LABOUR PARTY

17th August 2019 - Windle Labour FC 6 v 1 Denton Town - The grey, heavenly underpants are seemingly full of holes and the wearer has a problem with their hydraulic valve - hence the constant leakage that is falling on our bonses and making for one testing summer season.  Due to a severe overspill yesterday the footballing plans were up in the air as I was sure there would be postponements.  As I pondered where to go the skies turned black and another deluge came even though the forecasters said it was going to be a decent day.  From the darkness I was inspired to compose a letter to one Michael Fish, the missive took the form of a death threat, I think I am fully justified.  Just to be sure I made duplicates and sent them to John Kettley; Ian McCaskill and Carol Kirkwood.  A nude photo of Bill Giles was sent to all to show I meant business - keep watching the skies folks, we may be in for some sunny times, if not, Fishy gets it first, my conker propelling catapult holds no favours.  Eventually after a morn of more gardening duties for the mother in law (in glorious sun may I add), a swift sort out and a change, we made our way to the heady climes of Skelmersdale to watch a Cheshire League 1 affair.  STP Stu joined us, and after acquiring a brew we stood on the touchline with 13 other folk and watched the action unfold.

The away team had most of the early action, played at their own pace and looked to unlock a firm opposing defence.  A mistake from Windle's No 4 (Matthew Watkins) nearly resulted in the first goal but the hoof forward was very rushed indeed.  Denton came on again, No 7 (Matty Booth) sprung the offside trap, let the ball bounce once and duly boomed, the keeper watched the flight of the globe and made a concrete block.  The hosts seemed flustered and aggravated but they eventually gained a foothold and worked mighty hard to generate a first real chance at goal.  Despite Denton holding all the early cards they refused to play any real aces and farted around at the rear with the keeper guilty of indecision and fortunate to see a return shot not find the netting. The guests forced the issue, Booth away and crossing, No 10 (Liam Turner) nearly applied the killer execution, the emphasis unfortunately was on the 'nearly'.  

From the latest assault on goal Windle Labour countered, 19 (Danny Bate) worked the wing, cut in and hit a low cross that No 7 (Ryan Cook) got on the end of and touched home all too simply.  Seconds later a long ball from the back saw No 9 (Liam Bowden) collect, touch, turn and stroke home to double his side's lead, it was a nicely taken strike and really stunned the visitors to the soles of their feet.  The Town were looking in disarray, positional play was lacking, zonal marking absent and no sooner had I finished scribbling my thoughts than a third goal was conceded but luckily for Denton, was ruled offside.  The hosts were now on top, Bate was unlucky not to nip in and grab another, just that one step delay and the chance was gone.  Denton were playing too high, Labour's Cook tried to chip the keeper and was just off target and then the same player snuck in, the ball was hoofed away, Bate sent in a nob-numbing belter that the mitter just saved.  A collision followed, a leg was swung and after a bit of pushing and shoving the man between the sticks was requested to leave the pitch - I am still unsure why.

A shower now fell with spite, No 4 (James Grimes) of Denton took over the last man duties and was called into action when a low screamer needed neatly pushing around the post.  Soon after Bate was moving with menace, a sweet ball to No 10 (Dale Whitehead) saw a turn and a twat and a 3 - 0 scoreline set in stone - this game had all the signs of becoming a procession.  The home lads were keen to get a bagful, a free-kick saw a header boom off the bar, a follow-up shot ensued and was saved.  Due to the chilly rain I found myself desperately wanting an Arthur Bliss, I am a man of 53, the prostate gland is not what it was - I dashed for the comfort of the karsi as the half-time whistle blew - in utter darkness the plumbing was flushed through, I could have broke into song with relief.

A cuppa for half-time and a ham sandwich, back out and with the front of my pants urine-free, a now whipping wind revitalising the senses the game restarted with much ardour.

No sooner had the second half began than The Town were once again spending too much time on the ball at the back allowing Cook to gain possession, shoot and see the ball crawl over the line - game, set and match, but will the lesson ever be learned by the visiting rearguard.  Denton somehow bagged a corner next, the ball was knocked long over all rising bonses, No 5 (Cole McGrath) was waiting at the back post to bury - surely this wasn't the beginning of the comeback of all comebacks.  From here though, after a rather balanced period, Windle worked hard, Denton played the ball back to the keeper way too many times but the guests eventually broke and won a free-kick that No 9 (Nathan Lewis) placed on target with the home mitter doing well to push behind.  The following corner was shite.

I will give Denton due credit here as they began to boss the game and try and find a way back in.  Windle were indeed playing into the dull wind, it was no easy task but when a long ball was mopped up and returned with added interest and a quick cross came, the touch home by Bate put this one out of sight for the travelling team and certainly killed the game as a contest.  The bolt of Denton now seemed shot, the hosts passed the ball and won a throw-in from a quite innocuous position.  The ball was tossed, all heads and legs missed it, Cook was their to collect and rifled one towards goal - pick that out - 6 - 1, where's the champagne, the hat-trick hero has a thirst.  The latter stages saw Booth and No 12 (Ryan Millington) have pops for the trailing pack, both with little success.  No 6 (Liam McDowell) bust a bollock to beat 2 players next and was crudely grounded.  He was fully justified in venting his spleen and asking the referee, in raised tones, whether he was mad.  The follow-on verbals saw the player sent to the bin of sin and as the game closed in somewhat messy fashion Denton could consider things, all in all, a shit day at the office.  Man of the Match for me goes to Windle Labour's No 4 (Matthew Watkins) who, after the opening slip, recovered well, was loquacious throughout, always read matters for himself and his teammates and was a real stubborn rock in defense that, like a Herring Gull with a bag of chips, gave sweet FA away.  It goes without saying that as we 3 onlookers pootled off home none of us had predicted the score-line - the unpredictability is what makes this non-league lark so ruddy fascinating.

FINAL THOUGHT - In sun, rain and wind we came and we witnessed and went home wondering.  After considering the culmination of events it seems to me that Denton Town need to get their act together and do it darn quickly.  How many times did we see the ball played back to the keeper today?  Too darn many if you ask me but what is the cause?  A lack of options, a lack of confidence, a lack of movement - it is the first area to sort and that is for sure.  Secondly the lack of width seems a concern, why are they not playing the flanks and stretching teams.  Thirdly, when up shit creek why not go for it?  I remain baffled but hey, all I have is a viewpoint, and so do many others - I am just being transparent and hopefully helpful.  There is enough skill within the weave, a lot of work needs doing to get each component working as part of one well-oiled machine.  Windle Labour looked good today, they seemed sharp, used all areas of the pitch and had many players hollering for a piece of the action.  They do 'switch off' at times, just ask the Man of the Match who bellowed at his comrades to keep on it.  They seem to have a good morale though, let us hope in stickier moments on tougher days they stay focused and stay supportive of one another - if so, they will do just fine.  It was a nice trip out this, the Cheshire League offers great entertainment that is primarily free -  big up to all who make this happen.