9th February 2019 - Cheadle Heath Nomads 1 v 3 Sandbach Utd - Today's game looked like a stunner, a real tight tussle between two strengthened teams looking to finish the season with a flourish - I was intrigued. The day started with a roam at Fletcher Moss, enjoying the bracing breeze and of course, the wildlife. I am offside at the mo but that is no reason to sit still - I saw many birds and a few other bits and pieces - work on the new book is incessant, one has to keep up. Half a chicken was consumed for dinner whilst watching 'Rising Damp' - the pains in the privates may not be prostatitis or kidneys stones after all and maybe my 'Damp' is 'Rising' - ooh Rigsby! After catching up with the wildlife notes I got my act together and wandered out. The missus was off having here eyes checked (I am sure my nob isn't that small) and doing a spot of shopping - I hope I get a treat! I walked down to the ground with my neighbour Sue who was taking her dog for a walk. She had recently dyed her hair and looked like a female Jimmy Saville, her dog also had a hard on - I think she needs to check the hormone levels in her water supply - quite shocking! Arriving at the ground and salutations to many fine folk were had, STP Stu was in attendance and after chits and chats we took up our positions for the days entertainment. It was mighty grand to catch up again with John McClure - the guy is a keen footballing supporter, runs 'Your Football Page' on Facebook and is a gent - a nice bonus! Today I was expectant, my prediction was made - some things I must keep secretive to spare any blushes (I made sure my trousers were done up tight too).
The game progressed, Cheadle kept rushing matters and played with fire at the back with Sandbach keen but just lacking a sharpness at the killer end. A bout of Nomadic pressure saw Tindall nip in between two rear bods but the touch that came could only find the awaiting mitter. From here half-chances came at each end with both benches becoming increasingly frustrated. The Nomad football coach, David Potter (complete with new boot boy haircut) was looking stressed, the cheap wine I saw him slurping before the match wasn't working - stay calm lad, stay calm and remember - QC Sherry, £5.99 a bottle from most corrupt retailers or back-street porn shops! The last 5 minutes of the half were hectic, but composure and control were rare commodities and the goal mouths, like the rear end of Pope John Paul the 3rd, remained unpenetrated (see you in court). Sandbach did come on strong but the hosts showed that their survival manual had been well thumbed and they hung on to the break to go in all square.
Half-time and a brew and Mars Bar and shock, horror, news had come through that Neville Pearson (Cheadle Heath Club Secretary) had escaped from his wooden cage and was on the prowl with a reason to waffle. Thankfully one quick-thinking bloke had attended the match with a butterfly net and after a brief Benny-Hill style chase Mr Pearson was bagged and put back in his timber prison - and serve him right, he called out the wrong number for the Raffle and left me prizeless - ooh the corrupt rotter!
Half-two, long ball by Sandbach, No 9 (Josh Lane) on it - the shot was not even close. The Nomads came back with 2 corners that brought no return and then, as a train went by that was the length of Sammy Davis' todger, Sandbach advanced with No 11 (Kieran Garner-Knapper) at the apex. The ball was blasted wide but I was so intrigued that as I looked on and finished my Mars Bar I ended up ingesting a piece of the wrapper and nearly choked to death - cripes. As Sandbach thrust again, they were caught on the hop by a fleet-footed counter. Herbert was involved and executed a lovely touch with Tindall bungled to the floor and a free-kick earned. Graham took the kick, a strike came, the near post was just missed. As the game continued one observer classed matters as 'shite', I tried to remain more upbeat and as another free-kick for the home lads went over the bar I did wonder if we were headed for a goalless draw!
The close affair became a gamblers nightmare, Lane for the guests tried to make a breakthrough. In a forward position he went one way, then the other, shot too late and a blockage came. A corner next, No 12 (Aidan Houghton) close in - over. Suddenly the Heath Army were on it, No 7 (Jack Warren) went on a storming run, released at the right time and up stepped Tindall to do what he does best and guide the ball homeward - Cheadle Heath Nomads needed it, the game needed it, the onlookers needed it - game on for sure. Subs came, the hosts tails were up, but Sandbach were pushing with greater passion and many balls came into the box all contributing to a rising pressure. Two shots followed, the crust of No 11 (Stephen Kirby) and No 3 (Adam Stuart) got in the way as Cheadle Heath got pulled one way and another and were in need of a calming moment. Suddenly another free-kick came, it was a soft kick and a head went up and the ball ended up in the net - what the bloody hell went on there? Sadly it was an own goal, No 4 (Zac Tyson) was utterly unlucky - chin up lad, shit happens.
