Friday 11 May 2018

LABURNUM FLOWERS WITHERED

9th May 2018 - Atherton Laburnum Rovers 0 v 2 Holker Old Boys - If the season were personified then we were now at the nob-end of the campaign, the part of the long haul were some will squirt onward with success, some will piddle forth and see their efforts out with a good final splash and some will dribble and splutter in an exhausted mockery ready to zip up, tuck away and recharge the motivating knackers. Me and my good lady were squeezing in the final few matches and hoping to not get dribbled on, a good old saturation of flamboyance would be much more preferable and as we headed down to one of our favourite grounds we had no idea what to expect.  Atherton LR were in 16th position, Holker Old Boys were standing at a very respectable 9th, a slot looking very much set in stone. The chance was had for some liberal and expressive football once more, come on lads, let it all hang out and go for it - anything less and a charge of indecent under-exposure will be sent your way - Fungal and his good lady expect!

For such a back end affair the game started in sprightly fashion with both sets of players exuding a sound urgency.  The ALR crew were passing well on a pitch to test the temperament and they duly had the opening attempt on goal after an Old Boys player was robbed, the ball was passed on to No 8 (Dominic Butler) who surged with high octane zeal and shot low with gusto.  The ball skimmed the head off many daisies and went far off the near side stick.  The home lads won a free-kick soon after but the taker, No 7 (Nathan Randall) put too much 'oomph' on the globe and put it way over the horizontal.  The HOB nobs now worked forward, a throw in, a cross by No 6 (Kevin Watkin) and a simple nut home by No 10 (Benedict Rebello) was against the early grain and highlighted some shambolic defending - it was a gift indeed.  ALR woke up, No 10 (David Moore) burst and delivered, the ball in was choice, it was unfortunate for the hosts that it fell at defensive rather than attacking feet.  From this moment of promise the Atherton lads were caught napping again when, from a moment of hesitancy, a long cross ball found a fleeing No 9 (John-Paul Stanway) who duly cracked off a first time effort but missed the target - now that could have been a real killer blow!  Atherton now started to work well, No 6 (Bradley Aspinall) put in a pearling ball that was inches away from a pure connection.  Following on from this the home No 9 (Theodore Kidd) advanced with purpose, wove through 3 players, put in a shot but was denied by a well-stretched mitters legs.  Promising indeed!

The hosts now looked to be carrying the greater threat but when a defensive error was had, a goalkeeping blip followed and the team were lucky not to fall deeper into the karsi of consternation.  The Holker unit had a chance but took too long to pull the chain of assassination and let the host's turds of hope remain afloat.  No 7 (Bradley Hubbold) for the HOB's came next, a pass to Stanway saw an adventurous shot ensue.  Some poor keeping of the mesh gave a corner away from which a cross came and a static defence allowed a tap forth to come - it went wide, The Rovers got off lightly.  A free-kick came for the guests, Stanway blew one over and then the same bod had another hopeful punt, saw the keeper handle the ball like a butter soaked piglet and drop.  The home No 1 (Ben Purdham) was fortunate that no hungry assassins were around, he could have been thoroughly embarrassed.  ALR responded, Moore exhibited good strength and shoulder-charged himself into a position to cross.  The ball in was tidy, somehow a clearance was had, a shame as the effort deserved better.  Some late on work came from the resident No 11 (Ben Giverin) which saw a fantastic and skillful rush result in a brace of angled hoofs.  The first was crapper than a crap thing in Crapsville but the second was a superb delivery that forced the Old Boys to defend with concentrated effort.  This they did and then had to deal with one last boot in that saw confusion rein and No 5 (Aaron Walmsley) for ALR fire in a too relaxed manner and miss the awaiting target - for me that was a real chance but the score remained 0 - 1 and half-time duly followed.

A good match this and whilst contemplating matters we had a cup of cha' and a Kit-Kat to quell the sneaky chill in the air.  The rain now decided to fall and banish any memories of the recent sunny spell, this precipitation didn't dampen any spirits though and the second half began in fine style.

