Sunday 27 November 2016

MIST, MAGIC MUSHROOMS AND AWAY DAY MISERY

26th November 2016 - Sandbach Utd 1 v 3 Charnock Richard  - The HT household have all been bugged up of late and are a trifle frazzled to say the least.  As a result my lasses went and relaxed with a shopping jaunt that included tea and cake - ooh!  I decided to head to Sandbach and so caught the train down from a sunny Stockport Station to a fog-heavy destination that put doubts in my mind as to whether or not the game would go ahead.  I walked the mile to the ground, purchased a cup of tea and a cheese burger (ooh nom, ruddy nom) and awaited, with all the other punters, the ref's decision.  It was touch and go, a potential pea souper was on the cusp and as 3.00pm approached the decision was up in the air.  The ref waited, debated and contemplated whilst I finished my burger and masticated and then, a tentative 'all systems go' was given - hoorah for the man in black.  I wandered to the far side of the ground, bang on the centre line as per and awaited the two soccer squadrons to go to war.

A settling in period came with no real opening apparent until, out of the grey, a low scything pass sliced the Charnock defence and allowed the fleet footed striker to neatly place the ball in the back of the net and give the home team an early lead.  Almost immediately after this goal was taken Sandbach had another chance but the goalie was down at the attacker's feet and did just enough to keep things as they were.  Charnock then produced an attack of their own which ended in a half-arsed shot that was easily dealt with.  However, within seconds a penalty was won after a rapid break put Sandbach at sixes and sevens.  The pen was duly slapped home by Nathan Fairhurst and the game was definitely now on - phew! The match now developed into a hardy fest of push and shove with no team attaining any form of dominance.  A few choice tackles came from both sides when suddenly, out of the far side mist, came a cross, a bald bonse rose high and the ball was nutted home - Charnock now had their frost bitten peckers in front.  They could have added another moments later but a squander was had and the cake failed to get that extra icing.  Sandbach worked hard, they strove to get back into this one but the tussle and hustle continued and the half came to and end with many wondering if the teams would return after the interval.

A cup of tea was enjoyed as well as a chat with a nice chap who was wandering the grounds and, like me, ended up at this foggy nowhere-land.  Whilst wandering back to the clubhouse I found a couple of specimens of Psilocybe semilanceata, namely the Magic Mushroom and I did wonder if I ingested them then perhaps the fog would turn to pink fairy dust and be blown away by the sweet breath of semi-clad fairies - I stuck with the tea instead. And back to the touchline...

A scrappy opening bout manifested itself, both sides were like a skeleton on amphetamines and were just lacking width and composure.  Jackdaws called in the distance, a Redwing muttered from an invisible bush, the teams huffed and puffed with no reward.  All at once Sandbach were on the attack, they looked zoned in but things fizzled out and Charnock were up for the counterpunch.  A long ball was there for the taking - striker and netter were closing in, a 50/50 moment - the keeper just got there.  Alas though he was in no man's land, Mark Adams mopped up and from all of 25 yards chipped the keeper and gave his side a two goal cushion. Sandbach dug deep, a shot came from an acute angle but the netman was down for it and saved well.  Immediately another cracking effort flew goalward and again the man with the mitts produced a firm save which was followed by a goal line chance that was duly sent Heavenward. A bit of a disagreement between Charnock's players was stupid and could have led to a loss of concentration and here a lesson should be learned - stay focused, support each other, work as a positive encouraging unit chaps.  Now the mist thickened slightly, at times the play was indiscernible and the ball would appear out of nowhere with players in pursuit.  Chances came, a goal line clearance, a few shots just off target and one or two stray passes that nearly led to a break away but in truth, all was balanced and Sandbach still had a chance, that is until on the 74th minute the referee wandered into the grey invasive moisture, had a chat with his lines-man and then, shock, horror - blew for full time and called the game off.  Uproar, disbelief, consternation - a decision to debate, a controversy to consider - what the hell!  Shit happens, the day was done.  Throughout the game I was blessed by the company of the aforementioned groundhopper and when he offered me a lift back to the train station I took it with both appreciative hands - how kind!  Man of the Match today (if it matters) for me anyway must go to the keeper (Adam Halton) for Charnock Richard who made several crucial saves at some very decisive moments and gave his team the platform on which to build and keep the game in their control - good work in tricky conditions dude!

FINAL THOUGHT - Would one attempt to play a game of marbles on a bed of smashed glass? Would one carry on with a swimming gala if the pool was full of free-floating turds? Would a Greco-Roman wrestling bout be allowed to continue if both combatants were sporting 10 inch erections?  And indeed, should this match have gone ahead in such precarious conditions and was the referee correct in his final decision?   These are all moot matters, fodder for the gossips, tasty titbits for us keen football followers to nibble on.  For me the referee should have rolled with things and let the game go for the full 90 minutes.  It was sheer cruelty to a good away team to call things to a halt on the 74th minute but, there you go and as much as the away team and fans were disgruntled I bet the home lot were utterly delighted. Such is the state of play when boomerangs are bent and swing with bias - tis all fruity stuff and we wouldn't have it any other way.

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