rising, the home teams pistons were pumping on full. This was a cracking contest with both teams at it hammer and tongue (dirty bastards) and giving the punters full value for their hard-earned conkers (hard conkers can be a debilitating disease by the way). Once again No 9 of Raddy worked magic and allowed a chance to fall to his colleague who was only thwarted at the last by the keepers digit tips. A strong punt by Burscough's No 14 and a low effort by Rads No 8 made sure this game stayed aflame and all peepers in the ground dared not look away - ooh me pens on fire.
The final stages came, Radcliffe saw a one on one with the keeper end in a shot that flew just wide and then a shot deflected off target came and could easily have been so much more. Again the hosts' No 9 proved troublesome, provided another cross that led to a shot and a solid save - fine action. Next and a foul went Burscough's way, persistence was paying dividends and suddenly the ball was loose, Cummings grabbed it, he stayed calm and focused - bloody hell fire - 1- 1 - what a game. 2 shots came straight back, one saved, one over. 4 minutes left, I was low on nerve pills - a tame shot from the Raddies No 4 (Conor Ready) was dealt with by a very alert keeper - just as well as a winner at this stage would have been utterly unfair. At last the ref decided it was time, applause rang out - for me, and many others, a draw was a just result and good on both teams for providing a fine spectacle. Both teams exhibited many great performances today but throughout one man showed effortless class and was a constant thorn in the oppositions side. No 9 (Kurt Sherlock) of Radcliffe Borough FC played a belter today and was frightfully unlucky not to bag a couple more and offer up a few golden assists. One to watch this fella and all the best to him and he deserves a prize for a cracking name too - elementary in fact!
FINAL THOUGHT - A superb match this with many quality aspects that need highlighting. For one both teams got on with matters, I heard hardly anyone on the park moaning, there was no play acting and there was a resilience and professionalism not to be underestimated. For two, both squads worked like buggery and created a spectacle well worth the gate fee and with an honesty that far outweighs what any of that premier league shite displays. For the hat-trick I would like to mention the atmosphere of the ground itself and the many knowledgeable and friendly bods that were in attendance - it makes a grand difference to the whole escapade. A great day out and even though I am as busy as a bee on overtime, as flustered as one of Bruce Forsyth's syrup makers and as stretched as one of Tom Jones' face-lifts I am sure I can squeeze in time to see these two teams several times more this season - I ruddy hope so!
a cracking afternoons entertainment
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