Monday 21 May 2018

NO ROYAL SHALL SPOIL - NATURE, NON-LEAGUE AND DIY NOISE

19th May 2018 - Linotype Cheadle Heath Nomads 1 v 1 Congleton Vale - Hoorah the royals are having a wedding!  Hoorah, tis the day of the FA Cup final!  Hoorah, the country is full of mentally redundant gits as well as a mass of wasters that do nothing except for self gain - hip, hip and fuckin' hoorah - isn't everything glorious!  Please add own spittle-soaked sarcasm to the previous comments and think of me whilst I cut my own knackers off with a rusty blade instead of indulging in the aforementioned capitalist supporting bullshit - ouch me vas deferens. Irritated by much I woke up and cracked on, some more bugs will be recorded, I have two walks planned this week sharing my passion and I plan to keep the sightings up to date on my site to hopefully promote real beauty and ignite enthusiasm.  Dinner was had, a bit of sun soaked up and my good lasses went shopping whilst I got another footballing fix.  Straight from this match I had an anti-royal wedding gig to attend - a few beers and some good DIY noise is good for the soul as a whole don't ya know!  I arrived in glorious weather, had a chinwag, a pootle and took up my favoured spot - once more I scribbled and once more I hope you enjoy!

The game started in spacious fashion, both teams were allowing the other space and time and some fluent football beckoned.  A corner each way passed without fuss and then the visiting tribe dashed, delivered and the home keeper roamed.  A ball went in, No 7 (Ryan Brookes) pushed disappointingly wide.  2 crosses followed soon after, No 5 (Jonathan Rand) for The Nomads threw his carcass in the way of the first, the second was hit too hard and missed all potential takers.  No 11 (Aaron Cooke) followed up this double-ended moment of promise with some tricky moves and a shot that was boomed over with enthusiastic gusto.  The Congleton lads swooped again, a ball in was touched on and a superb goal line clearance was had, I missed the player in the melee - bah. The Nomads broke from the next attack, No 6 (Callum Clegg) ran and sent in a pass, it was easily dealt with - the report card was duly filled in 'must do better'.  A home free-kick was had, it was put forth and eventually fell to  No 2 (Dan Taylor) who had a deflected shot dip forth toward the lower side of the bar. The keeper read the situation well and tipped over with aplomb.  The corner produced nowt, a patch of little subtlety ensued with a hopeful crack for Congleton way off the mark and No 7 (Craig Coates) for the Nomads trying to add a spark to the action.  

Eventually the game got some added spice, the Linotypes pressured, a shot was had, a wicked deflection could have gone anywhere but somehow went straight into the awaiting keepers arms - buy a lottery ticket sir, buy one now!  No 9 (Brian Barton) for the Congo provided the next ray of hope with a delicious crossfield ball that was collected by the eager Brookes.  The latter player needed no second invite and shot from the angle and the ball whizzed across the face of goal and just missed the far stick, unlucky!  Congleton were now passing with care and attention, it was just a finishing assassin's touch that was needed. Cooke displayed neat tootsies when turning, cutting in and shooting at the keeper.  Soon after he was at it again, putting out a fine cross ball that terminated with a cross and a tame shot. The Nomads reacted, Coates had a great surge and shot that was saved and saw a follow-up shot also blocked by the visiting No 1 (Cameron Phelps).  The hosts continued to finish the half well with growing cohesiveness and better movement - alas the referee stopped the improvement and called for half-time.

I stayed put during the break, had a chat and munched a few jelly beans and then watched the teams wander back out.  

Both teams worked up a good foam early on, some panic football resembled an Aldi wine list and lacked any quality.  Both teams were treating the ball like a 4 cornered turd dipped in curdled breastmilk - uncontrollable and unwanted.  Congo eventually got to grips with matters, No 14 (Tyler Harrison) on the wing put a ball in, Barton rattled one first time, unfortunately it whizzed just wide.  Harrison came again, No 6 (Andy John) had a crack fly over and then a corner was won after Harrison battled and pestered like a gay knight at a local 'Molest A Jester' party!  A corner followed, an ambitious overhead saw fresh air struck and a testicle twanged, a drinks break followed and cooled events down.  As soon as the actions started Cooke of the visiting tribe played to Barton who walloped first time only slightly off target - promising indeed. From here No 10 (Tom Cavanagher) of the Nomads displayed fine desire and bust a gut trying to make headway and ease the pressure on his side.  He strode forth and let fly only for a deflection to ping the ball above the crossbar.  The corner missed all heads but soon after Cavanagher was racing forth once more, laid off the ball for No 11 (Kieron Terry) who smacked home like a seasoned pro.  The game needed this strike, it generated a spark from which further flames of action could grow.

Now in the lead the last thing the Nomads needed was for anyone to lose their noggin.  A bit of rough and tumble saw two players come together, a suggestion of a headbutt was made, No 16 (Ben Connell) for the hosts was sent marching.  From this a free-kick was given to the guests, 2 passes ensued, No 12 (Carl McCurrie) found the ball at his feet and scored a deliciously sublime goal that floated over the stretching keeper into the awaiting net.  It was a double whammy for the home lads who had worked so hard for the breakthrough only to see it thrown away by a moment of distraction.  A harsh lesson to be taught  but one that very much needs learning.  Cavanagher for the home team kept on striving but from a corner Congleton broke, Cooke was on the end of it and blasted over - a shame, it deserved more.  From here the teams battled hard, Cheadle looked nervy at times, Congleton overly enthusiastic and as a result no real opportunities arose that would give either team a full complement of points.  We ended all square and, in truth, all fair.  Man of the Match goes to the Linotype No 3 (Matt Dale) who was concrete at the back, just got on with matters and made life mighty difficult for the opposition strike force.  Good work fella!  I strolled home in the sun, it hadn't been a bad trip out, next stop was an Anti-Royal gig - I saw 4 grand bands, Eye Licker were bang on form - tis all about variety tha' knows.

FINAL THOUGHT - An average game with one or two talking points and much to mull over. Both teams worked hard, deserved a point each and perhaps, on another day, cracked in a couple more goals apiece.  This is the major difference one finds as one ascends up the league - that finishing touch, that killer ball to open up a defence and leave a striker room to burst the net.  The only thing that can remedy this is hard work.  Work as a unit, as an individual and as a thinking machine that is always aware of the gaps and the spaces available.  Tis easier said than done, but if either team wants to progress then the choice is there to be had.  I think Non-League, for this and a few other reasons, generates superb excitement for the punter and if all and sundry give 100%, keep their heads down and play the game fairly and squarely and get thorough enjoyment out of what they do then true success is had.  Personally I wouldn't change a thing, it keeps me enthralled but man, some of those managers must be on a bloody good mix of tablets to help them get through each and everyday - and why the Hell not?

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