Cycling home was sweaty and hard going but a bloke was fishing on the local river and my timing was spot on as I saw him bring from the depths a quite magnificent Brown Trout. He was overjoyed, asked me to use his phone and take a picture - it reminded me yet again how the simple things in life are the best. I left the guy after he gently returned the fish to weave its way through the liquid, I noted a Red Admiral further along and then got the head down and raced home. Once home I sorted the moth trap and released the scale-winged gems after recording all, the best of the bunch I thought was a Rosy Rustic, the first of the year too. A natter, a read, a tidy and myself and my good lady got ready, set out and arrived at the ground for tonight's footy in good time. The usual fine folk were there, we had the odd natter and picked a viewing spot where we sat down and had a rest. In truth I could have dozed off, what an old wanker. Prior to the game I asked local Denton stalwart Rob Nicholson to get me pictures of the teamsheets and was duly bombarded with scrotal close-ups and vile information regarding testicle rashes and pubic lice - why do I fuckin' bother! Thankfully I asked George Shaw (a fine Denton doofer) to get me a backup list which I duly received after the game with several glamour shots of the local Bin-Man modelling crew - who knew that the council insisted that all refuse collectors wear anally open shorts in this heat - fascinating. Note must be had that the aforementioned Rob Nicholson did send teamsheets my way too - they seemed to be covered in chip fat and tomato sauce - I dread to think!
And to the game, the good early possession came via the guests with some sharp passing and good movement keeping the Town on the back foot and not allowing them to settle. No 3 (Archie Rowlands) made the first major advancement with some flank flashing ending in a really jittery moment for the hosts. Broadheath came on again, No 6 (Dylan Kelly) put in a choice shot that went across goal with No 7 (Shack Depeiaza) mere millimetres away from burying. Denton looked to cultivate some hope, the best they could summon was a cross that was headed by their No 8 (Theo Harwood) but power and real direction were lacking.
The home lads seemed a little flat during the opening gambits with most 50/50 balls lost. Eventually though the game became more balanced but it was the visitors who had the next punt at goal. A careful attack saw Denton dither, No 9 (Ben Mensah) found himself in possession and finding a little room to fire forth a dandelion decapitator. The ball had pace and was on target but the home No 1 (Ethan Handley) was down quickly and made a quite choice one handed save. The corner bore no fruit! Denton needed to get to grips with the gonads of the game as soon as possible and this they did with a sweeping move that resulted in an angled gift. The ball was played in, a bonce connected and No 5 (Adam Farrand) walloped over the bar. Close but no cookies this time.
A few close shaves ensued, the Denton keeper nearly committed a blooper when kicking straight onto the cranium of the opposing No 10 (Josh Harper). Thankfully the ball went dead. Denton had a break soon after with a ruddy good delivery let down by the absence of end marksmen - this was a goalless affair so far but I thought it was a fascinating contest. Both units were trying to play good football, the defensive set-ups of both teams were solid throughout and if ever a game looked to be heading for a goal free- grinder this was it.
The half was winding down, Denton's No 7 (Finley Hampson) worked well, won a ball, put in a delivery that hit the bonce of No 11 (Tyreel Henry) and pinged off at a tangent that surely signified a noggin with many lumps, bumps and obscure angles. By crikey I am sure the Frankenstein monster could have made a better attempt on goal. From here great endeavour came, the onion bags were left un-bulged.
Half-time and we sprawled and nearly dozed off. I was mighty pleased with the game thus far and stated this to a local ball-gatherer who had been on a ten-pin bowling bender. He was walking rather oddly and put it down to too much running, alas my warped brain put it down to the use of rectal ten-pins and the abuse thereof - I must increase the medication.
Period two began, Denton's Hampson flew away, shot and forced the keeper to save. Denton again, No 10 (Harvey Fitzsimmons) to Hampson back to Fitzsimmons - shot over - now this was promising stuff. We now had a chat to another fine gent who does more than his bit for Denton, namely James Pelosi esq. A good guy this and always nice to chat to. It was a shame Mr Pelosi was annoyed by the English netting and stated that he would have preferred a more Scottish theme. I suggested maybe a silhouette of Andy Stewart with his kilt raised and glorious globes dangling. Jimmy said this may put off the more kinked attackers when facing goal and result in a paucity of goals - I thought it was a point well made.
Broadheath Central tried to make some headway, Denton are assured masters in the art of resistance. The guests' cause wasn't helped by a refusal to pull the trigger when having a sneak sighting at goal. Denton came on, handball shout was waved away and the ball forced back. No 6 (Euan Melia) collected, had a look and swung the leg. The ball headed to goal with good impetus and a slow rise, the keeper was a little late in reacting and allowed the ball to pass by and bulge the inside of the netting - 1 - 0 - now matters were a trifle more intriguing.
Broadheath looked mighty rattled here, the fluidity of their play was getting impeded, Denton had their tails up. No 14 (Andrew Kwao) raced away, a cross came and Hampson had his shot deflected. No 12 (Harry Payne) was waiting to pick up the pieces, 2 - 0 it was. This was a bigger transformation than the one that saw Dr Henry Jekyll mix up his chemical compounds with an hormone drink and end up as Hilda Hyde. She was a right nasty bint too!
From here we had one team gasping for a break, the other taking care not to give a ray of hope. The BHC No 2 (Archie Rowlans) had a pop from range that the gloved one did well to tip over. A corner followed, was dealt with and a repeat came with the ball choicely put in from the other angle, No 8 (Harwood) eventually found possession, from mid-range the goal was spied and a first rate strike of majestic quality was had - what a great way to pull a goal back and put the end result up in the air.
Time was of the essence, Broadheath pushed forth, a ball in, No 9 (Emmett Davin) chested down, No 16 (Callum Issitt) executed a firm strike and the home stick protector saved well with the ball hitting the bar. Substitutions came, some shabby balls were played by both units who were now looking more than a little jaded and Issitt for Broadheath continued to show promise with one effort at goal just coming to late and another just flying too high.
A feverish finish, the visiting No 6 (Dylan Kelly) let fly but the mittman was right behind it and then as the light faded, and the referee prepared to call a halt to matters, a few half glimpses of goal came for the guests but were a million miles away from bearing fruit. Game done, Man of the Match was a simple choice, Denton Town's No 5 (Adam Farrand) led from the back, kept his fellow teammates encouraged (and occasionally roasted) and was an aerial general par excellence, snuffing out any chance of Broadheath Central high ball glory.
We ambled off, saw Rob N coming back from a chippy visit and duly understood why he wears a girdle.
FINAL THOUGHTS - Well, I thought this was a real absorbing game, the first half being an aficionados chess match with both teams probing and looking to check the opposition whereas the second half was a more liberal affair with more space on the playing area and all pieces of the game allowed room to manoeuvre. Broadheath Central are a good unit and easy on the eye. I like their style, they have some good thinking going on and I reckon, if they continue to play this style, have belief and a rub of the green (or dirty yellow in these arid conditions) they will more than hold their own. Denton Town are now the tough nut to crack, they are the buttocks of the Cheshire league that are difficult to part and teams up against this lot may have to bring their sexual shoe-horns to prise out a victory. Defensively sound, they resist pressure well and are willing to gallop with many threats looming throughout a game. Surely this lot must be in the mix come season end. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if these 2 finished side by side on the same points and the next time they meet up will be another compelling battle.
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