Wednesday, 7 August 2019

CHANCES WASTED, LOSS AND VICTORY TASTED

5th August 2019 - Maine Road 2 v 2 Abbey Hey - The day today was spent leading a wildlife walk, recording wildlife, having a quick read and then using public transport to get to the ground of my choice.  The good lady was doing yoga after work, I have tried it several times and ended up with a permanent U-bend in my John Thomas and a ruddy hunched-back - I'll stick to playing darts although even that has its moments has my one-eyed neighbour will testify.  Anyway, arriving early (5.15pm to be precise) I had a good catch up of my current book, 'The Guns of Navarone' by Alastair McClean - a tale of war, a thing I abhor, but this book has kept me rather enthralled.  I once read a similar book called 'The Buns of Al Capone' by Bugsy Bellend - it was a 600 page homage to the bullet-proof buttocks of the famed gangster - I was not convinced.  Away from these digressions and after a brew and a pie a few faces turned up with whom I wagged the mandible - namely John D, Gluebag Pete, Dave Potter and Andy Gray.  We all made predictions, I went for a rather outlandish scoreline, as per, I expected to be way off the mark come game end.  We all took up our positions, due to the curvature of the cock I had to be quite careful - darn that body-bending guru!

The opening soccerised sequences made for a rather open game but with very little in the way of tit-tingling action borne.  From a Hey corner the hosts broke with zeal, No 7 (Matthew Morgan) found himself with the globe, took one touch, cut inwards and shot mere inches over the bar.  From here the Blue Boys started to put together the classier moves and flowed with zoned in attention, the only thing lacking was the final precise pass.  As both sides began to feel each other out (surely a prison offence) the guests persistently looked to the right flank to find success.  There remained very little in it, the game began to die on its feet as both units snuffed each other out making for a very claustrophobic affair.  Out of the lapse Road spurted energy with No 11 (Jamie Hill) finding room and letting fly a fair hoof.  The ball sliced through the air with great impetus, alas the end result was another off target twatting - back to square one we go.

From out of nothing a superb through ball dissected the visiting ranks, Morgan received, looked to lay off but an impeding rear bod was in the way and the chance was banished to the files of 'wasted'.  No sooner had my scribbling pen left parchment than the same player had another dig.  I needn't have panicked - the shot was far from close.  The game was now warming up, Road's No 9 (Ben Davison) had two golden chances to break the deadlock, the first came after Hey's No 11 was robbed, the end shot was reckless.  The second opportunity saw a nip through and the goal beckon but the finalising dig lacked conviction and the keeper was down to save the day.  Maine Road continued to make most of the running whilst the Abbey mob absorbed and battled well.  Eventually the guests cultivated their first real chance via a rapid break that saw No 7 (Callum McGlynn) at the apex and place a lovely curling shot, around the mitter, that he was unfortunate to see ping off the upright.  As the half came to a close Road advanced with No 2 (Thomas Markham) putting in a more than adequate cross that No 8 (Ben Mooney) could only nut wide.  Again the Blue's surged, some neat feet in and around the box were exposed, it was all too quick for the Abbey Hey pack and when a sweet ball came a bumbling tackle was committed and a penalty awarded.  Morgan stepped up and took the spot kick.  The corner was picked but pace was lacking allowing the keeper to fling his carcass low and tidily save.  Before the half-time whistle Davison had yet another chance but the shot was duly blocked - it was a barren affair with the hosts pondering many 'what might have beens'.

For half-time I stayed put and nattered with the aforementioned folk.  It was sad to hear that John D was selling his sexual tea-pot collection and that Gluebag Pete had packed in the solvents and was now sniffing sawdust.  Good news came via David Potter though who has recently added a 4 fingered effigy to his plastic hand collection and good old Andy Gray has at last found someone who will cover up his Lionel Blair tattoo after a recent trip to Blackpool went all awry - what a world hey!

The teams came out for half two, Road were at it with Davison once again trying his luck but coming up short after a shot on the turn went shy of the vertical.  Hill had a crack soon after but elevation was indeed elevated and then Mooney was at the latter end of a rapier move but saw the keeper get down quicker than a manic depressive and keep his netting 'un-rippled'.  From here the Hey responded, No 4 (Matthew German) knocked a peach to the angle, a cross followed and No 8 (Luke Hincks) rose to head.  The keeper was in the way, gathered and started a move that saw No 10 (Jamie Roe) show impressive feet, lose the ball only for the opponents to dawdle and German to get robbed. Davison for the Blues wasted no time and eventually grabbed his, and the game's, first goal.  And about bloody time too!

Now the resident ranks moved with purpose, a sizzling cross followed a simple manoeuvre, a defensive header came but thumped the ball goalward, the save was absolutely first class and made sure this was still a viable contest.  After the visitors had a brief flurry The Road countered once more with Davison finalising the sequence.  Abbey Hey's goolies of hope were there to be squeezed, the shank swung and the ball was projected forth but the end execution was shabby to say the least and another lifeline was offered by the very charitable striker.

From a scrappy period with very little progress either way Abbey Hey swept forth in eye-catching style and were only finally snuffed out by a top notch tackle from the ever-industrious Roe.  Hey were undaunted, pressure came, a quite uncomplicated move bore fruit with a ball out wide, a cross and header leveling the scores and throwing this one up in the air.  The gatherer of the glory was No 9 (Dillon Kirkman) - it was perhaps against the run of play but Abbey Hey had stuck to their task and were deserved of this equaliser.  Into the last 10, the travellers were finishing strongly, the hosts looked slightly ruffled when a through ball came, a hopeful cross had and an uncertain No 4 (James Schofield) for The Road put his cranium on the sphere and found his own net.   A tragedy, a shocker, surely that was indeed...that!  Not so, the final gasps, the Blues were fighting to save the day, one of the subs had a swivel and shot in the box and found the side-netting.  A deflection had occurred, with seconds on the clock a corner was given.   The kick from the angle blazed in, many heads rose, it was a blue clad player that made the crucial connection, the underside of the bar was struck, the ball was buried, 2 - 2 and the whistle came immediately after.  Now that was a real unexpected finish - phew!

From the ashes of the game and after a brief post-mortem the Man of the Match goes to Abbey Hey's No 1 (Dane Smith) for a fine 'between the stick's effort that saw many stops and blocks keep his side in the game and for a general consistency that will surely save his sides bacon throughout the season.  On another day Maine Road could have had this one done and dusted, this gloved guardian certainly deserves the nod for his efforts.

FINAL THOUGHT - The crucial question from tonight's game was 'can we judge the 2 teams on the evidence so far and make a prediction as to where they will end up'?  I am sure we can't as there was nothing outstanding on show and nothing to suggest that either unit will sink or swim.  I have tipped Maine Road for a top 5 finish, that is neither here nor there with my predicting record, but I do expect good things from them, as long as they get that assassins blood surging through their veins and make sure that their hard, quick-footed work is finalised with many goals.   Too many chances were missed tonight, in the end it cost them and come season end these minor failures could count very heavily indeed.  Abbey Hey are a battling unit, made up of several ex-Cheadle Town players who all seem to have a good understanding of one another.   They did lack a creative streak tonight apart from a few players who were thinking on their feet and looking to unlock matters with many choice passes.  I think they will be OK come season end but August is a busy month and if momentum doesn't build soon and points start clocking up the mire awaits with its big gaping maw ready to devour - you have been warned.

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