17th December 2018 - Widnes FC 2 v 1 City of Liverpool - The 1st round of the Liverpool Senior Cup, a chance to catch up with the Widnes crew after they had progressed from the North West Counties League into the Evo-Stik West and see how they were fairing these cluttered days. This was looking to be a stunning contest to get the jowls salivating, just like the 2 fried eggs, 4 toast and tin of beans I had for my dinner. I am a northerner with earthy tastes but man, that meal went down mighty well and I make no apology for almost having an scram-based orgasm in the process of the mastication - I do like a good basic meal tha' knows. So after a day cleaning, writing and stuffing my cakehole my good lady came home from work (as per, Monday is my day off), we had a quick tea and pootled down to the rearranged destination at The Offside Trust Stadium in Barnton. On the way we listened to a Fear on Four, namely 'The Monkey's Paw by W. W. Jacobs. This tale is a famed chiller and concerns three wishes granted to a couple who find out all is not what it seems. I once found myself in a similar situation when a pot-bellied genie offered me the same bargain. I wished for a 10 inch nob but when aroused found I couldn't get my trousers on or off. I then wished to lose a few inches which led to a state of gangrene that destroyed the lower 3rd and so led to a full amputation. My last wish was for a new willy altogether - I ended up with the shaft of a stickleback - what a fuckin' waste and a lesson for all to learn from. So with fishy tackle tucked away we duly arrived, had a slurp, scoffed a cone of chips apiece, nibbled some mince pie biscuits and fought off the nippy fingers of Old Uncle Icicle, a touchline encounter not to overshadow the on-field antics. So with trembling phalanges and a tightly squeezed sphincter muscle (yes, Mr Icicle is not just cold but deviant as well) I managed to scrawl the following observations, I hope they make sense!
The COL Crew started with great earnest and pushed with a perky, perspired passion that duly tested their opponents mettle. Widnes displayed an immediate resoluteness and soaked and surged with applaudable balance. The first notable onslaught came form The Whites No 10 (Ben Hodkinson) who was a busy customer in the opening exchanges and, after busting a gut, pounced on a minor faux pas, nipped forth and slotted home with little fuss. The City of Liverpool squad were slightly upended but are a resilient pack and hammered back from this early blow with sound pride. As the Purps pressed they were always prone to a counter and Widnes did just that on several occasions. One such occurrence saw the COL mitter (Morgan Bacon) get caught off his line and give an opportunity to a forward bod to double the lead. The gloved guardian recovered the situation with an outstretched arm - ooh the jammy bugger, we stayed as we were. Widnes, to be fair, looked comfortable and soaked up the mounting pressure with defensive ease but it was a long ball that came from nowhere that caused them the greatest consternation with the always willing No 9 (Thomas Peterson) chasing after and duly getting dragged to the turf. A yellow card and a free-kick saw that justice was done, it was up to No 8 (Paul Williams) to deliver further goods to the applecart of hope. He stepped up, eyed the situation and fired in a firm shot - the net bulged like the underwear of a hernia suffering plebeian, the scouse army of followers roared and gave good voice, game back on folks.
Widnes were now an injured beast, they started to snarl with purpose and looked to bite the Purple arse with keen determination. Corners came, one got nutted on target but the keeper gathered low and then after a COL push Widnes broke with high urgency, put in an accurate cross that saw No 7 (Kevin Towey) execute a delectable turn and have a first time shot that struck the upright and left it quivering. The ball rebounded and as luck would have it, it went straight to Towey again who this time thwacked home and got his side's second goal. From here the game was well balanced, Widnes had another chance when their No 3 (Bram Johnstone) thrusted with great efficiency, put in a solid cross that was nutted just over by the eternally available No 11 (George Lomax). 2 corners followed for the Liverpool lads, Widnes remained firm and always had an eye on the quick suckerpunch. The final gesticulations of this manic half saw a rear end slip up from the City of Liverpool pack allow No 9 (Dale Korie-Butler) to fly through and have a dig. The keeper was still alert and put in a concrete save - we went into the break as we were.
A warm drink and some ginger biscuits for the break, it were a bit parky to be sure.
Half-two, the first attack came via The Whites, the passing was superbly oiled and cut through the flesh of the Purps with dazzling authority. The final shot was hoofed by Lomax, alas only fresh air was struck, much to the amusement of the opposing fans. At the other end Peterson was becoming a thorn in the buttocks and after nipping round the keeper he had a chance to grab the equaliser but the ball was defended well and hoofed clear. Next and it was the No 11 (Jack Hazelhurst) who was dinking and jinking forward duly forcing a foul on the edge of the box. No 2 (Luke Denson) was the taker, the globe was slotted in, defended outward and than rasped forth by the shank of No 4 (Kevin McEllin). The mittman flew to his left, produced an exemplary save and knocked the ball onto his horizontal. The COL tyrants fizzed. Peterson earned another free-punt on the angle of the danger zone. The cross came, a deflection helped quell the peril but a tide was rising and Peterson was soon through again only to be denied by the keepers sprawled legs.
A heated period came, the vitriolic verbals hit a new high with 'Shithouse' a favoured description primarily aimed at the man in the middle (poor bugger, what a thankless task). Widnes though hung on, negated the sharpness of the brandished attacking epee and cut back with threats of their own. The Purps were becoming increasingly frustrated, this was a very convincing contest, Widnes briefly spiced matters further with a blindingly efficient 4 pass move that was just stamped out at the last and then Peterson at the opposite end got a late crust on the globe but watched it drop wide of the vertical - unlucky for sure. The time ticked away, into the added minutes and Widnes had a couple of sorties forth with one shot tame and at the keeper and the other lashed into the great bleak beyond. The referee halted matters soon after, he took a fair berating from the fans of the losing side - we thought the best team won, they weathered a storm, showed an inner strength and played with a solidity to be admired. My choice of Man of the Match goes to the Widnes No 5 (Sam Sheen) who was a defensive rock throughout, looked a measured and balanced player and stuck to his role with regulated discipline - it was a lynch-pin performance and not one to overlook - so I haven't.
FINAL THOUGHT - Despite this being a 1st round cup tie concerning a very local area the two sides involved put in a quite impressive stint and made for a very good game of competitive football which they must be cheered for and congratulated upon. The Widnes team are no mugs, they have good order in the ranks and are able to coil up and strike like a veritable cobra even when the flow is not going their way. There is a lot of talent in the team and it is good to see they have stuck with many players from last season. I enjoyed my visits to the Select Security Stadium, I think we saw Widnes win more often than not - on tonight's evidence one can see why. The City of Liverpool have been witnessed twice this year and I have yet to see them win. This, in no way hides the fact that they will win the North West Counties Premier League for sure, they will hold their own in the Evo-Stik League and they will win the next time I watch them (which could be sooner rather than later). Today they weren't at full strength, the aforementioned league is the priority but man, they still did well and in truth could have easily pinched this one with a bit more fortune. I hope to view this lot a few more times before the season closes and I expect some goal gluts to satiate my net-busting lust. The challenge has been set, watch this space dear readers.
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