23rd October 2017 - Maine Road 1 v 4 West Didsbury & Chorlton - Fungus time and I am running myself ragged to keep up to speed with leading walks, identifying species and juggling everyday tasks. Today the computer at home went twang and threw a real rusted spanner in the chugging works and with my carcass still suffering from a nagging anxiety and a backlog of recording, CD reviews and such like, I certainly didn't need this techno-twattery in the mix. Fortunately escapism was on the horizon in the form of a local footy game and so, after a quite constructive day (despite the glitches), me and my good lady turned up at Brantingham Road, purchased tea and chocolate, took up our positions and watched the nights events unfold. I am familiar with these two teams and they get a fair few viewings each season. Again, this was a tough one to call, it is all part of the appeal but I did have a sneaky feeling that the guests had it over the home side of late and the trend may continue. So, as the late October air tried to pilfer away any semblance of warmth and the teams entered the fray to commence battle, we peeled the peepers and I came up with a report as thus.
The 1st round of the Manchester Premier Cup was underway, no sooner had we slurped the last of our Rosie Lee than the home army invaded and the ever zippy No 8 (Matthew Morgan) ran like the clappers and provided a low cool finish to whet the appetite for all in attendance. What a start this was and only several seconds had elapsed before an equaliser was nearly borne when a good save and back-up offside decision thwarted any balancing glory. Within the thrutching of an excited anus No 9 (Luke Heron) of The Road was in with only the keeper to beat. The gloved one sprawled and blocked, it was a solid save and duly led to a WDC counter punch that brought further mittman attention. This was a fizzing commencement with both teams happy to surge with abandon. Gradually the guests started applying a pressure with several crosses flying in, all causing a certain amount of in-box kerfuffle. A corner was eventually won, a nut came in, the goalkeeper blocked and dropped, up pounced No 6 (Anthony Potts) and knocked the ball home to make things all square. The Road reacted, some poor defending allowed Heron to have a stab, the save was reliable and the resultant corner tame. The same team now tried to hustle out some weaknesses in their opponents armoury but the Dids-Men are a sturdy side and were inches away from an equaliser when a cross was zipped in and an outstretched toe was millimetres from making a killing blow. There was a change in the air, gird your loins folks, and any other parts you feel need 'gird'ing!
The action was still high, the hosts put in a cross, it was a replicate move of that which had just occurred down t'other end - again an extra inch on the boot size was needed to grab the ultimate glory. Maine Road now asserted themselves with numerous runs of promise and balls played that saw half chances fail to be converted with a needed Midas touch. The game developed into a rapid tussle, the closest to a goal we came was when MR's mittman cleared poorly and a lob came back that rose high, fell slowly and just dropped shy of the upright. From here the game, as a spectacle, dissolved into a fiasco without direction. There was a mayhem creeping in as both units fought for ascendancy. With seconds left I had this down as a stalemate when a hopeful ball in by the WDC mob saw a pilfering take place and an over-zealous, over-stretched keeper commit a foolish faux-pas with no danger apparent. A spot kick was given and taken, Thomas Bailey remained as cool as a dead man's dick and slotted home - 1 -2 - cripes, that was unexpected. There was now less than two ticks on the time device left but it was enough to see the culpable mittman make another howler with a kick that went AWOL and allowed a deflection to go right back into his net. WTF went on, it was anybodies guess but No 12 (Jonathon Poizer) was given the goal. This was a turn-around for sure and when the referee blew for half time one did wonder how the boys in blue would get back into this.
A piddle, some chocolate and a chat with my best mate about the merits of Edgar Degas and the game so far, we like to keep our noggins fresh tha' knows.
Half two and straight away Thomas Bailey of the guests tried a cheeky chip to further confound a rather troubled keeper. The mittman was alert, stretched and tipped over, good lad. The corner brought no success but it was obvious WDC were after more goals. 3 corners and several shots rained in, the heat was all under the host's arse. Morgan of The Road provided a short respite with a run and cross that was a trifle too high for the in-rushing attacker. The visiting choir though would not be quelled and summoned up many touch-line serenades to warm their cockles and even raise a smile from the opposing ranks. Maine Road needed a miracle, alas it was not to be as the visiting No 7 (Ben Steer) cut in, beat 2 players shot and the ball was hammered home by Bailey again, his second, his team's fourth, game over.
It was all one way traffic now, Maine Road were left to try and pick up the odd morsel and make a surprise comeback cake. They cultivated a rare glimpse of goal, a cross and a close in header was met by a stunning save, it was the night of the black and white army for sure. A settling down period game, Morgan for the Blues had a chance punt. The ball bent and wasn't too far off the mark but a heavy slice of skill, topped with lashing of luck would be needed to turn this into anything palatable for the home team. Tis a pity the lovechild of Charlie George and the Galloping Gourmet Graham Kerr wasn't on the bench - I bet he could have rustled something up! As WDC stood proud and firm (oooh vicar), Maine Road became flaccid and desperate (call the perverted parson please) and the game wound down in tired style. An offside decision against the guests and then a red card for Road's No 10 (Connor Hughes), the final insult and we were done, What a good win for the short distance travellers and, it is there, that I pick my Man of the Match, namely their No 10 (Joe Shaw) who, despite the odd stray pass worked like a warhorse, made many correct decisions and was always in the mix of the action. A subtle but strong performance.
FINAL THOUGHT - A local derby and only one team in it despite an early goal against the grain. Maine Road cut their own throats tonight via the unrestrained blade of the mittman who committed hara-kiri and put his team in the mire. Shit happens like this and the dude of disaster does play a dangerous game at times. Do not sweat lad, dig in, cool the blood and set thy targets on some low-brow, good old fashioned safety first clean sheets - you are better than what happened tonight for sure. West Didsbury and Chorlton are always value for money and play with a good tempo and a well-supported belief. They are always capable of a good cup run and this could be the start of one. Both teams have their destinies in their hands and as Benny Hill once said 'hold yer plums, clench yer bums and have no fear when a challenge comes' - or was it Arnold Ridley of Dad's Army fame? Crikey, this game is really getting to me. Anyway, you get the drift...one hopes!
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