Tuesday 26 December 2017

TIS A BLUE CHRISTMAS AFTER ALL

26th December 2017 - Maine Road 2 v 1 West Didsbury & Chorlton - I woke up today feeling like a fat bloated bastard due to some predictable festive indulgences. A walk around Chorlton Water Park with the lasses was very much needed and enjoyed followed by a call at the Mother-In-Laws house for a catch up, an exchange of presents and a general natter.  We pootled home for lunch and then set out for the match.  The climate had been fair all day but by crikey, by the time I had parked my rear end on the Maine Road stands it hadn't half dropped, I think my wife and daughter had been wise to opt for a shopping excursion.  I indulged in my latest book, a Dennis Wheatley novel, before the teams came out and my testicles decided to spend the next 90 minutes tucked high up in my body thus avoiding a real uncomfortable chill. I kept my gloves on whilst scribbling out the usual report - this is what I could actually decipher afterwards, I reckon I have done fairly well.  PS - for those wondering, my knackers duly dropped back down to level 'acceptable' at about 7pm in the evening, just after soaking my undercarriage in some left over Christmas gravy - it was an idea taken from the autobiography of Dr Edwin Flange the renowned Victorian quack - I shall be forever indebted.

Peepers alert, anticipation of a corker was high and the ball duly rotated. Almost instantly Maine Road had a shout for a penalty.  I thought they were unlucky not to get the nod and suspect the referee didn't want to be cast in the role of a twisting git so early in proceedings - well, it is Christmas after all.  A throw in the other end saw WDC's No 3 (Omar McKenzie) donate a limp header that caused no fuss but hinted at his teams slight aerial advantage.  The game started slowly but soon sputtered into animation that saw a few efforts get assigned into the vaults of 'shite'.  The West had a free-kick, it was delivered with remarkable accuracy but the head that made contact sent the ball totally the wrong way.  The guests came once more, a liquid attack of molten intent.  A cross came with punishing pace, Road's No 5 (Louis Edwards) must have breathed a sigh of relief when the ball he hoofed went behind and out of danger.  The corner that followed was awful but the WDC side were given another glimpse of glory when Road's No 8 (Gregory Willis) cleared poorly and another cross was hammered in.  No 11 (Ashley Woods) made decent contact but the netting that rippled was of the external variety and no celebrations were had.  The guests were now in ascendancy, a few hefty tackles were creeping into the game and as the team on top looked to turn potential into prizes they undid all their hard graft with two shoddy clearances that got charged down which eventually led to a cross into the box that allowed Willis to easily knock home.  Talk about a slap in the mush!

Now The West dug in and came right back but, from the midfield pack, Road created the next chance with No 4 (Jonathon Mason) hitting a dissecting ball that allowed No 9 (Jack Coop) to shoot from the angle.  It was a reckless attempt and in truth could, and should, have been so much more.  The game now became drenched in urgency and a lot of cohesion and calmness was lost.  The whistle was frequently blown and hindered the fluidity and Road seemed happy to try and see out the half and go in 1 goal to the good.  It seemed as though that was that until a throw in was conceded and WDC pounced.  A long chuck came, the ball floated and then dipped, the softest of headers was executed, Ashley Woods celebrated, the referee blew for half time - all square we were.

Half-time and a chat with the dad of a West Dids sub (Daniel Clarke methinks) about local teams, his neck of the woods (Blackburn) and how his son was doing.  A decent chap and it certainly helped take my mind off the dipping thermals.

Half two came around, The West were sharp and No 2 (Joshua Tinker) was in and blazed a ball forth.  The ball was defended but fell at the feet of No 8 (Joseph Shaw) who fired with evil intent and, although he missed the goal by several yards, he was only millimetres from removing the head of a small 'erbert standing at the back of the goal - phew, I don't mind the odd decapitation but not on Boxing day surely!  Next highpoint and WDC broke, some quick link up play and a shot via the feet of No 9 (Tom Bailey).  The save was a concrete corker and a corner ensued.  The ball went in and Woods had an effort knocked off the line with the ball being pinged up the other end where No 6 (Rory Breslin) had a crack and was denied by a last gasp effort.  Road came once more, No 10 (Sean Cookson) through, excellent wing work and a ball in that was slapped off centre - what a great start, surely the next goal was on the cards. Cookson came again, a good assault was had but his end shot was straight into the meat of the body of the last man standing - what a shame.  A response was needed and No 7 (Ben Steer) led the way but again the end finish was poor.  WDC produced some lovely build up work next, Steer was making a good contribution once more and when the ball found the net courtesy of Bailey a roar of celebration went up.  It was only when the offside flag was noted did the cheers turn to jeers and one or two fruity comments followed.  And here's me thinking the referee didn't appear to be a wanker, one just never knows does one!  Mind you, his eyes did seem a trifle bloodshot!  

Onwards, and there was no let up in this high octane/all thrills half.  A snapshot for Road, a pay back by WDC as Whyment used good strength, bustled through and let fly a shot that just wouldn't stay down.  It was Steer next who should have grabbed the lead for the visitors after putting his swede on a Bailey cross. The goal was gaping, the accuracy was wanting - would a goal ever come?  The home team wouldn't give in, Coop came next, he rode three half challenges and lashed with ferocity.  The ball soared wide after an ample deflection and from the angled kick no added danger was achieved.  Steer for the guests punched back, what a fine hard fought run he made, breaking through the pack and looking to shoot.  He left his attempt to late, the mittman was out to smother, it was a decisive moment.  The ball was played down the other end, WDC's No 4 (Eislet) committed himself, the resultant challenge seemed innocuous, the referee disagreed, show a red card and pointed to the spot - this was a shocker.  Coop was the man with responsibility on his shoulders - he stepped up and hammered home with a perspiration free brow, 2 - 1 to the Blues, was this late twist in the script?  Now the away team pushed harder than a pygmy in childbirth but despite much grunting no glory was borne.  Tinker played to Woods, a cross was flashed across the box, no takers were present.  A throw in saw an in-box scramble, the goalkeeper dropped it, somehow the ball was cleared.  Moments later another shot, way off and then a late WDC throw.  The ball was hurled, it dropped in the box and a hefty close in shot was rattled.  The save that came was exceptional and was a game saver of the highest caliber.  At the last Coop for the Road broke, he should have buried matters but the away keeper saved. It was a good block but was the last action and the points were soon after confirmed to be going the way of the resistant Blue Army. They rode their luck, they never lost a reason to fight and perhaps, Lady Luck owed them this one.  Man of the Match was a test today but Roads No 4 (Jonathon Mason) is a good leader, is never afraid to get stuck in and displayed some firm discipline today whilst leading the rear guard and making sure the opponents were kept at bay.  

FINAL THOUGHT - Like reading a special edition of Razzle wearing a pair of unmovable boxing gloves Maine Road frustrate no end but, today they came mighty good and got the sensation of victory for simply 'sticking to the cause.  They ran themselves ragged, walked off at the end exhaling breath quicker than Vanessa Phelps on a pogo-stick.  They are still in the mire though and need to keep on working hard to avoid a sickening drop.  West Didsbury & Chorlton have too much going for them to get sucked into the danger zone but they need to avoid any complacency and make sure they pick up a win mighty soon.  They have some good reliable players in the ranks and although they may not rise as quickly as the blood pressure of Neil Warnock, they should start to move upwards and start making some impression in a league they really should be doing better in.  They seem a team undergoing a slight transition, let us hope the change comes good and pretty soon, I shall be watching very, very closely.

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