6th November 2018 - West Didsbury & Chorlton 0 v 5 Ashton Athletic - A very busy day at work but tis time to catch up before the pre-Christmas flush. The fungus season is over and has been a success and I have managed to keep up a consistent run of football matches during a quite hectic diarised run. This was my first viewing of these two sides this time around with both teams, surprisingly, floundering in the bottom 5 and in desperate need of some points and confidence. Alas this was the 2nd Round of the Lancashire Challenge Trophy so it was a situation of two predicaments. Do the teams go for a solid cup run and risk all or do they take the foot off the gas and save all efforts for the league and the long term haul? It all comes down to depth of quality, the inner belief and of course, how big the carrot is that is dangled before the doofers. Tonight it was chilly enough not to ponder on dangled vegetables (plus the police may be close by) so I turned up, met up with my good chum STP Stu and nattered along until the teams appeared. Predictions were made, we have still to get one right this year although my good lady did predict the recent 0 - 0 draw at Llandudno. I had opted for an away win, Stu had gone the same way - one could almost hear the gambling fraternity run for cover.
And away we went, the ball flying over the baize and the players legs pumping like pistons. The start was well matched with No 11 (Ryan Crowther) for the hosts having an early drill with too much uplift and so hit leafage rather than mesh. The guests hit back with a rapier cross that needed defending. A ball came from the angle, it found a crust at the far stick that produced a pseudo-attempt on goal. The keeper leapt and fumbled and up popped No 9 (Adam Gilcrest) to tap home. From here a nip and tuck session ensued with Ashton's No 11 (Adam Howard) bursting in from nowhere and looking to charge forth and bury. The first touch was sweet, the second awful, the lads on the bench groaned in disgusted agony. Ashton came again moments later, No 2 (Saul Guffogg) advanced and blazed in a concrete cross that found the head of Gilcrest who could only nut wide - the pace was just a little too harsh. The WDC lads were struggling to get into this one, they were unsettled and kept in check by a very busy opposition. The few crosses the hosts did put in exhibited little threat and the first signs of an uphill struggle were apparent. From a constant onslaught Ashton drilled in two firm pops that rattled against well flung body flesh but when the ball rebounded out and No 3 (Charlie Munro) found himself in control he decided to chance the shank and see what the outcome would be. The result - a fine distance strike that doubled his side's lead and had the resident supporters hold their heads in their hands.
The dictation of the game came via the guests, a repetitive bombardment of incoming doodlebugs was had, each one looking to blow the hopes of the WDC brigade further into the great murky yonder. A free-kick came for The Yellows, the ball in was a stunner and needed touching wide for a corner. The kick forth produced panic, a shot was cleared off the line, this was getting quite ridiculous. Nearly every 50/50 ball Ashton came out victorious, each time displaying a greater hunger and determination. No 7 (Joshua Nicholson) and Gilcrest were two effective elements in a fully functioning machine of desire (a bit like the batteries in Larry Grayson's Rectal Vibrator) and did their bit with unquestionable focus. The Dids lads did cultivate the odd foray forward, a free kick one such example but the execution was rushed and no real pressure was put on the dominating force. A late flourish by the resident team was viewed from the far end of the ground as me and Stu wandered for a piddle and a cuppa (I did remember to wash my hands after the said willy-based leakage). A corner came, a touch on, the keeper was there to gather - the half ended in utter disappointment for those clad in black and white.
A brew and a stroll to the opposite side of the ground with a chew of the cud. There was no way we could see a turnaround here, evidence was being witnessed as to why The West were struggling this time around. No sooner had we found our new spot and the teams took to the park - was this a half that could spare blushes or rub salt in some very delicate wounds?
The second period saw matters proceed where they left off, Ashton were in charge, this time wind assisted. The travelling pack marched onward, a cross was defended behind by an uncertain noggin but the short corner that came was dealt with and the hosts had time to rebuild. A sharp passing movement from the WDC lads saw No 10 (Matthew Kay) find space to have a snap shot but the attempt was low and without zest and so easily gobbled up by the virtually untroubled keeper. From a drab period an Ashton corner was achieved, the ball in was swung with accuracy and at the back post Gilcrest popped up and bagged his second of the night and confirmed the outcome of this game. The home lads now took on the role of tip-dwelling shithawks and with ruffled feathers they looked for any scraps going. A few subs followed, a brace of WDC free-kicks were won, the first was ruddy shabby, the second saw Kay produce a glancing header only to find the keeper in the right place at the right time. As the play continued the Ashton lads ran like dogs on heat and trapped their opponents in the corner, refusing to let them clear the ball and eventually running them down to win a free-kick. From this exemplary work the punt that came was disappointingly wide but should not detract from the effort that made the chance - great work all round I reckon.
The game rolled on, Ashton buzzed about and earned a chance when a cross found Guffogg who, in truth, should have hammered home. The shot was done in haste and cracked over into the rustling autumnal trees but it didn't really matter as within minutes a defensive mistake was forced, a couple of quick passes ensued and Nicholson knocked the ball through a crowd of players and brought up the 4th strike of the night. Down the back stretch we went, there was no change in tactics or the tide, Gilcrest for Ashton went close with a lovely 20 yard drive that needed a firm tip over by a down-on-his-luck keeper. The corner came, it was hoofed in, a near post touch followed by the alert No 6 (Callum Wilson) and that was that. 0 - 5, a veritable showing up for one side, a undoubted stroll in the park for the other - man, who would have dreamt it. Man of the Match goes to the Ashton Athletic No 7 (Joshua Nicholson) for nothing more than sheer dedication to the cause, some fine footballing talent and an insatiable appetite to make his mark, help his team and keep the tempo high. Goodbyes were had, homeward bound we went, this was a match to confound the prophets for sure, although we did manage to pick the winning team this time.
FINAL THOUGHT - I usually remain positive in my end summaries, I try to find even the smallest inkling of hope from the most manky of performances and keep matters upbeat but man, West Didsbury and Chorlton FC were ruddy shite tonight and played without cohesion, without any fluidity and like a team in transition and without any direction. It happens of course, these are the ups and downs of Non-league, a place of unpredictability, ambiguous conundrums that defy solution and drive all and sundry to despair. Tonight The West were outwitted, outbattled and outplayed in all areas. They have some good players in their ranks and should come through this sticky spell but time will tell and if they don't correct matters soon the drop will beckon and a certain brown and sticky substance will hit the fan of fuckery and throw promise and hopes against defeat smeared walls of heaving disappointment. Ashton Athletic on the other hand were on it tonight and looked like a team on form. This could be a false image though as they were allowed to play, were given time to hustle and were against a unit walking the troublesome byways of Shitsville. Even so, each and every player for the Yellows worked hard, displayed a belief and operated as part of a pack well drilled and disciplined. Communication was sound throughout, always a good thing, and I look to get up to Brocstedes Park mighty soon and enjoy some more eager football. Tis a busy time to be a neutral for sure, it is, as ever, a fascinating realm to ponder, I hope I have summed this one up as accurately as possible, I apologise for any untoward negativity, but one can only polish a turd so much!
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