We now entered the last 10 minutes, Herbert had the ball for the resident pack, an attempt at a crossfield ball went all awry and actually went backwards. An opposing player collected and headed forth on goal. Haughton was the man at the helm, he stayed cool, eyed his spot and put one past the keeper to surprisingly bag the lead. Cruelty and quality had copulated and given birth to a spiteful bastard who had punched the home lads in the vulnerable conkers - darn the vulgarity of the footballing fanny. From here Sandbach marauded with renewed belief, a free-kick came from an innocuous position with Buckley knocking a gorgeous ball across the park for Cain who cut in, beat his marker, fired with zeal and signed, sealed and delivered with a solid strike. It was an unexpected turn and during the closing flickers both No 10's had further shots but the final blow of the whistle came and somehow this game had produced 4 goals and the home lads were beat. For me the game had been 50/50 throughout but if you take your chances the cookie will always crumble your way. Man of the match goes to Sandbach United's No 5 (Kris Stockton) for a solid performance that was quiet but efficient, without flamboyance but very controlled. It is good to have a reliable lynchpin at the back - this was a tidy do and gave little in the way of opportunity for the battling opponents. Farewells, a quick piss and home - you can't beat these days out.
FINAL THOUGHT - Well, please explain if you can how this ended up 1 -3 besides the fact that the home team scored one and the visitors bagged a trio of strikes. In retrospect it was a messy game with very little in it and the deciding factor was a bit of luck and the taking of the few opportunities that arose. I always enjoy my trips to this ground, the staff are darn friendly folk, the team give 100% and there is a fine camaraderie that will, given time, pay huge dividends. For me, the team's biggest mistake today was rushing matters when there was no need and failing to settle down and make their move with focused decisiveness - there also seemed to be less communication than usual - a facet that is always a must. Sandbach Utd are a solid outfit, not to be taken lightly and today, even though they were held in check in the main and failed to generate a true spark, they still manged to get the win and progress further into this First Division Cup. That is the sign of a very good team and if one cares to look at the league one can see that they are still very much in the mix there too. These two teams meet again in a few weeks, that one will be another touch and go affair and I reckon could go either way. There were many things to learn from today's game, the question is - who will be doing their homework? Get your studious heads on lads or the cane will be brandished - ouch!
The fresh air blew, the game began, the team to
gain the first foothold was the hosts who passed with care and looked to get
some feel of the ball. Both teams though looked fairly unsettled and were
guilty of rushing matters - a crime all too often committed. The first
real chance came when the home No 10 (Kieran Herbert) hurtled down the flank,
sent in a low fizzing cross that no doubt scorched the arses of a few
unsuspecting slugs. The ball was met by No 9 (Richard Tindall) who failed
to get close to the target - disappointing. The promise was there though
but Sandbach eventually acclimatised to the task and came on with No 10 (Harry
Cain) a repetitive menace and nearly having several chances to shoot but
remaining a little trigger shy. As Cheadle looked to build the ball was
given away, No 8 (William Buckley) was the beneficiary and raced forth and let
fly. The home No 1 (Aaron Tyrer) did enough and conceded a corner rather
than a goal. The angle hoof came, the ball went out, Herbert for the
hosts bust a bollock to help kill the peril - good work that man. From
here a lot of hustling and hollering came but alas no end product. A
stunning move from the hosts brought high hopes, No 8 (Isaac Graham) was the
integral playmaker and made a sound pass, received, knocked out a tidy ball for
No 2 (Craig Coates) to duly cross. The defending pack held firm and the
resultant corner was cleared without fuss.
The game progressed, Cheadle kept rushing matters and played with fire at the back with Sandbach keen but just lacking a sharpness at the killer end. A bout of Nomadic pressure saw Tindall nip in between two rear bods but the touch that came could only find the awaiting mitter. From here half-chances came at each end with both benches becoming increasingly frustrated. The Nomad football coach, David Potter (complete with new boot boy haircut) was looking stressed, the cheap wine I saw him slurping before the match wasn't working - stay calm lad, stay calm and remember - QC Sherry, £5.99 a bottle from most corrupt retailers or back-street porn shops! The last 5 minutes of the half were hectic, but composure and control were rare commodities and the goal mouths, like the rear end of Pope John Paul the 3rd, remained unpenetrated (see you in court). Sandbach did come on strong but the hosts showed that their survival manual had been well thumbed and they hung on to the break to go in all square.
