11th August 2018 - Maine Road 0 v 1 Handsworth Parramore - My last match for a couple of weeks, gigs, walks and work are dictating at the mo, I was hoping this would be a good un' after waking up from another bout of nightmares, indulging in some decorating and in between, sorting out a few more wildlife records that seem to never end. This was the first FA Cup match of the season, Maine Road are a local side I have seen go downwards over the last few seasons and whom I was sincerely hoping would get back on a good footing as soon as possible. I knew nothing of today's opponents, I don't mind that, as a perennial neutral it all adds to the intrigue and mystique. So, after some chicken legs and trifle for dinner and a few final chores my good lady dropped me off at the ground where I met up with my fine non-league punk comrade Stu Taylor of STP infamy. Tea was an obligation, a seat taken, a chat enjoyed and we looked forward to the game ahead as well as the the following Manchester Punx Picnic. Chances are there would be more fouls, offside behaviour and claims of dirty play at the gig rather than during the match but one thing would be for sure, the noise would be lovely and liable to nobble yer nadgers in fine style. So as the teams came out, so did my nadgers (oops), I mean notepad, and what I witnessed was scrawled down as thus (with a few edit's).
The initial play saw the Parramore pack display a settled discipline and a determination to build with good patience. Their footballing approach was very easy on the eye and it was a surprise in some ways to see No 11 (Chrysty O' Brien) for The Road have the first crack on goal. A slight gap at the rear was pounced upon, the striker raced through but put the shot over the bar - a fair chance if you ask me. The HP lads continued to remain calm and pushed the ball around in a very authoritative manner, No 6 (Oscar Radford) at the back a typical example of the style on display. Suddenly, against the grain once more No 9 (Simon Thompson) for the hosts was in and used good strength that led to a run and a hefty release. The ball stayed low, a gasp from a few spectators exaggerated hope (and here's me thinking the referee's todger had fallen out), alas the target was missed but only by mere inches. In response the opposite No 9 (Jonathon Frogary) followed a bout of robust tackling with a 'turn and twat' effort that was also close but just missing the upright. Maine Road however were growing into the matters at hand, indulged in a wonderful move that brought great applause but only ended with a tame cross - the potential was there to be built on though, the first real stone of hope laid. A pressure now ensued, it was on the MR defense as the guests dug deep in the now expected mid-paced way. A throw-in high up the park saw a flick on in the box, a hoofing off the line and somehow the mitter ending up with his hands on the pinging globe. Soon after an exquisite move by Parramore saw several chances to shoot get passed by until No 8 (Jed Phillips) took it upon himself to try a sweet floating chip that just wouldn't come back to earth quick enough. In the all action game, Thompson had a swivel and shot at the other end and was just shy of the mark - the first goal here was going to be one crucial strike that's for sure.
A fair battling session followed, a captivating affair unfolded with many honest performances to be witnessed. From this spell of midfield warfare the visiting tribe burst from nowhere, a cross came, a nod on and up stepped Phillips to tap home - how easy was that? A deserved lead in many respects and as the half progressed Handsworth Parramore let the ball do all the work whilst they stroked it this way and that and kept their opponents scurrying. Before the half-time whistle me and my mate Stu wandered to get tea and watched the last bit of action on the move. Parramore progressed with purpose, the ball flew across the Road goal-face on two occasions, the mittman was mighty relieved to finally get his gloves around the globe. The half ended with the guests in control - we pootled off, purchased tea and considered a good do thus far.
The second half began with HP in ascendancy, Maine Road still scuttling away like beetles wired up on steroids. A talking to was needed for several players who seemed to be getting a trifle hot under the collar. The guests had a free-kick which went into the box, received a nut on and a powerless shot at the end, was the screw turning once more? More madness crept in, a few players needed a ticking off and a card by the man in black, amazingly some of these were delivered to the side in front - some buggers just never learn. These minor cracks allowed Maine Road to work back into the contest with No 10 (Jamie Roe) going on a belting little run that led to Thompson having another quick fire crack that was once more wide of the upright. I once knew a man with a quick fire crack by the way, 6 anal corks, 5 operations and 2 ring replacements couldn't help him - it were a shit life that is for sure (literally). Back to the action, a MR free-punt floated in from the angle and was nutted goalward without power and then after some more rampant roaming Thomspon was at the arse end of a quality move and struck a half volley that could have gone anyway but was ultimately dealt with. As Road pushed the Parramore sub had a cross cleared off the line and as the half-time draw man wandered in search of a winner Hp's Radford rasped in a blazing cross that ended with a lunatic lashing from a few feet out - luckily for the offender I missed his shirt number.
Both teams were now cancelling each other out via much industrious labour and I suspected one goal either way would throw this game into mode 'haywire' - but would another one come? A penalty claim by Handsworth was met with a Maine Road counter. Roe galloped like a good un' but when the last third came a pause, a loss of confidence and an attack of indecision saw the chance evaporate - it was akin to a young noodle attempting to buy his first packet of Benson and Hedges smokes - the approach was confident, the weaving through the aisles well taken, the final question unable to be delivered - one of life's minor tragedies. More huff and puff, more bookings, both No 9's went in the book. Mistakes started to happen, tired legs were being pushed to the max, no real threat arose with a few balls forth harmless, a couple of infringements quelling any danger and the defenses of both teams ruling the roost. The half whizzed by and ended as you were - Handsworth Parramore had maintained their slender lead, remained solid at the back and the Man of the Match must go to their No 2 (Oliver Yates) who played a blinder, co-operated well and played each and every ball with just the right amount of urgency and accuracy - no need for thrills and spills, safe and steady is always the way. Me and my mate headed off to a gig in Manchester that saw us never leave the bar and just indulge in a booze and a chinwag - at least the footy was up to scratch.
FINAL THOUGHT - So Maine Road are still looking to answer a few questions (aren't we all) and are trying darn ruddy hard to get this season rolling before the shit hits the fan and an uphill struggle is there before them. I think this time they can get some momentum going and if they keep a regular group of players a consistency can arise and a period of pleasure can be had for all involved. It isn't easy though, they are in a league of many chomping teams but after this dumping out of the cup they can zone in and set about making their own mark. Handsworth Parramore progress and are a side that I was quite taken with. They play football from front to back, are a measured outfit and have many calming influences who dictate the pace of the game and pick their passes with care. I shall make it my business to pay a visit to this NCEL based team and scribble a report on their home turf. Overall a good solid cup match, both teams had a good dig at the end prize of progression but there can only be one winner - and all the very best of luck to em'.
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