Sunday 15 March 2020

LAST GASP GRAB

4th March 2020 - Stone Old Alleynians 2 v 1 Wythenshawe Amateurs - Plans were scuppered today due to the greatly puffed up virus-induced mania - apparently it brings about maniacal moments of misjudgement, greed and downright selfishness - ooh sounds ghastly.  Tis the old folk and struggling I feel sorry for but hey it doesn't take much for the human race to show its true colours.  So, rather than stop in, stew in a self-created survival mode me and the good lady went out and did the best thing possible - breathed in the great fresh air, counted and recorded many birds, blooms and fungi and had a darn good morning.  Doxey Marshes and Aqualate Mere saw us wander, become absorbed and only meet a handful of folk - wonderful it was and don't fret, if we needed to pass the Mother Load there were leaves aplenty to use and for to keep our hands clean the only hand gel we needed was made up of soil and the dew on the grass - perfect!

So, a good morning had and after a short drive we were in the car park of Wellbeing Park, chomping on our dinner and looking forward to a good bout of footballing action.  We were slightly jaded but the scram picked us up and upon entering the ground a good cup of tea completed the rejuvenating process.  Eventually we made our way to the viewing point, paid our dues and watched developments unfold.  It was a busy day today as I had organised a good old DIY gig after this at The Station Hotel in Ashton-U-Lyne - a band called the Yoghurt Weavers were opening so I needed to be there early to chivvy them along, by heck they are a band to test a saint's patience but they are worth it (he says unsurely).  Anyway, here is what went on during another intriguing 90 minutes and before you ask - all words are virus free and utterly sanitized (well almost).

On our plates of expectancy we were initially served up an eager start played out on a squelching filth liable to dirty the most rough and ready of kits.  Stone were indulging in the art of passing whilst the Ammies soaked and considered.  A break for the guests eventually came, No 5 (Arthur Okonkwo) led the way, No 3 (Brandon Byers-Wilkes) was at the apex and with options lacking decided to chance his shank.  The ball left boot and took the slightest of deflections that saw it rise and loop over the keeper and hit the back of the net after kissing the underside of the bar.  It was a decent strike and certainly lit the touch-paper for a game very much destined to be a touch and go drama.

Stone worked hard to maintain possession of the globe and occasionally brandished threat but throughout the intriguing exchanges it was the guests who always seemed more pote
nt when in a position of danger.  The game almost became a chess match with tactical decisions snuffed out, attempts at sneaky moves negated and any real bishop-bashing action duly quelled.  Shots on goal became a rare commodity, a bit like arse-paper in your local shops folks or indeed the chance of any truth spilling from Boris Johnson's lips - the big daft twat!  No 10 (Ryan Briody) for the Ammies had a thump over and his opposite number (Jacob Lovatt) sent in a sneaking wriggler which the visiting keeper did well to turn around his upright - other than that, we were duly being starved of anal-squeezing sensations.


We progressed with pace through the first period, eventually a chance for the hosts came after No 6 (Julius Ndene) knocked a long ball forth, the Wythy No 4 (Thomas Horner) left it and in nipped Lovatt to have a strike on goal.   The attempt lacked real zing and direction, the man between the vertical punched away with relative ease.

The latter stages saw a scintillating move by Stone get negated at the last when the over-zealous Lovatt wandered offside and then a free-kick came the same way but No 8's (William Bailey) contact with the pate could only send the ball over the bar - I think we all needed a brew.

The cuppa went down a treat and with a mouth-watering second half to savour we took up our positions and considered.  As things stood it seemed as though the visiting tribe were in control but, nothing is ever finalised until the overweight dame vibrates her larynx - she be a big bellowing blighter of an untrustable nature thus we are all left...wondering!

The SOA pack came out with urgency, a shot soon came via their No 3 (David Ablewhite) but it was deflected wide and the corner was dealt with by a very solid rear rank.  The Ammies battled back, the half raced on with the guests doing a very decent job of staying trouble free.  The next shot at the framework of success came for the leading team.  No 11 (Ross Aikenhead) was freed and duly unleashed but a defensive bod took the main sting out of the globe and the keeper gathered with tangible relief.  Seconds later a Wythy free-kick was earned with the delivery nutted goalward but lacking any signs of severity thus letting the mittman do his bit.

For a certain period the hosts started to turn the screw and pushed the ball around with purpose and the hope of cultivating an opportunity.  The odd shot came, Wythenshawe Amateurs looked impermeable but the pack in deficit were playing right up to the wire.  We hit the tail end of the battle, the clock ticked down and we arrived at the 90 minute deadline.  From much bluster a ball for Stone came and entered the guest's box.  Indecision seemed to take hold of the defending pack, the home No 12 (Matthew Thomas) suddenly found himself in possession and had a punt - it seemed almost insulting that the travellers had been denied a victory as the ball was walloped into the net.  A red card was issued to a Wythenshawe player for dissent as well, what a twist of cruelty this was.

We now played out the last seconds, it seemed that was that until a long ball found the Stone No 15 (James Griffiths) in space.  Composure was kept, a defender negotiated and when ball left foot it duly found the bottom corner of the net and finalised this game on a real unexpected note.  The whistle went soon after, one team erupted with joy, the other became frayed and a few ill-tempers came to the fore.  Note was made of the Wythenshawe Amateurs captain (Arron Hevingham) who kept a cool head and ordered his players to walk away - good work that man.  The opposing emotions were understandable, the last blasts had been a real turn-around and resulted in a high-flying team able to retain their lofty heights.  As some recompense to the losers though the Man of the Match today goes to Wythenshawe Amateurs No 11 (Ross Aikenhead) who was a real stand-out player with many choice touches, a great work rate and a persistent pain in the proverbials for the home ranks - how on earth he ended up on the losing team is still beyond me.

FINAL THOUGHTS - A good game was witnessed today, one that was a very close contest with the final throes deciding matters in the most capricious style.  Wythenshawe Amateurs came and did a good job on their opponents, they grabbed the early goal and stuck to a fine game plan that nearly resulted in a perfect away victory.  The fact is though, at only 1 goal up, nothing is ever sure and the WA pack need to make sure they finish the game when they get the chance - today, not having the true killer's streak, certainly cost them dear.  Stone Old Alleynians didn't look like a promotion-bound team and they were kept in check for most of the game but, and it is a very big but at that (not as big as the butt of Alan Brazil but that's a different story) the lads hung on, battled to the last and snatched a late victory from a seemingly hopeless position.  This can be a sincere uplift to take them through the final stages of the campaign and get them over the finishing line.  There is work to do though, there are a couple of teams with their hooters up their arses and now is not the time to take the foot off the gas but to expel it from their rear ends and blow themselves forward to the next level - only the closing stages of the season will tell us if they have got what it takes - exciting isn't it!

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