Half-time and a brew and Mars Bar and shock, horror, news had come through that Neville Pearson (Cheadle Heath Club Secretary) had escaped from his wooden cage and was on the prowl with a reason to waffle. Thankfully one quick-thinking bloke had attended the match with a butterfly net and after a brief Benny-Hill style chase Mr Pearson was bagged and put back in his timber prison - and serve him right, he called out the wrong number for the Raffle and left me prizeless - ooh the corrupt rotter!
Half-two, long ball by Sandbach, No 9 (Josh Lane) on it - the shot was not even close. The Nomads came back with 2 corners that brought no return and then, as a train went by that was the length of Sammy Davis' todger, Sandbach advanced with No 11 (Kieran Garner-Knapper) at the apex. The ball was blasted wide but I was so intrigued that as I looked on and finished my Mars Bar I ended up ingesting a piece of the wrapper and nearly choked to death - cripes. As Sandbach thrust again, they were caught on the hop by a fleet-footed counter. Herbert was involved and executed a lovely touch with Tindall bungled to the floor and a free-kick earned. Graham took the kick, a strike came, the near post was just missed. As the game continued one observer classed matters as 'shite', I tried to remain more upbeat and as another free-kick for the home lads went over the bar I did wonder if we were headed for a goalless draw!
The close affair became a gamblers nightmare, Lane for the guests tried to make a breakthrough. In a forward position he went one way, then the other, shot too late and a blockage came. A corner next, No 12 (Aidan Houghton) close in - over. Suddenly the Heath Army were on it, No 7 (Jack Warren) went on a storming run, released at the right time and up stepped Tindall to do what he does best and guide the ball homeward - Cheadle Heath Nomads needed it, the game needed it, the onlookers needed it - game on for sure. Subs came, the hosts tails were up, but Sandbach were pushing with greater passion and many balls came into the box all contributing to a rising pressure. Two shots followed, the crust of No 11 (Stephen Kirby) and No 3 (Adam Stuart) got in the way as Cheadle Heath got pulled one way and another and were in need of a calming moment. Suddenly another free-kick came, it was a soft kick and a head went up and the ball ended up in the net - what the bloody hell went on there? Sadly it was an own goal, No 4 (Zac Tyson) was utterly unlucky - chin up lad, shit happens.
We now entered the last 10 minutes, Herbert had the ball for the resident pack, an attempt at a crossfield ball went all awry and actually went backwards. An opposing player collected and headed forth on goal. Haughton was the man at the helm, he stayed cool, eyed his spot and put one past the keeper to surprisingly bag the lead. Cruelty and quality had copulated and given birth to a spiteful bastard who had punched the home lads in the vulnerable conkers - darn the vulgarity of the footballing fanny. From here Sandbach marauded with renewed belief, a free-kick came from an innocuous position with Buckley knocking a gorgeous ball across the park for Cain who cut in, beat his marker, fired with zeal and signed, sealed and delivered with a solid strike. It was an unexpected turn and during the closing flickers both No 10's had further shots but the final blow of the whistle came and somehow this game had produced 4 goals and the home lads were beat. For me the game had been 50/50 throughout but if you take your chances the cookie will always crumble your way. Man of the match goes to Sandbach United's No 5 (Kris Stockton) for a solid performance that was quiet but efficient, without flamboyance but very controlled. It is good to have a reliable lynchpin at the back - this was a tidy do and gave little in the way of opportunity for the battling opponents. Farewells, a quick piss and home - you can't beat these days out.
FINAL THOUGHT - Well, please explain if you can how this ended up 1 -3 besides the fact that the home team scored one and the visitors bagged a trio of strikes. In retrospect it was a messy game with very little in it and the deciding factor was a bit of luck and the taking of the few opportunities that arose. I always enjoy my trips to this ground, the staff are darn friendly folk, the team give 100% and there is a fine camaraderie that will, given time, pay huge dividends. For me, the team's biggest mistake today was rushing matters when there was no need and failing to settle down and make their move with focused decisiveness - there also seemed to be less communication than usual - a facet that is always a must. Sandbach Utd are a solid outfit, not to be taken lightly and today, even though they were held in check in the main and failed to generate a true spark, they still manged to get the win and progress further into this First Division Cup. That is the sign of a very good team and if one cares to look at the league one can see that they are still very much in the mix there too. These two teams meet again in a few weeks, that one will be another touch and go affair and I reckon could go either way. There were many things to learn from today's game, the question is - who will be doing their homework? Get your studious heads on lads or the cane will be brandished - ouch!
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