HEY 'O', LET'S GO

12th November 2019 - Abbey Hey 1 v 1 FC Oswestry - A North West First Division top of the table clash with emphasis really on each team to go at it and secure the 3 point prize.  Abbey Hey had the greatest need, they were 11 points behind their opponents, if they could snatch this one then we would really have a contest to savour.  Today I had had a drenching on my way to work, had been busy during the toiling hours and after returning home had a session on the punchbag and then read the latest installment of a take on the Frankenstein tale.  Since a nipper I have been intrigued by Mary Shelley's famed yarn and all its resultant creations be they on paper or celluloid. Pondering this tragic saga I got to thinking about what parts one would use if they were to create the perfect footballer - tis a topic for debate that is for sure.  The footballing brain of Johann Cruyff; the feet of George Best; the balance of Diego Maradonna; the shot power of Roberto Carlos; the tough determination of Tommy Smith, the hands of Dino Zoff, the barnet of George Berry and of course, the temperament and attitude of Pele.  Throw in the pot-belly of Franny Lee, the fat arse of Willie Foulke and flair of Nobby Nobson and surely a true cut and paste player is complete - feel free to design your own!

And so, at just gone 7pm we arrived at The Abbey Stadium, had a natter in the car and decided to enter the ground 20 minutes prior to the match.  We had a warm drink and picked our usual spot where we chatted with John D and the Dad of the Abbey Hey keeper who pops up here and there on the trail of his son's roamings.  A draw was a likely result tonight, a home win could happen, an away win would be no surprise, one thing was certain, Abbey Hey Pete had been on some industrial glue and was absolutely steaming - good lad!

The game began with the 'O's gaining a quick free kick that was delivered with decent velocity and nutted over with equal tempo.  No 7 (Jake Dunford) for The Hey had a sortie and dig soon after with the guest keeper unruffled and tidily saving.  The hosts started to play some rather slick football however the game was a somewhat patchy affair in general and left one a trifle uninspired.  Suddenly out of the drabness No 2 (Joseph Neild) for the home pack found time to advance and consider a thump at goal.  The ball kindly sat up, the leg swung with certainty, the strike was true and the diving keeper was sweetly beaten - the game needed this, it was a very choice strike for sure.

As time progressed the leading team remained on top whilst the guests just didn't seem with it.  The travellers eventually managed to earn a free-kick that entered the box with pace but it was punched clear with determined gusto.  A lob came back as the keeper tried to regain position, it looked to be dropping in, thankfully Neild was there to clear the chaos.  The Oswestry ranks now decided to work forth, another gratis kick was lumped into the box, the lofty No 5 (Steven Evans) nutted back at the far post, the ball went across the face of goal but no potential assassins were to be seen.  The same team came again, a long ball this time that was flicked on allowing the ever-energetic No 7 (Harry Bower) to nip in and side-foot wide - the offside flag quelled any potential excitement.

We progressed into the latter stages of the half, Abbey Hey put together a sound sequence of passes with their No 11 (Daryll Grant) a integral component in the move.  The attack eventually broke down, a break followed with Grant guilty of a push therefore giving away another free-kick.  The ball was booted, the keepers hands were adhesive and Hey started to build once more.  Several corners ensued, half-chances to grab a second goal came and went as the triggers were left unpulled, we went into the break at 1 - 0 and in truth, far from exhilarated.

We stayed put for the break, had a natter with Pete and John and discussed the in's and out's of the footballing world.  Pete then started shooting heroin and John brought out his crack pipe - me and the missus stuck to our moralistic stance and stayed on the Acid and Mushroom cocktail - we do have standards.  Eventually, after the purple spotted pixies had left the pitch on the back of their lime green jelly camels the whole world tilted back to setting 'normal' and the game got back underway.

The start to the second period was industrious but the conveyor belt of footballing construction refused to deliver any finished products.  One or two late tackles were the spanners tossed into the clanking works, it all contributed to a rather unattractive spectacle.  At long last the Abbey Army broke with precision, pace and passion, Grant posted a choice delivery, No 9 (Szymon Czubik) arrived and put in a close-in header, the save was of elevated quality to say the least and maybe the highpoint of the game so far.

The game dissolved soon after with peppered tackles and salted silliness knocking the stuffing out of the fluidity.  Pushing, shoving, late lunges and a couple of players sent off, the referee was losing a little order and needed to get this one back on track.  Eventually, from the confounding crappery The 'O's won a free-kick.  The ball came and was cleared, we entered another stagnant period before Bower for the guests had a fair pop on target that was well-dealt with by the alert mitter.

Into the tail end, Oswestry pushed but Abbey Hey looked comfortable.  2 free-kicks from an acute angle were delivered, the hosts snuffed the threats and then their No 16 (Remeece Brown) had a wild shot on target that went up and over the bar and into the sable night beyond - it could have been the killer blow, it wasn't, what more could I have expected?  We now entered added time, I put my notepad away, I immediately got it back out as a long Oswestry ball came, Evans nutted on and No 8 (Scott Bright) was unceremoniously upended.  The penalty was a sting in the tail, up stepped No 10 (Christian Sargeant) and slapped home with cool aplomb - the hosts looked a trifle miffed. The closing seconds saw a penalty claim the other end, much fluster but no further breakthrough - all square it was, Man of the Match goes to Abbey Hey's No 11 (Daryll Grant) for being the eternal live-wire, holding good threat throughout and working up a good lather in a game that had very little in it.  This hadn't been a classic though, we headed homeward cold and a bit deflated - it happens.

FINAL THOUGHTS - From a fractured match we saw two teams grind each other down and make for a touch and go spectacle that saw little in the way of high end action.  FC Oswestry are a funny team, they play in such a way as to just get the job done although tonight they were fortunate to scrape a draw.  They did get something out of the game though which shows a side, when not playing at their best, still managing to salvage something from the debris.  For me, this attribute is one that could signify true champions and although I am still not convinced, they keep doing what they do and are topping the table - one cannot argue with that!   Abbey Hey are a better equipped side than last season and seem to be capable of holding their own with most teams.  Again, on this evidence, they are hard to judge and in such a competitive league they will have to finish games as soon as they get the chance if they want to be in the end mix up.  No doubt I'll catch both these units along the way in yet another absorbing campaign, I hope they are involved in a more entertaining match for sure and I hope the Jelly Camels are of a soft pastel pink next time so as to nicely contrast with the chattering community of verdant grass - oh the flashbacks!