31st March 2018 - Padiham FC 5 v 4 AFC Liverpool - It had been over 12 months since we tootled up to The Abories Memorial Sports Ground and if truth be told it was a grand day out in hot and sunny conditions with a fair game of football had. Today the Easter weather was bordering on the bilge but we hoped that wouldn't douse our spirits as we took to the road and headed due North. The morn was spent sorting a few insect pictures out, watching a bit of 'Holiday on the Buses' and indulging in a bit of tidying. I had an odd dream the night before whereupon I was a professional footballer doused in cash which I used to help all the non-league clubs I have visited. I am booked into the doctors next week as I am obviously delusional - it is a tragic illness many capitalist kickers are suffering from - bah! So, out and about we headed, offering a bit of support, hopefully spreading the word and putting a bit back via this report. We arrived and sought victuals, I had a right hunger on, a tapeworm perhaps or just plain old greed - tis the 1st of April tomorrow I plan to drop a few pounds, I hope my arse is ready for the action!
The lads in red had the initial upper hand with No 7 (Zach Hardacre) putting in some especial hard work and being involved in a link-up move that led to No 10 (Rhys Hardacre) having a crack off target. The same team came again, a dazzling stint on the wing and a cut in saw 2 home defenders collide and tumble and the ball eventually come across to the feet of No 9 (Anthony Lyons). He stepped up to the question asked and struck low into the bottom corner and gave his highly animated team the most rewarding start. Rhys Hardacre reinforced this goal with some good controlled midfield play that eventually earned a corner kick. When the ball was knocked in a moment of messiness came and from the jumble No 4 (Harry Avis) had a crack that was duly blocked and knocked clear. The globe was soon put back in via a rib-rattling, nob-numbing, titty-tanning shot from No 11 (Elliot Nevitt), thankfully for the hosts it roared over. Eventually The Storks woke up, they strung together several episodes of passing perfection, one of which allowed No 7 (Dominic Craig) to have a punt. The effort was blocked, Liverpool broke soon after, Nevitt again the cause of concern and duly cutting in, shooting and winning an angled hoof. The corner came to nothing, Padiham needed to get back into this and do it mighty soon.
The home Blues forced the next issue, a rapid rally, a cross and No 10 (Daniel Boyle) just failing to poke home. Within the twitch of a Turtle Dove's chuff Padiham came once more with a ball over the top that No 9 (Spencer Jordan) connected with and was denied by a good sprawling save via the alert No 1 (Jack Cookson). A corner was the result, from which another shot was had and deflected over. A repeat scenario followed but this time when the ball came in No 6 (Mark Ayres) used the springs in his legs to rise and nut home without any defensive pressure at all. It was an easy equaliser but it had been coming, the game was back on. Padiham were now having a good session, another ball bypassed the midfield mush, a simple cross ensued and a tap home in the simplest of fashion was the result. No 10 (Daniel Boyle) was the scorer, he looked delighted as did the home supporters - what a turnaround! Padiham came once more, some dazzling link up work saw Craig dribble inwards and dispatch an effort. The one handed save that stopped a third goal was strong and crucial.
A lull was had, attacking opportunities became minimal until some sustained pressure by the home boys saw No 11 (Jason Hart) deliver a good strike and the AFC Liverpool No 2 (Christopher Brady) produce a miraculous on-the-line blockage. Applause rang out for the rearguard resistance and then continued as Hart found the ball at his feet in the box, he had the merest squeak of a chance to score his teams third which he duly took with eagle-eyed precision - marvellous action. The visitors looked to regain a foothold on a slippery game that was escaping their grasp. Nevitt put a free-kick in, Lyons nutted woefully off target and then, seconds later the same two players linked up with the latter having a chance to make amends for his shoddy miss. He belted hard but the shot lacked angularity and was easily palmed over. It was a chance gone and when the corner produced sour FA and Padiham rushed onwards one feared the worst. The attack broke down but a corner was bagged. The ball was floated in, Hart nodded home without mither, AFC Liverpool had obviously not learnt their earlier lesson. With only a few minutes left and 5 goals in the bag it was no surprise to see a 6th go in when Nevitt for the guests ran inwards from the flank, looked several times to shoot before eventually releasing and finding the net with a quality finish. 4 - 2 at the break it was - I was duly running out of ink whilst trying to keep up with this madcap action - I may have to cut a vein.
