74'S MACRON MAGIC

4th May 2019 - 1874 Northwich 1 v 0 City of Liverpool - My wife and I had little sleep last night (too many boiled potatoes I reckon), we were fagged out and yet up and out early anyway.  A walk into Altrincham was fruitless, a wander around Stamford Park sweetly interrupted with a tea and toast break in the local café.  We saw a few wildlife species and noted a tent set up by an old one-eyed crone who went under the nom de plume of Cyclops Stella - The All Seeing Slag.  I was pondering the result of the match and greatly troubled by my inability to predict the outcome so, after borrowing 5 rupees from my missus, I paid my way into the wigwam of enlightenment and had my left buttock read.  Apparently the arrangement of the stretch marks pointed to great excitement with a pimple close to the anal area indicated many capricious incidents.  The end advice given was to place a £50 bet on a 5 - 5 draw, put an each-way side wager on the appearance of a 2-willied streaker and to wash my arse more regularly.  Me and my good lady skipped to a cash point, withdrew the relevant funds and placed a bet at the local Bobby Queen's Turf Accountants.  We entered the ground with high hopes, had a brew and chatted with a few good faces.  The game eventually got going (The Macron Cup Final no less), I could almost feel the winnings in the palms of my hands and the weekend break to Frisky Freda's B&B was as good as booked (I hope she still pickles her dumplings, my missus won't eat nothing else).

The opening throes of this initial period saw the 74 crew hold onto the ball and play the patient game thus keeping the Purple pack on their toes.  No 6 (Aaron Smith) for the dominant side was looking lively and sent in an early looper that wouldn't drop on target and a low grasscutter that was spilled by the keeper but eventually mopped up. The COL ranks moved back with pace, No 9 (Craig Cairns) posted a quite fiery cross with the arriving bonse unable to make a connection.  No 11 (John McGrath) was there to gather the free-ball and let one fly - the save that came was regulation.  From here an 1874 breakaway was lightning and liquid, the flank was set on fire, the cross that came found the chest of No 11 (Taylor Kennerley) who eventually found time to shoot...just shy of the vertical.  A few more crosses came the same way, the Cheshire based team were certainly showing the greater urgency and trouble-inducing desire.  The main gripe for the dictating team was not turning the possession into anything of value and when playing a side such as COL, this was always going to be a major concern.  Once more the green machine rolled forth, Smith placed one out wide to No 7(Mike Koral) who chucked in a cross the keeper was forced to palm away for a corner which ultimately was like a Eunuch's nob and produced absolutely nowt!  As the lads from Northwich got carried away on the well ridden wave The Purps threw in a quite scintillating move with several rapid touches, a back heel and a shot home bringing great joy to the boisterops fans.  Alas the joy soon led to dejection after the liner's flag was noted - but was this perhaps a taste of things to come?

Despite this unexpected scare 1874 continued to play the role of constipated cockerel, trying to force the issue and lay a golden egg of success (No, I don't know what the fuck I am on about either).  Another corner came, it was played short and a cross was once more pushed away by the mittman's palms and what followed was a terse quiet period that saw 74's probing prongs of potential get slowly blunted by City of Liverpool's stubborn resilience.  Eventually the team on the back foot started to cause a bit of kerfuffle, No 8 (Jack Hazelhurst) was a noteable pest to watch for sure.  With much pressing a ropey defensive kick was forced with a quick cross flicked on by Cairns who saw the ball drop inches wide of the far stick - close sir, but not close enough.  Before the break Smith for 74 had a free-kick cleared and that was that - no goals, plenty of intrigue, everything still in the balance - fascinating stuff and not the outcome thus far that many of us predicted (including that cycloptic hag who was in danger of costing me some much-needed money).

From the shaded seats where the wind blew and dithered our digits we wandered to the opposite side of the ground, by heck the warmth of the sun was beautiful.  The teams came out soon after, who would make that crucial breakthrough?

