Thursday, 9 May 2019

WHAT'S YOUR STYAL

7th May 2019 - Styal FC 3 v 2 Golborne Sports - A ship at sea, heads towards a high-profile martial arts contest organised by the maniacal crime-lord known as Han.  The competitors are on board and after a gambling game that sees two Praying Mantis go claw to claw a cretinous goon kicks over a basket of fruit and then starts to throw range-finding punches towards a quietly introspective Chinese American.  'What's Your Style' the simple minded man asks, the response is beautifully enigmatic - 'The art of fighting without fighting' - the mentally challenged buffoon furrows his brow.  This snippet, from a film of gargantuan proportions leads me to tonight's game - hence the title of the piece and my knowledge of both teams.  What is their style, who are this team known as Styal, do Golborne Sports really exist or have I been misinterpreting the arrangement of letters and the team is actually called Oblong Porters? The fact that this report involves the art of 'writing without writing' due to using a keyboard helps reinforce why I used the opening gambit and as I have a fantastic collection of Bruce Lee underpants and have been to prison for Kung-Fu kicking the right breast of local celebrity 'Big Hilda' I think I am fully justified in my approach.   After a day at work myself and my good lady arrived home, had a quick change and practiced a few high-flying kicks against the buttocks of the local shopkeeper - my wife took the right cheek, I took the left, nothing political, just one of those.   The drive to the ground was simple enough, we arrived, partook of a warm brew and half a Flapjack, picked a spot and I took pictures of the night's teamsheets.  Both teams were new to me, it is an end of season extra to throw into the mix and a prediction was kept under wraps - I have been made a fool of enough this campaign, sometimes common sense must prevail!

Matters began with the Styal No 7 (Louis Garner) knocking forth a delicious pass out wide with No 11 (Jardel Depeiaza) on it, zooming in and cutting the ball neatly back.  Unfortunately a defender read the situation, intercepted and cleared which led to No 7 (Steve Mulenda) hassling away, winning the ball and supplying No 9 (Mark Woods) who boomed over and nearly beheaded a passing Mistle Thrush - he should have done better.  Mulenda had a dig himself next, the strike was sweet enough, the elevation though was excessive.  Styal responded, Garner swept in another choice pass, No 9 (Joe Knight) swivelled in the box like a whizzed up entrant in a Twist Competition (ooh Chubby Checker and thy arthritic hips) and was duly tumbled.  A spot kick was awarded, Knight shouldered the responsibility and slotted home with self-assured equanimity.  1 - 0 it was, a veritable added bonus to a good game for sure.

Styal started to dictate the pace but Golborne Sports dug in and battled like an army of Dung Beetles over a choice turd.  The guests eventually earned a free-kick, the ball went into the box, No 10 (Niall Concannon) had a shot off target.  The goal-kick that ensued was shabby, No 11 (Craig Gladwin) jumped at the mis-kick, slipped a pass to Woods who negotiated a marker and hoofed the ball into the net - we were back to all square - nice! 

Back at it and Styal came on strong.  Knight played to Garner with a shot squeezed out and a tidy save had.  The guests from Golborne responded with a couple of punts that were not too far off the mark and Knight and Garner linking up yet again for the hosts with one shot neatly saved, another shot hit on the bobble and thwacked way over.  Garner was put through again, chased down the ball and after weaving around the keeper found a gaping net to ripple - the attempt from the angle was off target - a crucial miss methinks.  Knight had an audacious hoof next with a long range lob actually not that far off the mark.  The game bounced back and forth, Woods tried a cheeky free-kick next but the resident gloved guardian gathered with ease and then a breakaway came, a corner won and tipped away and soon after No 6 (Matthew Clarke) burst from the midfield pack, put in a close in shot that was saved by the visiting No 1 (Dave Szostok).  Styal began to up the ante when suddenly a long goal-kick came against the flow, bounced in the box and caused a defender to dilly and dally and allow Mulenda to slip in and grab the lead for the traveling team.  It was a bit of a shock but hey, there ya go, shit happens, the question is what is the response going to be?   The final stages of the first half saw Styal work hard, Golborne earn their crust and with a few moments of promise, a few mistimed kicks and much gusto we ended on something of a high.

