THAT FRIDAY FEELING

11th January 2019 - Barnton Town 0 v 3 Wythenshawe Amateurs - Yes, that Friday feeling folks when you have done your first week back at work after Christmas, are absolutely fagged out, in need of a bit of sunshine and have got trouble with the old water works.  The John Thomas, the kidneys, the bladder and the dangling conkers are all tender and misfiring as this old git is prone to bouts of prostatitis and kidney stones.  As per, with every attack I have to be checked out and so, some oiled up doctor with hands like shovels will be awaiting the arrival of this fungal git to poke, prod and penetrate and send on his limping way.  It ain't no fun getting old and after coming off my bike a few months back and knackering my hip, having permanent ringing in the ears through years of sonic abuse and with more creaks and cracks than the members of an arthritic whorehouse I can honestly say that 'growing old disgracefully' seems to be my thing.  So, with expletives, 'ouches' and a desire to piddle I finished work, was kindly picked up my the missus today rather than cycle home, had tea and then set out with the best woman in the world to this not too distant ground.  On the way down we listened to another Fear on Four, this time about some school girls making sacrifices - what a trio of nasty buggers they were!

Into the ground we went, took up our positions and had a brew.  There was to be no football tomorrow as I had a gig to organise - Nottingham Splonk Invasion - 9 DIY acts from the anal regions of the acoustic world - time for me to don the rubber gloves and investigate for a change.  The match tonight looked as though, on paper at least, an away win was on the cards but I am never sure - I think that I am learning a lesson at last - we shall see.

The ball went rolling on the stroke of 7.45pm, at 7.46pm Barnton had a surge dismantled and Wythenshawe's No 5 (James Russell) went into the book - oh heck, surely not one of those nights!  From this point the guests dictated the pace of proceedings with a couple of cracks on goal.  The early shining light was the visiting No 6 (William Ahern) who was up for the task, knocked some cute balls around and appeared in more areas than the pimples on Albert Steptoe's arse.  Barnton opted to play 'breakaway' football with one such escape leading to a throw in which came and saw their alert No 10 (Ryan Malone) get thwarted by a defensive foot at the very, very last.  From further fluster the first ripple of the meshing eventually came the way of the Whammies with a free-kick sweetly executed into the box that saw No 10 (Daniel Egan) rise and nut home to give a deserved lead - or so it seemed.  On the far side a wee man in black and assassin of celebrations waved a little coloured flag!  The poor man was deemed a 'wanker' and a 'shithouse' but the goal was denied - please try again!

Further into the mush of the match we strode, a Wythenshawe corner was superbly hoofed in, the header that came was concrete but the ball wouldn't fall quick enough and walloped the bar and went over.   Barnton seemed to be on the cusp of cracking, fissures were beginning to a appear, the travelling pack were ready to pounce.  The Villagers tried to advance, the ball was lost and the Wythy lads sped away.  The attack was swift, without overindulgence and the end shot was firm but deflected into the keepers arms.  A free-kick came the other way, was wasted, the blue and whites broke again, Ahern received and struck with the home No 1 (Aaron Lyons) saving well.  The ball went out and back in, the upright was boomed and once more the globe was loose.   A cross came,  the tap home by No 7 (Rory Fallon) was long overdue - 0 - 1 it was - here we go then.  Immediately from the re-start Wythenshawe were marauding and molesting like Elton John in a public shithouse!  Ahern played a peach of a pass, a cross followed and No 15 (Joel Aikenhead) shot just wide - it was a good move worthy of more.  No sooner had notes been made than the same team came again - a simple long ball to No 9 (Jordan Burton) was gathered on the edge of the box, a quick turn followed, a swing of the shank and wham, 0 - 2 and what a way to double the lead.  Fantastic stuff!

The traffic remained mostly one way, the odd squirrel of hope Barnton offered was squashed beneath the rolling wheels of the hungry opponents.  There were now only a few minutes left of the first period, Burton tried to place his next shot and just missed the top corner and then, as Barton looked to build from the back, the ball was pilfered, Burton accepted and raced forth, shot and brought up the third.  It was, in all truth, a game killer, this one looked over and done with and when the referee blew soon after I did wonder how the 3 points could go anywhere else other than back to South Manchester.

A biscuit and a brew were enjoyed by me and the missus and for the second half we were joined by that grand gent and Cheadle Heath Nomads Secretary, Neville Pearson.  It was a surprise to see him due to the fact that on Friday, Saturday and Sunday night's Nev is usually dressed in drag performing at the Denby Dale Working Men's Club under the pseudonym of Gladrags Glenda - The Girl with Gonads.  After inquiring about his presence I came to understand he had been cancelled at the last minute after the chairman had unexpectedly swallowed a Greenfinch - hence Nevs appearance tonight and the few feathers falling from his pockets - very sinister!

Half two came, it began in a scrappy style, the guests remained in charge, the hosts dashed with pride and tried ruddy hard to save face and get a goal.  The first effort on target came via Wythie's Burton, the shot was firm but could only find the keeper's guts.  At t'other end Barnton earned a corner which duly came and allowed a close-in header that raised a lowly gasp of belief.  Alas the ball left crust and entered gloves all too tamely and we remained as we were. Some dubious decisions hindered the flow, little in the way of nipple-tingling excitement came and then, as Wythenshawe broke, No 6 (Daniel Jarrett) clumsily defended and received his second yellow of the night.  Like a gent he accepted the decision and wandered off - sometimes behaviour like this needs noting amidst all the gobbage and vocal nonsense.  The ensuing free-kick was wasted, Barnton broke and looked to recompense themselves for the loss of a man.  No 7 (Luke Wilson-Jones) dinked and shot - the save was regulation and worry free.  A corner was the result, it came and Wythenshawe broke with Fallon at the helm.  The man in possession trespassed, he was chased down but managed to get a cross away which Burton got his head on but put disappointingly over the horizontal.

We galloped to the last, a Whammies ball came, a choice header, the Barnton keeper produced a wonderful save to keep the deficit bearable.  The closing minutes were frantic, No 16 (Marcus Burnett) let one go for Wyhthy (dirty bugger), which wasn't that shy of the mark and then a late free-kick the same way brought another outstanding piece of mitted work that was duly applauded by all.  The final throes fizzled out and the night air was eventually blessed with the punctuating whistle - we were done, it had been a rough night for the hosts but Wythenshawe Town were on it and the Man of the Match goes to their efficiently organised and disciplined rear man No 3 (Joseph Denman).   Every good performance needs a sturdy foundation on which to build and many reliable components at the back - here was one fine example. We pootled off with another game under the belt - tis all good stuff!

FINAL THOUGHT -  So the last ponderings and to Barnton we go first.   The team worked hard tonight and ran themselves into the ground and all for sweet FA.  Observations are of a team who just need to vary the execution and play from back to front making sure the pitch is used to its full potential and many angles are thrown in.   They looked  to run out of ideas and options tonight and up-front lacked a potency to throw a spanner into the works of their very effective opponents.  The team are now sitting in 12th position it could be worse don't ya now and there is still much promise to be cultivated.   Wythenshawe Amateurs are a good side, hence they are top of the pile as things currently stand.   Tonight they dictated, moved and passed with swift focus and got the 3 goals when things were looking set to be mighty difficult. They have many good players and some good off-field support but they will need to work darn hard to clinch promotion as there are several other tasty outfits in the mix.  Come season end they will be thereabouts though - a fool would bet against them rising further but time will only tell.  As per, consistency is the key and of course, desire - they may just have enough of both to see this challenge through - keep reading the scribblings folks and watching those league tables - we are in for one fascinating run in.