IMBALANCE

1st November 2017 - Cheadle Town 1 v 8 Stockport County - Flashing along with the buttocks ablaze, striving to keep my sanity amidst a whirl of family life, work, fungal walks, gigs and CD reviews amongst other things I was determined to squeeze in the match tonight and get the ball rolling for the November reports.  At the moment the home computer is about as trustworthy as Richard Madeley in a wine shop and in truth, my tits are twitching with ill temperament every time I switch the wired-wrong wanker on.  Alas we make ourselves slaves to technology and although I am trying to 'disconnect' as much as possible, some things can't be done any other way - such as this blog.  So home from work, exercise, a wrestle with the aforementioned box of digital devilry and some scram.  I watched some dross TV, scratched me arse and had a natter with the lasses, and then I was at Park Road, reading a bit of Somerset Maugham and awaiting another episode of the Cheshire Senior Cup.  I shan't go on, the pilot light may go out on the darn computer anytime soon, here is another Fungalised lowdown, I hope my niggling attitude doesn't mar the end output.

No sooner had a mist settled than The County Boys had a swift push with No 3 (Josh Robinson) having a quick punt that wasn't too far wide of the mark - an early warning signal, had the home bods taken note? The response was solid, Cheadle won a corner but it was easily dealt with and Stockport were already proving to be the quicker team with loose balls grabbed, sharp passes made and hassled opponents aplenty.  A goalkeeping blip by Cheadle's last man was overcome but soon after No 11 (Darren Stephenson) displayed good pace and drilled in a driver that was again just shy of the target - it seemed almost a matter of time before the mesh was rippled.  As Cheadle hustled and provided much bluster County's Stephenson ran the wing and crossed.  No 11 (Bohan Dixon) was the recipient and placed the shot with a sweat free brow, 1 up to the guests.  Another County move followed, No 2 (Alex Jackson), No 8 (Harry Brazel) and No 7 (Adam Thomas) combining with the latter chap snap-shooting but not finding end triumph.  Seconds later No 9 (George West) was in, provided a pass that saw Dixon turn and toe poke - the save that followed was crucial.

Cheadle were now slogging their arses off, Stockport looked ready to pounce and did so when a long ball was collared by Thomas who ran through a bunch of bewildered defenders and brought up the second goal of the night - it was all looking too easy.  I had barely finished scribbling my notes when a County corner was swung in and headed out.  Alas for Cheadle a half-volley by Thomas was rifled in, took a deflection and nestled in the net - by heck man, pass me the abacus.  A rare Cheadle corner came next, all heads rose and were missed and an own goal was nearly the result as an outstretched peg knocked the ball the wrong way.  Another angled punt was taken, it was dealt with and a liquid break came, 3 swift passes and crack - we were unlucky not to witness the 4th goal of the night.  A bit of Cheadle jostling saw No 11 (Remeece Brown) break from the pack, this was the time for quick-thinking and a cool head.  The shot that came was bent with pace but was nothing short of shite - oh well, back to square one lads.  A dull period now ensued, the ball though was still rolling one way and when a simple pass from nowhere came and found County's Dixon, he wasted no time and fired home with good technique and clinical precision.  From here Cheadle cultivated a break, Brown showed dazzling tempo in the shanks, he crossed to No 9 (Jake Ambrose) who had more time than he realised.  He shot close in, pass me the tablets of reality - Cheadle had a goal, and well deserved it was.  I was thrilled by this strike back and the excitement resurrected strange voices in my head that told me to frequent the company of the local crooked bookmaker (Harry Bent) and place a £500 wager on a Cheadle comeback.  No sooner had my posterior left the seat to seek out the untrustworthy turf accountant than Stockport flashed in several corners, the latter of which was punched clear but duly fired back by the industrious No 8 (Harry Brazel).  The 5th goal was had, my betting ideas were banished, I was back in the land of reality (and so were tonight's host team).  The ref blew and I went for a gypsies and pondered proceedings - 6 goals for a fiver but far from a decent match, hey ho, one can't have everything.  

I slurped some ginger, chewed on a few Refreshers and tried mighty hard to ignore the damp chill that was hell-bent on molesting my privates - a Jimmy Saville night for sure - crikey 'How's about that then?'

Half two, early action the way of the home army.  A ball into the box, nutted back out but Shaw connected with bonse - what a neat save and the ball was tipped over.  Cheadle were striving to make something competitive arise out of the mire but it was all to no avail when Stockport ran the wing, a cross was flashed in and Dixon slotted home to bag his personal hat-trick and rub salt in Cheadle's many open wounds.  Ambrose for Cheadle wouldn't lie down and die and made a steaming run, played back to his comrade Brown who curled one in - the target was missed but the move held potential.  Another lull now came, the mists gathered, the smell of pies, cannabis and touchline bollocks pervaded the air and it was the visiting tribe who came once more with No 4 (Will Holt)  finalising a move that saw the ball gratefully tipped over the bar.  The pressure was now rising again and out of the night air No 12 (Jordan Peach) of County chased a seemingly lost ball, showed determination and desire to get a cross in and let George West tap home.  7up folks, the team should have been sponsored.

From here stagnancy set in, Cheadle had run themselves ragged, Stockport had let their foot off the pedal but a long diagonal ball and a sharp central pass saw the 8th goal come via the feet of Szymon Czubik, who, on his competitive debut, must surely have been chuffed to bits with this fine bonus.  From here Stockport pushed for another - it didn't come but No 5 (Jordan Downing) had a good volley saved and on the dying breath Cheadle's goalie was quick enough to quell a last minute flurry and keep the scoreline totally...disrespectful.  I watched the ref peep his pea (sexy bastard), the teams leave the pitch and I pootled off out of it.  Man of the Match for me goes to Stockport County's No 8 (Harry Brazel) who showed an undying willingness, a keen alert brain and a hearty desire to be involved for the full 90 minutes, which was rewarded by a goal and some darn decent play - can't fault it.

FINAL THOUGHT - Imbalance - mmm, a 90's punk band and the state of play tonight.  The fact of the matter is that Cheadle Town were out of their depth tonight and got easily pushed aside by a professional team doing their duty.  It wasn't a competitive affair at all and in truth I will be glad to get back to the North West Counties League action soon enough.  Good on the home lads for their efforts though and if they show as much gumption and spirit in the league, a top half finish surely awaits.  Stockport have some eye-catching players, some with good awareness, some with good strength and many with fast feet.  I would be a fool to judge them on this performance and how they will fair in their own division. I am a few rungs down and love it where I dwell but, if the team all work hard, run themselves into the ground during each and every match and maintain their clinical finishing they will be in a very unpredictable shake-up at the end of the campaign.  The fact remains though, whatever level, the football pyramid is a mighty tough place to reside, the wheat will always be separated from the chaff, the idle will be certainly pinpointed in amongst the desirous - think on.