The start to the second half was swift, both sides were showing a good hunger but 1874 were carrying on from where they left off with No 9 (Scott McGowan) cutting in, placing one for Koral to nail who just put the ball slightly off target.  Smith came next, with high impetus and much focus he darted between two rear men and let fly - the side netting was struck.  No 10 (Sam Hare) connected with a cross minutes later, the ball was deflected and from a follow-on build up the apex of the assault was a shot boomed into the great blue beyond.  Some curry-hot tackles warmed a few ankles, perspired brows were plentiful, calls for an upsurge in desire rang around the pitch.  Despite the consistent pressing of the Northwich ranks, the COL rearguard displayed a superb discipline and offered little in the way of clear cut chances.  Shots came, the COL No 1 (Ben Ashcroft) was always in the right spot at the right time and quick to sprawl and gather - he was having a good game that's for sure and added to his teams robust infrangibility.  Smith for the green and blacks connected with a corner next, his feet were quick and a dig released, once again the gloved bugger kept his netted orifice unpenetrated (phwoar).  The purple-pack eventually had a push, a corner was placed into the perilous zone and out of the melee Northwich broke.  The tempo rose, No 3 (Matt Russell) was eventually found, a low rasper beheaded many daisies and looked problematic, once more the shot was stopped and collected by the last man standing.

Onwards we went, like the cupboards of Old Mother Hubbard (Fanny if you knew her personally) the scoresheet looked set to remain bare.  A free-kick for 74 was sweetly struck by Smith but the goalkeeper produced the goods again with a quite lovely tip over. The corner came and went as did another down the opposite end - we now entered the final stages of this captivating battle?  Would the persistent pressure finally burst a dam, would a surprise attack burst the bubble of many rising hopes - who the Hell knew?  End to end stuff ensued, from a Liverpool push 74 kicked back with a delicious move.  A ball entered the box, great confusion came, Smith found the ball at is feet after the mittman didn't make the necessary contact, swung a shank, oh yes - 1 - 0 it was, the striker's team-mates looked rather pleased to say the least and great celebration was had as the players ran to their supporters and jigged with joy.   There was little time left now, the City of Liverpool came on strong.  Cairns had a shot deflected, a corner followed, a strong header rattled the framework, huge gasps and groans fractured the air, another ball came, the keeper reached and pushed away.  Yet another ball was launched the same way. one touch followed, No 15 (Daniel Dalton) shot, the keeper sprawled and...just held onto it.  A good hoof down field, the final whistle came, the cup was won, 1874 Northwich had done it, against the odds and down to sheer desire and determination.  Man of the Match was picked well before the end and before the goal, No 6 (Aaron Smith) was awesome today, he put in an almost complete performance that exhibited great urgency, quality control, high awareness and admirable ground coverage - a fine component in a very well-drilled machine.  We watched the presentation, acknowledged a team deserved of the win, and went home for a rest!

FINAL THOUGHT - For  a final, this was a very good do indeed, and worth everyone's time and interest with the slight underdogs coming out on top and showing what can be done with a bit of thought and some great shovelfuls of desire.  1874 Northwich deserved this, they worked like Trojans, never gave up the ghost and just looked like the team who were, to coin a phrase, 'on it'.  It was a fitting finish for a team who have underachieved in the league and just reward for a lot of good endeavour.  I always enjoy watching this lot, it is good to see the honours of the season well shared, no complaints from this end.  City of Liverpool have had a long hard season and perhaps this was one tough game too far.  I am sure the league title and promotion were top of their hit-list at the beginning of the year and that is what they got - I think they can all hold their heads high and look back on the season with many good memories and some great pride.   Today they never got going, in fact weren't allowed to, but they kept on in there and showed why they are a force to be reckoned with.  At 0-0 they were always in with a shout and I am sure, before that final whistle, no-one would have written them off - says a lot methinks.   So, game done, a ruddy good do, you know, it is showpieces like this that prove that all and sundry who are involved in Non-League are doing it the best and proper way - let us all keep it up!  Note must be made to both sets of fans who were supportive throughout, friendly and took all in their stride and accepted the end result - tis how it should be and a big Fungalised applause to all.  To add, the fortune-telling woman who persuaded me to part with my hard-earned dosh may have only had one eye but I blacked it anyway - I hope that finalises this report on a positive note and gives solace to any other punters who have been led astray!