16th November 2017 - Daisy Hill 2 v 8 Padiham FC - It was a day of loose ends today after booking a few days off work to try and clear some dust and get some semblance of order to my forever busy existence. A pile of CD's awaited my assessments, end of year wildlife records needed tidying up and sending, some household chores were done and I squeezed in a bit of exercise so the old carcass didn't seize up. Tonight's match was a Lancashire Challenge Trophy 2nd Round clash with the host team floundering in the basement of the North West Counties First Division and the visitors holding their own in the tough and competitive realms of the Premier League. To avoid any cerebral discombobulation for those of a nervous disposition I feel it important to clarify that Daisy Hill is no sister of Fanny and was certainly destined to be less erotic on this nipple-nobbing November night that separated the sense-laden wheat from the foolhardy chaff. I must also quell any thoughts anyone may have of thinking that Padiham is a form of Irish meat served on the cheap by a red faced sot - you really must concentrate tha' knows and stop these cranial wanderings. Anyway after a shit drive that saw us only just make the game on time me and my lovely wife shivered and surveyed and at the end of matters my trembling mitts cobbled together a match report - it shook itself out and ended up as thus.
A lump of chocolate had turned to an an icy lump and our tootsies were beginning to be tormented by Johnnie Frosts deviant tendrils (Jack was having a night off) when both squads trotted out and located their starting positions. Kick off came, it was the home 'erberts who came straight out of the blocks with a push down the wing, a cross and a sweeping pass home into the net after only 2 minutes on the clock. The surprised striker was No 9 (Jordan Prescott), it was the perfect start for a side who were far from favourites. The visiting team now started to establish some passing sequences, No 3 (Thomas Murphy), No 9 (Adam Bolton) and No 11 (Kenneth Taylor) were particularly eye-catching with good movement exposed. At one point the ball seemed to find the home net after some sharp passing had taken place but, the referee ruled offside and stopped the cosh from falling with any crippling impact. A quick follow up corner came, the ball pinged about and finally found the bonse of No 5 (Cameron Lancaster) - the miss was not expected.
Onwards Padiham strode with No 7 (Joseph Gaven) sending in a dipping shot that was just gathered up by an edgy mittman. The same team advanced once more, No 8 (Sam Adetiloye) had a hopeful crack (oooh sounds like a part of Larry Grayson's physique). The ball was blocked and fell at the feet of No 10 (Dominic Craig) who duly mopped up and leveled the game. A quick corner was had next, Padiham put the ball in and a header out followed. A lay off, a shot blocked and another effort by No 6 (Luke Holden) - crikey mother, the score was now 1 - 2. Daisy Hill nearly brought parity when a free-kick was swung in and a close in header was only denied by a picture perfect save. The move and the goal of the game came next when Taylor of the guests slipped two tackles deep in his own half before rushing forward with gonads ablaze. He covered the full length of the pitch, passed, received, crossed and watched Adetiloye hit a honey sweet shot that dipped over the keeper and just below the bar - what a magical moment. In fact, forget the time Paul Daniels turned his penis into an umbrella or the time when David Nixon made his own nipples disappear and turn up on the back of Charlie Drake's neck - this was a proper moment of mesmeric wonder, marvellous.
Padiham were now becoming dominant in all areas, this was not looking good for the hosts. Another onslaught came, the Daisies were bending in the wind, the rear fell apart and a penalty was the outcome. No 2 (Benjamin Hoskin) stepped up and joined the roll of honour and the Storks now had four eggs in the nest. A brief quell in the action and then Daisy Hill won a crucial tackle and Prescott was suddenly looking down the barrel of a quick response - he took it well, we were now at 2 - 4 and with Padiham getting complacent perhaps another goal may be sneaked in just before the break. Unfortunately it was not to be and although a gloriously sweeping move was had, the end touch was lacking and we greedy neutrals had to make do with a half dozen strikes to keep the cockles warmed.
The tea at half time was ruddy glorious and surely only the pap milk of the Goddess Titterina could equal the soothing liquid wonder. We returned to our positions and the teams came out soon enough, would it be vulgar to ask for more of the same?
Padiham were keen, a swift attack and the globe hit mesh. An offside rule came, it goes without saying the opposing sets of eyes saw matters differently. Daisy Hill now shone, they had urgency and strung together many good passes. Hopes were high but Taylor's quick feet broke down a passage of play and when his colleague picked up a pass and crossed it was Craig who delivered a sickening body blow that must have felt very unjust to the home army. A sucker punch nay, a killer punch, I think this was definitely...game over! The Storks continually pecked, the DH communication was faltering, a saccharine move was cutting but ended on a blunt note - the next goal was on the cards folks. The game duly settled, Daisy Hill were now putting in a good stint but the defenders were having to work up a real lather as probing ball after probing ball came their way. Out of the lull it was the travellers who had a throw in that led to a cross and a header. Yes, you guessed it, the header was on goal and rippled the network, Craig had his hat-trick, the downhill slide of the Daisy Dudes was continuing.
The back stretch, a few corners for The Hill were thwarted and a break away came. It could have been a cruel moment but the chance disappeared into the increasing mist. The cold now crept, Daisy Hill had a lob toward a vacant goal, the ball was off-line. The response was razor-like and a swift move saw the 7th goal come courtesy of the substitute (Daniel Boyle). The reaction off field was minor, it seemed a formality. A late flourish saw No 15 of Padiham have a low late effort tidily saved. When the corner came and was dealt with the pass back in was a scorcher and Adam Bolton finalised the move and nailed the final score as 2 goals to 8. The ref blew, this had been a thumping and Man of the Match for me goes to No 11 (Kenneth Taylor) of Padiham for his ground coverage, elusive feet and some quite dazzling moves that helped his team coast to victory - a proper good stint!
FINAL THOUGHT - The term 'up to your neck in shit' may be applied to Daisy Hill very soon if they don't get their act together and eliminate this aggravating bad run of form. Work needs to be done on organisation and keeping possession of the ball as well as staying tight under pressure. They can resist the downward pull and tonight's match is by and large best ignored and put to one side. There were small glimmers of potential on which to build, will they be spotted, will this team beat the drop? It is all questions folks! Padiham on the other hand are a decent prospect and seem to have some very good players in their mix. The management were constantly talking to them, keeping them disciplined and explaining duties as the game went on - this can make so much difference and all adds to a unity that will put them in good stead. The very best of luck to them and I will hopefully get back up their end soon enough. So, 10 goals, frozen wotsits and late night watching non-league football - many would deem it madness, I say it is supporting a worthwhile sport that never fails to entertain - let's keep doing it folks.
No comments:
Post a Comment