20th June 2021 - Home Bargains FC 4 v 3 Pineapple FC - An early start and a walk down the Liverpool Loop Line recording a few wildlife species and stretching the legs. The short walk resulted in 55 species input onto the National Databases - not bad for a swift hour. Back to today's footy at Sandfield Park where we met up with STP Stu. The bar was closed so our positions were chosen with the sun beaming and a few fine gents, who had originally set up the home team, nattered with. Every time one comes to this neck of the woods one can't help but admire the many amiable folk there are as well as some real Non-League Doofers. Eventually the Pineapple Manager came over and handed me the teamsheets (cheers mate) and the home lot cobbled together a list for me to do a report - by heck that was hard work. The game kicked-off at 11.30am on the rather dubious dot and I began to scribble about a game that was a fine example of DIY kicking.
The action was immediate with the Chunky Men up with the lark and having a ruddy good go at matters. An early corner was won, the delivery was decent, No 7 (Leon Arnasalam) had a pop and a deflection left the keeper rooted to the spot. Luckily for the man between the timber, the ball went wide and the corner was like the loins of a castrated monk and produced bugger all. A free-kick soon came the same way, Arnasalam fed No 11 whose punt at the strike zone went stray. This was still a bold start though.
The Pineapple pack continued to push. A brace of corners were defended via the smooth cranium of the home No 8 whose name I didn't get although I did learn he had popped round his mum's the night before to have a bath so as to soothe his aching back. I was informed his own waterworks were out of order - maybe he needs a plumber or his foreskin loosening - who knows?
The hosts were playing with prickles and a puncturing eventually came when the fruity fellows squeezed out another onslaught that saw a cross come and No 2 (Ben Rosenbay) post home at the back post. A well deserved lead and from here the action came thick and fast.
The Home Bargains eventually warmed to the task at hand. A shot caused no concern, then a dream pass by No 20 (Joe Evans) found No 4 (Billy Mason) who thumped a first time shot that was unlucky not to level matters. It seemed as though the resident ranks were looking likely to grab an equaliser but it was not so. The yellow-clad visitors raced forth, they passed and pushed, space arrived for No 11 who chanced his shank and saw the ball squeeze beneath the mittman who really should have done better. It was now 0 -2, there could be no gripes with the scoreline so far, the visitors were good value for money.
Now HB pressed. A choice ball saw No 9 (Dec Daniels) receive and cross with No 11's (Will Dunne) end shot whistling over the bar. The same team were soon swooping again. Daniels was in a position to test the keeper. Instead of shooting the striker unselfishly laid the ball on a plate for Billy Mason to thwack home. Somehow the mitter was given time to recover and a save was had. The home bench were far from happy with the outcome. Soon after the same frontman had another chance to bury, this time it brought shouts of 'handball' and 'get that fucker off' as the chance was lost - the sheepish smile from the striker said it all.
The game continued to exhibit plenty of animation and excitement with Daniels for the hosts coming close with a good shot on the turn that the gloved guardian did well to deal with. A ruckus followed, head to head contact, a second rate Kung Fu kick, several handbags swung and a lot of verbals came - the referee did mighty well to quell matters.
On the game went, the guests had a corner, Joe Evans arrived to put his swede on the sphere only to miss the strike zone. The half began to wind down, the home team pressed with a shot at goal that saw The Chunks No 21 (Ishmael Banks) block on the line and duly get sent off. The double whammy came when Daniels stroked home the penalty on the stroke of the break - 1 - 2 - there was still ample life in this game that was for sure.
The break was spent nipping to the bar, acquiring some cooling drinks and crisps and returning to the opposite side of the pitch - the iced orange and shade were a welcome respite.
Half-two soon commenced. With the leading team now down to 10 men it was a surprise to see them start quickly and create a move that saw Arnasalam's shot get neatly tipped over. The angled hoof came and went before a settled period followed. As the initial minutes of the half unfolded it was apparent that the HB squad could sense a way back into this one but then, from nothing, the Pineapple progressed and No 11 nipped in and made it 1 - 3 from an apparent danger-free situation. Now then, what is going on here?
The Pines looked hungry for more, played some good football and displayed some above average movement. Despite this tidal flow the hosts had the next two chances and started to adopt the role of King Canute with a little more success than the said cracked ruler. A dipping shot almost grazed the horizontal and a low shot was closer than first deemed and then a ball was put into the box, a touch on came and up popped No 15 (Peter Mason) to prod around the keeper and get the deficit back to just one goal.
Now the hosts had their peckers up (I do hope they dipped them in sun-cream first though, there is nothing worse than a blistered bell). A chance arose, a Pines defender put in a superb block to quell any threat but more marauding movement came with a long ball coming and Daniels providing a touch header to get this game all square. I was struggling to maintain my notes here, too much was happening and the nib started to glow (the end of my pen was looking pretty hot too).
The local bookmakers now altered their odds, old Oily Joe, the greasiest turf accountant in the west, took down his boards and ran for the nearest cash point, this was now anyone's game. The restart came, a free-kick for the visitors was awarded. Arnasalam eyed matters up, swung the peg and watched the keeper grab, drop and reclaim. From this slight scare the hosts galloped forth with purpose. Will Dunne was in the corner, put in a lovely move and cross that was duly buried by No 14 (James Hammill) who brought great joy to his teammates and supporters with a quality laden goal. How the buggery had this lot got their noses in front?
The game raced by now, HB's No 3 (Francis Foy) let go a volley that was sliced over and Arnasalam had a pop go wide at the other end which was a shame due to the fact that if any player deserved a goal it was this dude. Before the final rattle of the pea Dunne for the home 'erberts had a dig that was neatly saved and then the same player put in a dipping free-kick that went mighty close indeed but couldn't add to the games scoring tally. The referee blew soon after, this had been a bout of solid entertainment with man of the Match going to Home Bargain's No 9 (Dec Daniels) for a strong session of soccerised doofing with awareness, movement and space making ability the major contributing factors to the end choice.
We beetled off home afterward and I went and trimmed the Mother-in-Law's bush (now, now gentlemen) whilst my good lady did her filial duty - she is a lovely lady. This had been a good jaunt out again though and one we shall repeat next season - the list just gets longer.
FINAL THOUGHTS - a game catching up with fine friendly folk doing things for the right reasons and a game that showcased 2 teams with much potential and a willingness to just get up and have a go. Pineapple FC today were in the groove at times and yet somehow managed to go home with no points. I don't know how they did this but it goes to show that when on top during the opening exchanges they should have bagged what they could and made sure their opponents were fatally wounded rather than slightly scathed. Next season I expect this lot to be a better unit and I am hoping to be watching the odd game they are involved in, we can only wait and see. Home Bargains displayed a good hunger today, battled on despite being under the cosh and came out victorious due to an undying belief and a full 90 minute stint. They play a good long ball and have many good passing units in the mix. They are a side it seems, that when on it, can issue out some severe trouncings, today however news came my way that they were a rather patchwork unit but still got the job done. Good stuff indeed.
So there ya go, another jaunt into Liverpool, this time near Knotty Ash with no sign of any Ken Dodd look-a-likes trying to borrow a fiver off the unwary and no sign of any Diddymen looking to ply their sexual trade (hey ho, maybe next time). The verdict - well worth the effort.
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