Monday 8 April 2024

BALLS (BOTH ACHING AND HOOFED)

6th April 2024 - Winstanley Warriors 2 v 2 Congleton Town Reserves - After a morn wandering around and recording nature at the Three Sisters Nature Reserve, we headed to a ground nearby and got in a good Non-League fix.  Prior to the game we grabbed a coffee and headed to the seating area only to be met with arse-holding devices that were lower than the balls of Tom Thumb.  Now all this is well and good but with a twanging hernia my own testes screamed out in protestation as I lowered my chuff and slurped my brew.  I was a trifle fidgety so I had a pre-match wander whilst the good lady soaked up a few unexpected rays and read her book. As my conkers clapped together with celebratory delight I roamed the periphery of the area and saw the following wildlife species.  The end total of the visit being 8 insect species, 4 different birds, 6 different flowers in bloom and the fungus (Galerina clavata).

As I returned to my spot I lowered my framework with care, sprawled the old ham shanks and also joined in the solar absorptions.  We didn't have to wait long before the teams took to the pitch and the nib of the pen was ready to weave its way across the papery substrate and conjure up something akin to a match report.

As matters unfolded it seemed that the uneven and slightly tacky playing surface, along with the whistling wind, would make for something of a 'leveller' with both teams having to work hard to earn their side a 3 point prize.  The first notable action came when the hosts won a gratis boot after No 9 (Jack Hurst) twisted and tumbled.  The ball was punted into the box, No 8 (Josh Gregory) rose and put his cranium on the leather with the horizontal trembled.  Before any further danger could arise the referee blew for an infringement.

The action remained minimal until No 7 (Pierce Ryan) for the home lads was released.  Good pace was exposed, the chasing marker was found wanting and a shot at goal came.  The guest mitter stood his ground and blocked with the Congo pack immediately breaking via a long ball that looked to be overhit.  The keeper came and dummied the ball to let it run dead.  The visiting No 10 (Ethan Harding) read the situation, picked up on the seemingly lost cause, moved into the box and popped the globe into the net.  0 - 1 it was and in truth it could have been 0 - 2 when No 11 (Josh Wood) had a dig moments later with the keeper failing to fully deal with the effort and relying on his defender to quell the peril.

The golden orb in the sky grew in stature, it seemed to give the Winstanley pack a surge with a push coming and a deflected shot falling onto the bonse of Hurst who just couldn't keep the ball below the bar. Within a mere instant though a mix up saw the home No 6 (Jamie Derbyshire) receive the ball in front of an open goal with the net bulged and the scoreline duly levelled.

The game continued, Congleton were guilty of overhitting their forward balls whereas the Warriors just needed to adopt a little more composure up front.  The visiting tribe put together a sweet liquid move next with the final shot at goal decent but with the resident No 4 (Ollie Cooper) putting in a quite eye-snagging block.  A free-kick the same way followed, no penetration was had with a long ball from Winstanley the response.  Ryan was away and only had the keeper to negotiate which he did with a neat end placement.  2 - 1 it was and perhaps it was fully deserved, then again...!

The hosts now began to have more of the play but the opposing ranks were still good value and the next goal was still up for grabs.  Winstanley's Hurst had a shot wide, a few half chances followed.  The Warriors conjured a flashing 3 pass move down the wing to earn a corner.  The angled kick came, bugger all was the result with The Town reacting with a nice on-the-deck sortie that saw a shot over the keeper hit the underside of the bar and then Wood pounce and bumble the ball home.  

With the game all square we headed to the clubhouse with the referee blowing for the break whilst we were on our way.  We had another brew, I got teamsheet photo's from the amiable referee and returned to the seating spot with my globes not at all happy.  I considered using my good lasses phone to see if I could order a Non-League Truss on-line - I decided to risk matters and just concentrate on the report.

From the whistle for period 2 the guests put in a quick attack that left Harding with a golden chance to bury.  The blood rushed and gushed, a wild swing was committed, the ball blazed over after getting a slight touch from an opposing bod.  2 corners ensued, no further triumph was had.  No 10 (Vinicius De Souza) for the hosts had a reactive shot just wide as did the Warriors No 2 (Bienfait Kambege) who came up with the same outcome.

Some good endeavor was being shown, some fair battling and a period that was for the purist only.  Both teams worked up a good lather to try and grab that all important winner with the outcome being a rather disjointed affair lacking in any real chances.  Several corners came at each end, some desperate scrambling saw all danger snuffed out with things becoming more hectic and desperate by the minute.

The half seemed to whizz by, we entered the latter stages with the next goal seemingly destined to be the decider.  Congleton made a superb move that was nearly missed due to the sun dazzling the peepers. The apical action saw a shot come and the keeper make a good regulation save.  The angled offering brought no joy and before the final pips from the pea-laden device Winstanley had one more crack at goal with a long ranger that wasn't too far off the mark.  Eventually we were done, in fairness a share of the spoils was the right outcome and I was left to contemplate the Man of the Match.  I went for the Winstanley Warriors No 5 (Corey Morgan) who was a rock solid component in the rearguard ranks and who put in a stout an disciplined performance that gave those around him a certain comfort.  

We pootled off home having enjoyed our trip to an area where I use to practice my golf (30 years ago) and where I once saw a woman drop her knickers, expose her 3 cornered rug and take a leak.  As one can imagine, the shot I hit with my six-iron went a little awry and I kept all further balls away from the piss-soaked area.  

FINAL THOUGHTS - A new ground visited, a good day out and not a bad set up at all.  It is good to see these Non-League teams having a go and it is equally heart-warming to see people putting in their all for this fine but overlooked sport.  Today Congleton Town Reserves worked well as a unit with some good scrappers noted, a few steady players observed and some genuinely earnest and well-behaved grafters putting in several good stints.  A reserve team is always going to be on the back foot but I liked what I saw today and there is great potential here that I hope gets truly tapped.  Winstanley Warriors also have some good grafters in the mix and some players who show good composure and a good reading of the game.  The key is to work hard on the training ground and make sure all players are in communicative sync.  At times the full width of the playing space was not used, a few balls were rushed and a backing up of the front players was slow to arrive.  This shouldn't detract from a hard-working team though who battled away in testing conditions.  We hope to return soon, next time though I may bring two egg-cups in which to rest my chestnuts and my own wind barrier to stave off the gustings - needs must for we old punk rock duffers.

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