Monday, 4 August 2025

PLUNDERING OLD UN'S

2nd August 2025 - Fulwood Amateurs 1 v 4 Holker Old Boys - Another hectic week had been and gone. The CD reviews were up to speed, all nature records were online and recorded, work was done and it was time to have a good head clearing weekend.  We set off early today, parked up at Haslam Park and went to a nearby cafe for a good breakfast and a coffee.  We had a walk soon after, the weather was strange, threatening to rain, sometimes cool, sometimes clammy with sporadic outbursts of sun.  We clocked up 199 species and kept the blood flowing - not a bad do at all. We arrived at the ground jaded and after purchasing victuals sat on the grass at pitchside and awaited the 2 teams.  This was a different ground for us, we like to add the odd new place into the annual mix, we hoped the football would be of a good standard with plenty of twists, turns and thrills. As things transpired, we weren't disappointed.  It was a shame there were no seats ready to take the weight off our posteriors, the ground is being worked upon though and when we return we hope to find comfy armchairs all around the pitch, each one with its own built-in buttock massager and tea-making device - we are demanding souls.

And to the game... the home pack started with pace-injected zeal and earned a corner.  The ball that was delivered was high and fell onto the awaiting bonce of No 4 (Glenn Steele) who nutted across goal from his back post position.  The merest of touches from an attacking bod would have brought the first goal, luckily for the opposition it didn't come.  The guests immediately responded with a sally forth that ended in a corner.  The outcome was a ball played short, knocked in, knocked back out, reposted and with the keeper eventually on it. What a waste of ruddy ink I thought!

From here the  Barrow-in-Furness based pack passed well, moved with endeavour and forced the hosts to earn their daily crust.  Fulwood more than held their own with a neat move that saw several passes lead to a sweetly threaded pass that No 9 (Spender Lucas) latched onto.  A shot came but a defender did enough to kill the sting and allow for the danger to be dealt with.  The home lads continued to push with another corner resulting in another lofted ball in. No 5 (Sam Higham) headed down from the far stick and No 8 (Sam Braithwaite) flicked on only to see the ball go over the horizontal.

Braithwaite for the hosts was leading the way next with a superb twist, turn and dash down the flank.  The cross came, a colleague whose number eluded me connected  and the bar was clattered.  The side under the cosh duly cleared with great relief.  

Fulwood Amateurs continued to press and were the better side thus far although the Holker unit had the odd sortie forth, one of which ended in a free-kick that No 10 (Jamie Hodgson) struck well only to be denied by an alert and animated keeper.  Suddenly the guests were marauding forth again with the ball bumbling around, the defensive ranks fumbling and a cross being borne amid a moment of indecision.  Up stepped No 9 (Luke Davey) and the ball was buried.  0 - 1, against the grain but that is how the cookie sometimes crumbles.

Fulwood now worked up a good lather to regain footballing parity but were soon back-pedaling as the green clad Davey was released and looking to finish.  Thankfully the resident No 1 (Jacob Barry) had his peepers peeled, his body well-flung and an outstretched shank did enough to block the effort.  After a booking for HOB's stalwart No 5 (Luke Mitchell) Fulwood mustered an attack.  The player who had just received a card was there to quell danger with the ball pinging off one of his upper limbs.  It looked a minor accident, the referee disagreed and gave a penalty.  This was a big moment, a strike and suddenly the match would be a different ball game.  No 3 (Theodore Ball) stepped up, stroked the ball forth and... missed the target - a shocker for sure.

The half was now nearly done, a ball was knocked forth for Holker, the keeper, who had been having a good game thus far, hesitated.  This slight pause allowed the galloping No 7 (Charlie McGladdery) to nip in with the cranium and double his sides lead.  Soon after the half was done and I was wondering how the Hell were the visitors 2 goals to the good?

