23rd December 2017 - Chadderton FC 1 v 3 AFC Blackpool - 2 days before Christmas, the greedy gits are running wild, commercialism has grabbed everyone by the gonads and a certain cretinism has struck home and created a mass mindlessness. Thank fuck for some non-league escapism. I spent the morn sorting some punked loose ends and re-assessing where I stand in a sub-pit that finds my awkwardness and questioning antics a trifle distasteful - ooh those delicate spiky tops. If things weren't feeling dreary and hard-going enough I had a call from a punk comrade to inform me we had lost one of our loved and respected brothers, a man I have always held in high regard and enjoyed the company of. I was gutted and cried like a baby and then went on the punch-bag to relieve some blazing tension and kick-back against the emotion. Under grey skies and after calling on some dredged up spirit I headed to the match, come on lads, give this struggler a classic. Tea and chocolate were had, a snifter of sherry taken, I was prepared to be as positive as ever about this fine, unassuming game - life is important and tis the simplest things that truly matter and need gushing over. 3pm came, the footballing Gods nodded, many balls in many grounds started rolling, the one I witnessed was pinged about and this is what I saw.
In the melancholy misted air a balanced start was had with both teams alert and up for the challenge. It was primarily a midfield tussle with no quarter given and it was certainly a contest to test the wits of the betting man. Both teams were playing high up the field and were snuffing out any hint of danger quicker than an aroused porn star in a mouse trap factory. Out of the battling pack, No 7 (Aaron Scholes) of the home squad whipped forth beating 3 men, maybe 4, before letting fly a decent shot. The deflection added to the rear guards red alert, the ball was not far off the mark. The corner came and was thumped in with purpose, the bonse of No 5 (Robert Flint) was heavy, the globe flew over, it should have been on target methinks. Soon after this missed chance, the home No 11 (Leon Iluobe) worked the flank with direct pace and upon reaching the end line pulled back the ball for his colleague to shoot straight at the keeper - it was another one gone. In response to these early advances the guests' No 5 (Martin Baird) offered up a nice floating shot. It took to the air and unfortunately wouldn't stay down, good effort all the same. The tympanic terror at the back of the goal was enthused and the skin was hammered and sent out its resonations around the ground, no doubt tickling his fellow supporters and getting on the tits of the opposition. Blackpool now started to move the ball better and get more of the play but in the final third little action was forthcoming. No 7 (Billy McKenna) had a half-hearted effort but the mitter broke no sweat in making a quite simple save. The same player came again, this time slapping in a low cross for No 10 (Conah Bishop) to connect with only inches out. I still don't know how he missed the target.
Time tickled on, Chadderton were the next in line for a golden chance. A goal kick, a nod on, No 10 (Jordan Matthew) to Iluobe and a shot. Route one stuff, a slick execution, the end result - a close but disappointing miss. Chadderton's Scholes put in some more good work, riding two tackles, racing forward and then flicking the ball back. No 3 (Jack Turnbull) was the beneficiary and had a punt himself. The gloved guardian parried the ball, alas there were no takers looking to feed on scraps. Blackpool used this moment as a catalyst, they pushed on, McKenna crossed, the ball missed all and was duly put back in from the other side. An in box clash, the ball squirted out and hit the net, it went down as an own goal, I missed who the guilty party was. The Mechanics were now intent on brandishing the spanners of success and set about dismantling their opponents rearguard structure. McKenna was in the mix once more, a cheeky poke cum bender (ooh sounds like an incident in Manchester's Canal Street) came, it was just shy of the upright (unlike many of the peeps who frequent the aforementioned thoroughfare). Tasty tackles now manifested themselves (oh heck, I must stop this homo-erotic theme) and a few cards were issued. A free-kick given the way of the visitors was taken whilst the Chad lads slept. No 5 (Martin Baird) roamed without hassle and tapped home to double his sides lead. The Blackpool boys finished the half well, with McKenna providing another cross that found the crust of No 9 (Benjamin Duffield) who could only nut straight at the keeper. In the very last seconds Chadderton's No 4 (Jordan Butterworth) let go a late twanger but no success was had and at half time it was 0 - 2 to the travelers.
Half-time, well seeing I had supped half a bottle of sherry during the first half I thought a cup of tea was in order. I had a roam, and man what a treat the warm liquid was, isn't tea just the greatest drink on the planet - oh aye. I re-took my seat, enthused for the second half.
Chadderton started quickest. a penalty claim was had and their No 7 (Aaron Scholes) earned himself a yellow card for an over-zealous tackle which exposed a good zip in the attitude. A free-kick saw a real chance missed ,a snapshot soon after perhaps gave promise of a strike pretty soon. It was all Chadderton pressure with Blackpool just sitting a trifle too deep. Scholes next, he fired with force. A deflection was laden with cruelty and the ball looped with spite and eventually rippled the net. A goal back, the game was far from done. The sky now turned a muddy purple, a wintry mist was hovering, Chadderton had their spirits up and were keen to generate a brighter outlook. Matthew produced a moment of dazzling play, picked his spot and pulled the trigger. A groan went up as the outside of the framework was struck. Blackpool dug deep now, 2 corners and a toe poke goalward - no gain but the impetus of Chadderton had been impeded. The hosts though came again, No 8 (Connor Naughton) dinked to Matthew who shot with accuracy. The save that came was classy and the ball was pushed behind. Scholes next and a cross from an angle saw Iluobe shoot across goal and not even force the keeper to make a block - come on lads, take yer chances.
A messy period followed, parity was restored, I took a swift Arthur Bliss and missed nothing of note. Upon sitting back down attacks came both ends but is was Blackpool who cultivated a rapier-like assault that saw two passes lead to No 8 (Zack Hargreaves) have a wallop. No target hit but promise was re-building. A late Chadderton free-kick was pinpoint perfect, the striker was only denied on the line by a very wide-awake defender. Up the other end we went, a free-kick for the guests, Chadderton momentarily switched off, a shot came, a block on the line and when the ball was nutted back in it was Conah Bishop who peeled away and celebrated the strike and the fact he had sealed a convincing away win. The home birds flocked together and hunted for a seed of hope, Blackpool stood firm, saw this one out with relative ease. Man of the Match was difficult today as, even in defeat, Chadderton had a few players who put in good stints. However, my festive choice goes to AFC Blackpool's No 8 (Zack Hargreaves) who covered much turf, was a persistent thorn in the Chaddy arse and was involved in many subtle but effective moves - enjoy yer Christmas pud mate!
FINAL THOUGHT - A lovely pre-Christmas game that saw one team on a bad run and the other team flying fairly high. Chadderton never fail to confound and are either playing with extreme fluidity or seemingly stuttering to find any cohesion within the ranks. They are a darn sight better than the table says though and with a stable squad and some good fortune should move to a safer position and put the wind up many teams along the way. Blackpool are a strong side and look to have a grit and determination within their ranks. What they do is tight and efficient without dazzling the eye and they seem to have a knack of scoring when the play is going against them. Good qualities indeed and I look forward to seeing them on their own turf again mighty soon. In the meantime to all and sundry who read my wordery - cheers, have a good festive period and take pride in the fact you are involved and supporting a proper game.
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