VALE DENTED

14th August 2018 - Denton Town 2 v 1 Congleton Vale - There were no plans for a match this week, I had been stressed of late with family affairs, the usual busy life I lead and a constant bout of nightmares were all taking their toll but, after a day at work tapping keys and sorting many things we decided a bit of fresh air and some good non-league would do the noggins good.  My young daughter cooked our tea, a veggie curry for Kings and Queens of cuisine - she's a good un'. So, warmed to the cockles with the spicy dish we headed out and arrived at the ground in good time to have a natter with a couple of blokes who run things, purchase a cup of tea and get snaps of the teamsheets (on my wife's phone of course because I still don't own one and hopefully...never will).  We sloped off into the clement air, took up our positions and awaited the teams.  A smell of nearby dog-shit wafted passed (oh those selfish owners with defecating dogs) but our pleasure was not dampened and as the players and officials graced the pitch we watched the game unfold.  Here are my humble observations.

A fast fluttering start was had with both teams brandishing the tips of their attacking epees with blatant intent (ooh the crude buggers, they'll have somebody's eye out).  From the main meat of the matter (or quorn of the concern if ye be veggie based) a free-kick for the guests was had.  The spherical object of desire was swung in, contact was made via a noggin and the save that followed was one handed and quite superb.  The ball remained in the box, No 8 (Dan Buehler) had a go with the bonse, another single-mitted save was executed, ruddy fine work indeed - stand up and take the applause Aaron Dollard.  The danger was eventually cleared and followed by a bout of midfield mither.  The Vale went down to 10 men for a short period after a head was clonked and treatment given but this still remained a competitive affair.  In fact, during this 'one man down' period the visitors had a crack on goal when No 11 (Harry Pointon) swung the shank.  The ball flew with purpose but, like a Buzzards fart, had too much uplift and ended up in the Leylandii on the other side of the fence.  No 7 (Tyler Harrison) came next, a corner won but the weight was hefty and a break ensued that duly fizzled and kept all things even.  Action came at both ends, half-arsed shots with much bluster were the result until No 9 (Daniel Heffernan) and No 7 (Stefano Idugbor) for the Dentonians linked up and produced a cross that was banged into the perilous zone but just couldn't attract any eager executioners.  The Congleton boys worked back, Denton sprung an attack with the captain No 3 (Mike Bennett) battling hard along the flank and slotting in to Idugbor who worked a gap and hammered home to break this stubborn deadlock.  It was a lightning bolt up the rear of the travelling tribe's arse but from here they remained on the back foot as Denton pushed on.  A corner was soon had, the ball in was weak, the follow up shot wank - abstract thoughts of a new Mr Men series came into my wayward head - hello Mr Weak, why hello Mr Wank, what a weak and wank kind of day it is - etc. etc.  

The game now fell into the latter folds of the first half with the host No 10 (Godfred Amankwaa) having the next effort via a grass grazing sizzler that the gloved one duly grabbed.  Denton Town looked stable and in command, No 5 (Luke Bottrell) at the back was rock solid and played a lengthy ball to Heffernan who duly lobbed the keeper.  It was a simple but effective move and as the netting settled it was with great disappointment that the liner had ruled offside.  A Dentoid free-kick saw the trees at the back of the goal lose a few leaves and at the other end No 4 (Paul Spruce) nearly galloped in but was muscled off the ball and the chance went begging.  The half ended in hard-working fashion - I was enjoying this one.

A cup of tea and a shared biscuit for half-time as we were trying to be good and shed a few pounds - it is not easy - chocolate, cake, fish and chips, pies, crisps oooh and lard butties - how can one ever lose weight?

The second half began, the first action came via a Denton free-kick.  No 11 (Francisco Costa) roamed into acres of space, was given time to cross and find the poking toe of No 9 Heffernan who forced the keeper into making a very efficient save.  Both teams bustled about and were yet to find their true feet in this chasing period.  From a Congleton advance, Denton swept back with Heffernan providing a cross and Costa shooting and dragging wide.  Another Denton attack followed, Heffernan to Amankwaa, a save and a loose ball trickling against the post before being belted away.  Within seconds the guest keeper had 2 saves to make, the first particularly impressive after a sizzling drive by Heffernan.  A corner came, another brace of blocks by the pestered mitter, one from Amankwaa and another from the eager and hungry Heffernan.   From this battery of booms on goal Congleton fought hard and won a bonus boot.  The kick came, a deflection was had and the ball was banged home - 1 - 1, no - an infringement had been seen, outrage ensued, as you were folks.

Like a pair of mating Shield Bugs some fine end to end action took place and birth to another goal seemed on the clashing cards.  The Town were passing well, moving the ball with patience and duly winning a corner with 20 minutes left on the ticker.  The angled effort came, several swipes at the ball were blocked until Amankwaa pounced, twisted the hips and wham, 2 - 0 it was and in truth, a justifiable lead was grabbed.  Denton came again soon after, Heffernan let go a steaming shot, the keeper was there to deny him yet again.  Bennett had a deflected effort not long after, it could have gone anywhere but was gladly collected by the busy man between the sticks.  From mounting pressure a Congleton rarity was achieved - a free-kick no less.  The execution was simple, the ball floated across goal and No 15 (Ollie Griffiths) performed a simple header, an easy goal, the game was far from over.  The last dregs, another free-kick for The Vale, this time dealt with.  Desire and passion dictated the closing minutes, a late Congleton corner saw the keeper dash forth - it was shit or bust folks.  Ball in, out, throw in, blast over and...the referee had had enough.  Phew, that was a decent game on a lovely late summer evening with a few goals had, a couple of nice chats and 2 cups of tea to boot.  Man of the Match for me goes to Denton Town's No 5 (Luke Bottrell) who I thought was dominant throughout, in command of his own situation and who played a perfectly measured and robust game - a veritable linchpin at the back that is for sure.  We watched the players tootle off and headed home, I think we will be back soon to this ground - by heck tis only 20 minutes down the road, what excuses can I offer?

FINAL THOUGHT - The bare bollocks of non-league football were on show tonight as a small run club came up against another budget built team and played the game how it should be played - with good heart, good respect, decent passion and for the sheer love of it.  My heart is always with this kind of shizzle, there is something more real about things that throw caution to the wind and have little concern for the coin and the corrupting crap that comes with it.  I don't think there was a booking in tonight's game, barely any obnoxious dissent was given, and the flow was constant throughout and brought many moments of excitement for we low down perusers of the glorious game.  I am glad to do my reports for events such as this, I hope it keeps people invigorated and, perhaps, sexually on edge (I live in hope) but more than anything if it gets a few extra arses on the touchline, a few others doing something and those that are already committed determined to hang on in then I'll be happy with that - a fine night out, free entry too - by heck what is there to complain about - well besides the dogshit of course.  End verdict - splendid and both teams look to have enough to hold their own in this league - well played to all.