Half-time, chocolate bunnies we had whilst watching some young un's enjoy a good kick around. It was a manic affair and I think the end result was 3 - 1 - the nippers seemed keen to get off and indulge in their earned snacks - ooh the little tinkers.
Into the second period and Nevitt for AFCL was straight at it, weaving away and contributing to a corner kick won. The ball came and slight confusion was had, Padiham cleared and executed a free-kick that saw another free-header follow. It lacked power so was saved but the lads in red really needed to wake up and watch this threat. 3 corners came for the scousers, the end result was a breakaway for the opponents which luckily dissolved into bugger all. Credit had to be given to the travellers for digging in and making a fist of matters and when they broke and had a two on one situation all heads remained cool as Zach Hardacre crossed and Lyons tapped home like a well-seasoned hoofer. This was a moment to push new life into a frisky match, where would we end up was anyone's guess! Liverpool found the net moments later but celebrations were halted by an infringement, as the home supporters settled their nerves they were soon nibbling their nails like a parson in a peepshow. Nevitt was in, he shot and the ball rolled to the open net. From nowhere a defender appeared and thwarted the equalising strike, good work that man, good ruddy work. Nevitt followed this with another shot close in, it was hammered with anger, it flew over and into the chilly air. The guests were coming on strong, spiced up with the condiment of determination, a brace of attacks could have been so much more if only fortune favoured the keen. The Storks offered a free-kick in return, it had plenty of bend but too much air - like an helium filled banana no less (just ask your local acid-taking greengrocer if you don't believe me).
A patchy period allowed us to regain cerebral balance - it was mightily welcome. We suddenly went into the road home, both units were hungry for more and it was the the hosts who displayed the greatest threat, This threat eventually bore fruit (no not more bent bananas) when a glorious pass was touched off and Boyle had time to shoot. It was blocked but a second bite of the cherry to the striker was given and he slapped home and surely secured the 3 points on offer. The visitors weren't done, a free-kick was won and thumped but, like the re-altered face of Tom Jones, had way too much lift. Soon after though another wave of hope came and when a delicious ball was put in and Lyons bagged his hat-trick before collapsing in a cramped heap it was all hands on deck for the Padiham crew. The final minutes were hectic, a few AFCL free-kicks saw the home box packed tighter than the shorts of Long Dong Silver and a red card for their No 3 (Lee McConchie) add a fruity moment when verbals overspilled. The dregs saw one last attack by the railing team. A ball in, out and back in, Lyons cracked from mere inches out, a gasp went up, the equaliser was surely had - well bugger me sideways with one of those curved fruits - the underside of the bar was rattled and Padiham had survived the greatest scare since Rolf Harris turned up to audition for the lead role in Jack and the Beanstalk at the local Sunday School - scary man, scary. The referee had had enough, he no doubt needed a few tranquilisers and a go in the local oxygen tent - it had been a value for money affair, 9 goals for £6, that's just over 66p a goal, you couldn't score that cheaply in a Taiwan brothel - think yourselves lucky folks. Man of the Match today is perhaps controversial as it goes to a bod from the losing team but I think No 11 (Elliot Nevitt) deserves the accolade due to his unerring knack of causing threat whenever he gained possession of the ball and his constant desire to cut in and cause genuine mischief. He is certainly one to watch and one, with a harder work ethic, can go on to be a much sought after individual - watch this space.
FINAL THOUGHT - Well, we certainly didn't expect this and what a treat it was for we neutrals although for those on the bench it must have been a nerve jangling nightmare. Both teams can take pride in scoring a good fistful of goals but both will be asking questions as to why they let so many in. Padiham are in a good position in the league and will bag a respectable top half finish that is reflective of their efforts. With a bit of tightening up at the rear things could improve next year and I think they are set up in many ways to become a real force to consider. They have a good support network and a set up to admire, I hope we don't leave our return visit as long next time. AFC Liverpool have some good players in their midst, the only concern I had today was at times they seemed to switch off and give away some sloppy goals and sloppy balls in the middle of the park. Their opponents were given a little to much time to dwell on the ball and with a bit more hustle I reckon the result could have gone the other way. They are now in a relegation dogfight, 4 teams go down, 2 are already sunk and for me, there are 4 left in the mix for the remaining places. This is the time to gird your loins, roll up your sleeves and prove your mettle - and remember, it isn't over until Jimmy Tarbuck sings, please do all you can to avoid that infernal racket!
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