A coffee for the break, my lass had a bag of crisps.  I avoided the salty treats as I am striving to be good, lower the blood pressure and drop a few pounds - by heck it ain't easy.  I could live on sausages, I could quite happily become a fish and chip tester for the local Fat Arse Society and I could surely put in a good showing at the Annual Sexual Trifle Festival where whizzing up a vat of jelly, custard, cream and sprinkles and then drinking the resultant liquid would be an unbridled joy.  But - the ticker says 'no' and the doctor frowns.  Bastards!

Half two with belly rumbling.  The leading squad were straight at it with a cross ball just not falling for an advancing striker.  The home team responded with an attack that bore similar fruit - the fruit, in fact, of the Tree of No Returns (Fuckus allus).  Holker were the team looking most likely to puncture the scoreline yet again with a cross laden with threat that the home mitter did well to palm away.  2 quick shots the same way came, in a manic start that saw no further goals.  Fulwood soon cultivated a spurt with No 7 (James Bell) having a pop from the angle that was close but not close enough.

The intriguing tussle continued. Fulwood's Ball chanced his shank with a rangy shot that found the outer onion bag and then the guests came forth with a thru-ball that found Hodgson who neatly found space, hoofed a low shot that the keeper tidily dealt with.  Suddenly, as time ticked on, the Amateurs won a gratis punt with the ball sweetly delivered and Braithwaite rising, putting crust on globe and finding the goal.  This was just what the game needed, perfect for we neutral nellies.

The next goal gained in its level of importance especially seeing that if there was only 1 more goal, either myself or my good lady would have predicted the correct score (I had opted for a Holker 3 - 1 win, my lass for a 2 - 2 draw.  Soon after the restart No 10 (Owen Watkinson) for Fulwood was racing away. A cross to Ball to bury saw the sphere just not settle and the chance get snuffed out.  At the other end and a tackle was made, argy-bargy ensued and Braithwaite for the FA chaps was sent packing.  Hodgson posted the free kick. In and out the ball went before No 3 (Joshua Woodend) had a pop that was deflected wide.  The corner came, it was well defended but immediately sent back in the perilous zone.  The ball pinged, Mitchell somehow bungled it home - this was added salt in Fulwood's opened wound, nay an extra clobbering in the recently exposed conkers for sure.

Much fluster and bluster came, the hosts gave a good account of themselves for a fair period.  The closest they came was when a sugar-plum cross found the dome of Lucas who was mere feet from goal but denied by the adept agility of the gloved guardian.  Watkinson had a pop next, it was a nice try but had way too much elevation.

The final gaspings, another free kick was awarded to the away tribe.  Hodgson was on it, struck a low pearler that brought up a 1 - 4 scoreline and pissed on the promise of a Non-League prediction.  

The last few minutes saw Fulwood still work with tireless passion. Watkinson being an eye-catching component.  A few more shots came either end,  the game came to a close with still good energy levels exposed.  The result was unfair I thought but Holker Old Boys are no mugs and know their way around the NWCFL circuit and duly deserved the win.  Man of the Match for me was their No 5 (Luke Mitchell) - a real choice defensive stint, getting in the way of many attacks, staying calm on the ball and grabbing a bonus goal too - now that is one good day methinks.  We headed home after another good jaunt out, get them armchairs ready, we shall be back.

FINAL THOUGHTS - Fulwood Amateurs are on a new adventure and it can so easily go tits up if the heads dip and Lady Luck plays a duff hand.  There were many moments today that could have swung this game the other way and on paper the result looks resounding.  I think this lot will more than hold their own in this league and have a good work ethos and passing ability to get them a mid-table finish.  The keeper is a fair last man and one or several out players seem to have the potential to have a good season.  They need a win soon, like an early morn pisspot after a sherry special bender, they need a settler, it will come but they have to take their chances.  Holker Old Boys are the wise old owls of the campaign and will swoop down on any enfeebled prey and make them pay big-time.  I am sure they will be in the top six come season end, they seem a complete team who have a good inner belief.  They will get rough patches, the questions will then arise.  Keep thy heads, have faith and keep passing and working off the ball and reap the rewards.  The last time we went up to watch these lot was part of a fine 3 day jaunt, I may be striving to persuade my missus that we have to repeat matters.  

No comments:

Post a Comment