2nd August 2021 - Maine Road Fc 2 v 3 Wythenshawe Amateurs - And onto the second match of the season proper with my aching carcass dragged to the ground after a busy weekend. Today I had spent 3 hours at Denton Town doing more work for the club and nature and then indulged in a 6.5 mile power-walk that left my knackers a trifle moist and the crack of my arse like a free-flowing log-flume (roll up, roll up folks, ride the rapids in a new fairground attraction - stink-o-tastic). Upon arrival STP Stu joined me and we purchased a cuppa and a choccy bar from the happy lass in the snack booth. Heading to our usual spot, it didn't seem like 5 minutes since our buttocks were being punished by the clubs seating area - by heck them wooden planks don't half play havoc with my aging posterior. Joining us for the night's action was John D, a good touchline buddy we hadn't seen for 18 months due to a pesky virus and John having spent 6 months at Her Majesty's Displeasure after an incident in a Salford Pet Shop involving a Terrapin's head and a part of John's anatomy best left unnamed.
After gasbagging and making predictions the teams rolled out on a glorious evening whilst the tannoy crackled out its almost nostalgic inaudible nonsense with many using home-made deciphering kits to try and work out what was being said - fine stuff indeed.
The game began with good impetus and an early corner for the Whammies saw the home keeper punch with authority and the hosts peregrinate forth with an eagerness to pass with pace. A superb ball came from the middle of the park that was received out wide and played into the box of concern. No 9 (Reece Lyndon) collected, had time to pick his spot and stroked the ball into the bottom corner to instantly set the game ablaze.
The guests now looked to repay this early insult to their pride and ambition. No 3 (Richard Peters) progressed and posted a sizzling cross that required some above average defending. Soon after Wythenshawe came again, this time via a counterattack that culminated in a stick-trembling attempt by their No 10 (Louis White). The ball pinged back into play, No 7 (Samuel Dickov) was on it quicker than a gay gibbon on a penis-shaped banana. The shot was instantaneous, the keeper was ready and produced a quite choice save with the follow-on corner bearing bugger all.
This was a good fast-paced contest with the WA lads probing but the MR ranks staying tightly clenched. Suddenly the home chaps progressed and won an angled kick. The ball was sent into the box, was punched out and then redelivered by No 10 (Jamie Roe). Lyndon rose with the visiting keeper, a clatter of fist and face came with the striker ending up in a heap - the result, a bloody nose and a penalty. Eventually No 11 (Sajjad Elhassan) stepped up, guided the sphere home and doubled the advantage.
From here the half galloped away. The away team buried the ball soon after, it was a sweet move that led to the mesh-swelling finale, but an offside decision had been given. The pressure rose on the home goal, the Amateurs were building up a fine head of steam with their No 9 (Francesco Frangillo) putting in a notable stint. No 11 (Edward Brown) was becoming an increasing splinter the resident ranks rear, a shot came from the angle but went too high, Maine Road though needed to take heed.
The closing stages of the first period saw WA's White have a pop that saw more reliable action from the home No 1 (Bruno Da Silva). The scoreline looked set when, out of nowhere, a cross came that saw the Maine Road mitter advance and shout for the ball only to see a rising defender make the slightest touch and propel the globe into the path of Brown who wasted no time in halving the deficit. It was a cruel blow and left The Road hanging on for dear life and glad to get back into the changing rooms for the half-time break.
We stayed put for the interval, there were a few on tonight (over 300 was suggested, by heck I think someone needs a new abacus) and the thought of joining a queue for a brew didn't appeal. Thankfully the time passed quickly as John D showed off his scars from the terrapin incident and some pictures of the cell he had recently been occupying (nice slop-out bucket mate).
The two teams were soon back out for period two, the home team were temporarily down to 10 men and under immediate pressure. Dickov wheedled in, went round the keeper and saw his effort cleared off the line. A corner followed, a shank was swung and missed the ball, but the pressure remained. The Road were now back to a full compliment of players but were playing too deep. No 4 (Arron Hevingham) was allowed to have a crack, albeit from a testing distance, with the ball just dropping over the bar and sending out yet more warnings to the team with a goal advantage.
Handball shouts came at either end, the referee was having none of it, much to the dismay of both benches. All the while a certain screw was being turned and Maine Road were in danger of cutting their own throats. Eventually a Wythy free kick was won which Hevingham duly knocked forth. The keeper remained strong and helped ease the threat but the attacking force had their tails up. As the defending team backed off, Brown gathered the ball, had a quick look, set the sights and popped home the expected equaliser. Now the game was really up for grabs.
The hosts now faced a long and testing stretch and Wythy were definitely up for this. In no time at all the zested team grabbed the lead when a choice corner fell to the peg of the ubiquitous Brown who volleyed home without a second thought. 2 - 3 - a fine way to take the lead.
From here, Maine Road now decided to start advancing that made the pack in front work that little bit harder. As a result, Wythy's grafting Frangillo committed himself to a tackle and was a millisecond too late - the outcome... a red card. Despite going down to 10 men and the opposition exposing renewed vigour, Wythenshawe Amateurs stood mighty firm and weathered a minor storm. The Road had a few glimpses of goal and scampered like a bunch of deviants with their arses full of ferrets. It was all to no avail and the game ended with the travellers going home with the 3 point booty. Man of the Match has to go to Wythenshawe Town's No 11 (Edward Brown) who dashed and darted, remained keen hearted and of course, with a hat-trick, duly departed. I could add a further rhyming word that begins with 'f' here, but alas, I never got that close to the action.
FINAL THOUGHT - By heck you can't beat a bit of footy down at Brantingham Road on a Monday night - it is such a wonderful thing. Tonight's contest was a strange one with Maine Road working to get a 2 goal lead and then, after a stroke of ill-fortune, going back into their shells and not playing their usual fluent way. This step onto the back-foot allowed the hard-working opposition to get back into matters and then grab a decisive victory - lessons must be learnt here, a case of hari-kari that should not be repeated. On the plus side for the MR mob No 8 (Ben Mooney) looked a ruddy fine player and their keeper is a solid addition and will make a really positive contribution to many games - the team should do just fine as a result. The Whammie Warriors now have 6 points from 2 games and look a fair side. This is a seriously difficult league though and several teams look destined to be surefire top 5 finishers. Could this lot be a surprise package and pop up in the mix come the end of the campaign. A couple of follow-up wins would surely get jaws wagging and teams taking note. They are a very complete side it seems and I will be keeping an eye on the scores on the doors over the next few weeks to see what transpires.
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