The first action came via some lightning pace of Giverin for Atherton, one wondered if he was being chased by an invisible Jimmy Saville or the manager had inserted some illegal device up the flashing players jacksie during the prolonged break - by heck he was moving.  A cross followed, 2 swipes found fresh air, a defender missed the elusive globe too and when a connection was made the ball flew...yes you guessed it...wide.  ALR dawdled in possession soon after, the Holker chaps put in 2 easy passes that were finished by a feeble effort from No 10 (Benedict Rebello), it wasn't even on target, crikey!  Randall pounced at the other end, the option was taken to pass instead of to shoot, the ball, like the gonads of a frustrated Pavarotti, was too weighted.  The chance disappeared up the rectal passage of 'Unmemorables-Ville' -  a shite place to live, laden with one hit wonders, bit part soap opera stars and a shop selling those polythene underpants that were never 'all-the-rage' back in the winter 1958.  ALR were undeterred by this moment and put together some eye-catching and highly acute passing moves.  One tricky spot was escaped from with such an example of this well-versed work but any hopes were crapped on by that ever-present emblem of Killjoy Heaven, the offside flag.  Despite the hosts growing endeavour and neat movement the guests remained disciplined, efficient and in control, they applied themselves with a marked focus - I like that!

The game advanced. I was enjoying this one.  Atherton broke next, Giverin to Kidd who sent in a dipping shot that just wouldn't drop quick enough.  A free-kick soon came the same way, Butler hammered, the shot was blocked and a HOB break came.  Rebello went on a sweet dash and put in an equally tasty cross which brought about a period of in-box bagatelle - ping, boing, twang - and out.  The guests travelled forth again, a muscular burst from No 14 saw a ball go to Stanway who turned quickly and shot only inches wide.  The home side responded, a cross from Giverin hit a crust but the nut on was straight at the keeper - a shame.  The rain now increased, we went down the back stretch, Atherton pushed, a zipping cross went in and the keeper parried.  A corner saw a nut on the line get blocked and soon after No 6 (Bradley Aspinall) hit a delectable shot that rattled the bar and brought gasps and groans from many a punter.  A free-kick forced the visiting mittman to produce a stunning save and another effort was again blocked by a very watertight Holker squad.  A late angled kick saw all heads miss the globe and the Old Boys break with a 3 pass sequence and their sub just fail to clatter home.  The game looked done, a late free-kick came the way of the travellers, No 7 (Bradley Hubbold) decided to take a chance and struck quite sweetly.  The lead was doubled, it looked too easy and was a real cruel kick in the goolies for the ALR lads - tis a bugger this game we love.  Soon after, the game was called to a halt, the points had been grabbed and taken 'oop North', for sheer stubborness and organisation the Old Boys derserved it but my Man of the Match goes to the home No 11 (Ben Giverin) who really caught my eye with his quick thinking, zested runs and abundance of skilful touches - a great performance depsite being on the losing side - better luck next time.

FINAL THOUGHT - Tonight may have been a match for no real prize, a mere latter end encounter that saw 2 squads go at it with admirable gusto and play out a match that I thought was thoroughly enjoyable.  Atherton Laburnum Rovers, despite losing by 2 goals, impressed me in many ways with their sharp interplay, quick movement and individual pace.  One or two players shone bright, the only flaw in the armoury is the last-minute decision making and the need for a killer ruthlessness when in the final third - something to chew on in the closed season and next year I hope better things come their way - I can't see why not!  Holker Old Boys have had a decent campaign and it is plain to see why this has been.  By crikey they are a tough nut to crack, one would find it easier to turn Charlton Heston gay or indeed get Lester Piggott to part with a fiver rather than breakdown the team tonight.  They are a unit, a group of players who work as one and put in a steady and reliable stint.  For me, a bit of extra flair here and there and the league could be their oyster - they could surely be in the play-off shake up next year and that would be some achievement.  They have a pleasing set-up at their ground, methinks I am due back - get the kettle on chaps!

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