We stayed put for half-time, consumed the rest of the Flapjack and had a natter.  The break was brief, with no floodlights there was no time to fanny about (or dick around if you require a politically correct balance).

Half two started with Styal springing from the traps like greyhounds with gonads dipped in curry sauce.  They were passing well and trying to pressurise their opponents into a rash faux pas.  Golborne remained disciplined and worked up a good lather with No 8 (George Reid) a real pesky customer.  As the hosts pushed Garner had a choice shot sweetly tipped over and then a sharply accurate corner was nutted on the line by the ever hungry Clarke who saw the mittman grab at point blank range.  No 12 (Zydane McCarthy-Brooks) had not been on the pitch long and provided the next surge with some good link up play, a dash to the corner and a sugar-sweet low cross.  No 3 (Shackeel Depeiaza) was on it, paused, took a touch and poked home to balance the books - what a decent match this was.

Onwards, Styal let fly with a few efforts, one wide, one botched by the goalie which led to a corner that was struck too firmly.  The hosts had their tails up now, a lightning cross came from S. Depeiaza, Knight glanced the ball with his bonse, the upright was quivered but no moment of orgasmic triumph was had - how deflating!  S. Depeiaza rushed forth once again and had one wondering what the Hell he had shoved up his arse during the break.  This time the fiery player was denied at the last by a prostrate keeper - it was still an eye-catching thrust.    There remained very little in this one but out of the blue Reid for the GS crew should have snatched the lead when he had only the keeper to beat and pushed his shot stray of the mark - one could almost see the air turn blue above the dug out as heads dropped in utter disbelief.

A crappy period followed as urgency rose and tired legs became desperate.  Styal were the first to emerge with any threat, J. Depeiaza took down a goal-kick with casual grace, set the wing on fire with a blur of legs and released a white hot cross.  Players lunged, the final touch was missed, now that would have been some goal.  A Styal sub had the next dig (sorry his name was not on the teamsheet), he was a hefty bugger and walloped the ball with wildman intent.  In the way was the flame-haired crust of No 16 (Rob Langford), the connection between globe and pate was shocking, how the Hell the defensive bod wasn't decapitated is beyond me but thankfully, after a short recovery on the deck, he rose to his feet and continued to contribute to his team’s efforts. 

Into the closing minutes, things became frantic, a cross ball came for Styal, a dummy had and in slipped J. Depeiaza who had acres of space and time to win this one.  The advanced player closed in on goal, the keeper slowly left his line, a shot came beneath the diving carcass - a quality finish had been executed in cool style, the game had been won at the death,  Golborne Sports had one last free-kick to salvage a point, into the wall it went and the final whistle rung out.  A quite lovely game this with quality and mistakes aplenty, an abundance of solid action and several performances of note.  Man of the Match goes to the fleet-footed No 11 of Styal (Jardel Depeiaza) who dashed like a Sausage Dog with two Donglers, worked the space well and was always keen to rattle forward and try and make a moment of magic - it was a fine stint for sure.  We wandered home happy with a decent night out cheers peeps.

FINAL THOUGHT - So, two teams at the back end of the campaign and bringing much entertainment for the few folk (about 24) who turned up and supported.  The score reflected a game that was close throughout with the difference just the rub of the green and the final touch of fortune falling to the home team.  Golborne Sports are right at the bottom of the league and tonight, looked like a team at the end of a long campaign. They have some good workhorses in the mix, they have some nice ideas but the main areas to work on are the running off the ball, tracking back and the width they use when in possession.  If these areas are worked on over the summer I guarantee next season there will be great strides made - it is all about incessant desire and stretching one's opponents this way and that.  Styal seem a unified side and have some very effective players within their team.  Some of the moves tonight were very fluent and rehearsed, that final ball though and attacking support are the only weak areas and with a bit of fine tuning a solid side will be there to be reckoned with.  The ground here is nice area, the guy who served us tea and flapjack an amiable chap, I think it goes without saying we will be back and I hope that many others will follow suit!

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