Thursday, 24 September 2026

WHEN TWO TOWNS GO TO WAR

22nd September 2026 - Cheadle Town 1 v 3 Runcorn Town - I have been in the midst of the mycological mayhem with the fungus world keeping me on my toes as per.  I lead generalist walks these days but fungi creep in to matters and eventually force their way to centre stage - I blame the intrusive mycelium and willingness to munch away at one's resistance. Anyway, this was my first game for over 10 days, I was squeezing it in due to being busy again for the next few weeks. 

Living locally afforded me the luxury of arriving home from work and having time to catch up on a few tasks and have a chill before setting out.  I had a boxing work-out, finished the latest book I was reading, did a bit of tidying in the garden and watched some boxing - Riddick Bowe - now there was one of my faves.  Tea was downed, shoes laced up and the good lady was kind enough to drop me at the ground.  A position chosen after salutations to familiar faces and the pen was ready to scribble. I was joined by a man I know as 'Decorator Dave' - a top chap who loves his footy and music, sometimes a little too much as an halftime reveal shows.

The primary pootlings of the hoofings displayed two teams well-matched and with little in the way of any definitive chances until Cheadle built on a period of passing possession and earned a corner kick.  The ball was delivered with mid-pace and decent curve and duly met the crust of No 4 (Paul Turnbull) who flicked on and found the back of the net.  A dream start from the great opening gambits of promise, could the team now with their noses in front build on this? 

Runcorn Town now shored up the defenses, worked forth and became the more composed team that held the greatest threat.  Several moves, however, looked threatening but the end creativity factor was noticeable by its absence.  They visiting tribe did win a corner which was nicely posted and No 4 (Charlie Harland) rose, had a smattering of free space and a chance to bury.  The contact made with the noggin was middling, the direction of the ball poor and so, the one with the mitts easily pushed away.  A return surge, a shot from Harland again which was too tame and too easy for the goalie.  No 11 (Ed Burthem) for the same team was soon rampaging forth and put in a searing cross that flew across goal with no takers arriving - hey ruddy ho!

The travellers continued to make the most of the play and applied a decent amount of pressure without actually making any serious inroads. A carefully threaded pass caught the eye and No 9 (Connor Spiers) displayed good pace to latch on and shoot from a rather sharp angle. The wallop came, flew across goal and went behind.  No 7 (Kieran Alley) had a punt soon after but the ball bobbled and was wellied over.  It looked as though Runcorn were going to bag an equaliser but a Cheadle long ball came, the keeper dropped and as a clearance came the home No 7 (Ibrahima Diop) fired back but couldn't keep the globe down.

The half ended in a staggered fashion, a real injection of excitement was needed.  No 9 (Spiers) for Runcorn had a crack before the break but the effort lacked wallop and the mittman saved and did enough to deny an incoming player who was ready to pounce on the loose ball.  More huff and puff, a whole load of gasping and into the break we went.

I chatted to my fellow tooter for the night, we covered many footballing realms and some noise - Chron Gen, The Exploited, Blitz and Peter and the Test Tube Baby's - the first band the best of the lot for me, very effective noise.  I did mention that Showaddywaddy were booked in to play a punk festival next year (which sums up the mass dilution) and was surprised to hear that Dave had actually been bummed by the guy on drums - and it was all done 'Under The Moon Of Love' - well each to their own I say, 'hey rock and roll, I'm gonna shove this in yer hole - ooh heck.

Back to the game with my drainpipes hitched up and Runcorn were away, the home No 3 (Harrison Lomakin-Rogers) defended well, knocked a peach of a ball down the line, No 18 (San Adegoke) collected, worked inward and finisned with a diappointing shot that was way too limp.  Runcorn now held the ball, tried to crack a defensive puzzle and came up short on several occasions.  Spiers eventually found himself in a great position and the chance to shoot was had and duly lost as a pass was played instead and the ball cleared.

Shots came at each end, both abysmal if the truth be told.  Runcorn had a corner, a shot was cleared off the line and I was wondering if the scoreline was truly now set in stone.  Cheadle had a few flourishes forth, Runcorn held their own and cultivated an attack with a ball played out wide to a fully focused Burthem.  The player with the globe cut in, colleagues hollered for a pass, the man in possession was indeed seemingly possessed and deaf as a fuckin' doorpost.  Further inwards he worked, a chance to offer up an opportunity looked lost when the shank was swung, the ball sent forth and the bottom corner found.  A fine goal but if it would have missed an ear-bashing would have ensued - oh the lucky perisher.

Now the game was back on, surely the next goal would win this.  A free-kick was won by the guests, into the box the ball went with chaos reigning.  No 17 (Will Ebbrell) was on it like a wasp on a honey-dipped nipple and executed a quick turn and twat and duly found himself the scorer of a deserved goal.  What a turnaround, the hosts were in need of an instant strike back.  They came on, a free-kick was won on the edge of the box. No 11 (Keane Barugh) put boot on ball, added some sexy curve but forgot the 'direction' and 'power' assets and so missed the target zone.  Another free-kick came for the hosts and didn't lead to anything and then Runcorn broke, No 2 (Emmanuel Sholabi) fed No 14 (Ebou Badjie) with the ball breaking nicely and allowing for a shot to come.  A pass was taken instead, Spiers swooped and the ball was bumbled home and 1 - 3 it was.  The game was done and dusted and fizzled from hereonin. The closest we came to another stroke was the very last kick of the match with Harland for Runcorn lumping a free-kick from his own half.  The ball rose, fell and the home mitter had to tip over.  There was no time for a corner, the visiting pack had done enough already - the 3 points were going on a trip.  Man of the Match was chosen from a tight contest but I thought Runcorn Town's No 4 (Charlie Harland) was a pivotal point of reliability and played the game with a steady and effective approach throughout.  Nothing too flamboyant, nothing out of this world but a concrete contribution to the kick-about that deserves note.

FINAL THOUGHTS - This was not a classic but it was a fair game and I thought the best team won.  Cheadle Town are in a new league, they will hold their own but just that final polish is lacking.  I really can't pinpoint what this needed extra sheen is, they are a capable unit but tonight just seemed to lack ideas and an overall urgency.  I suspect they will grind out many results, have a few tip-top days and one or two, like tonight, where they will come unstuck.  Consistency is always the key don't ya know.  Runcorn Town play at a ground I have a soft spot for, I do need to get back there.  They have had many highs and lows recently but, going by tonight's evidence, seem like a decent unit.  They are riding high at the moment and I can't see why this shouldn't continue - they just need to make sure they bury their chances when they arise and play for the full 90 minutes with variety and positive vibes throughout. I went home singing to myself, 'Chronic Generation' was the song, not 'Three Steps To Heaven' by the aforementioned cover band - and I even managed to avoid any cerebral visions of quiffed up love sessions - bonus.

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