TIME TO GRAB THE FISH BY THE TAIL

19th August 2019 - Stockport Town 4 v 1 New Mills - The 2 sides on show tonight had competed in 7 matches so far between them and amassed a grand total of 1 point, this being grabbed by the hosts at the weekend.  So, as a result, this was an early season game of crucial proportions that could be used as a springboard, for either team, to get the season up and running.  The season is open, there is much to smash and grab but like a rather nervous kleptomaniac roaming the local high-street, if one spends to much time window-shopping rather than taking the plunge and filling one's pockets, the end result will be sheer dejection and a feeling of not making the most of a situation.  When I was a lad I indulged in such an adventure when pilfering Haddock from Mr Fillets Sexual Fish Bar.  I wasted no time I can tell ya and for several weeks after I ate like a Lord of the Ocean albeit smelling rather dubious and having Mrs Fillet knocking on my door accusing me of shitting in the scampi tray.  This situation may seem like a digression but it highlights the fact that if one commits and prepares to plunder, the gut of expectation can be filled.  Tonight I walked to the ground, it was 4.5 miles and took me a while as I was looking at wildlife on the way and got distracted looking into a window of a chippy and rekindling memories of Piscean misdemeanours.  I met STP Stu just prior to getting to the ground and upon arrival at the Woodley Sports Centre we had plenty of time to spare before kick off and were very grateful to the ever amiable Chairman Rob York for giving us a brew, a couple of biscuits and a place to park our rears.  Many fine folk arrived, were chatted with and asked for predictions, I may as well come clean now and state that not one person got the score correct, it seems I am not the only ill-informed crackpot in town.  Eventually we all chose our viewing points, we all expected goals, as it turned out we weren't disappointed.

The hosts were straight on it, No 3 (Jack McConnell) intercepted, ran the wing like a charging rhino in need of a toilet break and duly won a corner - alas the gratis kick from the angle saw no triumph had.  The guests worked hard to gain some semblance of a foothold, eventually No 7 (Joel Riley) flew the flank, crossed and forced a defensive error - the keeper did well just to recover matters.  From here the home team began to get the better of things, McConnell and No 9 (Kiarno Samms) produced a small episode of choice link-up play with the latter player side-footing a shot that strayed just off target.  As The Millers got pushed back they looked devoid of ideas, this looked set to be a very long night for the travelling pack.  No 10 (Kyle Foley) of The Town sent in a range finder that warmed the keepers hands and then, as the visitors pushed, the hosts burst out of jail via a ball from McConnell that was nothing short of a stunner.  No 7 (Jesurun Uchegbulam) let the globe bounce, weaved through a defender and the mitter and gave himself time to stroke home into the awaiting net - this first strike was thoroughly deserved by a team very much 'on it'.

Town followed up this initial strike with a pate-blistering corner, Samms was waiting at the back post and duly applied his bonse to the ball but could only find the underside of the bar - in truth it should have been a goal.  The home lads were undeterred however and maintained their rampaging ways but No 9 (Taylor Maguire) of New Mills strove to offer hope with a dig out of the blue that disappointingly soared way over the horizontal.  A Town free-kick came next, the keeper palmed away and then a period of sustained pressure followed that duly led to another gratis hoof being awarded just outside the box.  No 8 (Robert Lofthouse) took charge, swung the shank and sent in a drilling drive that the keeper did well to block.  The guardian of the goal though was unfortunate to see the loose ball gobbled up and spat back into the net by the awaiting vulture, No 5  (Thomas Greenfield).  

It 2 goals down it was good to see New Mills delve deep despite being reduced to 10 men for a short period when a conk was clattered. They held their own with their No 2 (Michael Bowler) the most noteworthy player who was getting quite frustrated by the lack of options on the pitch.  The said player made one quite exceptional run and put in a cross that No 11 (Adam Miles) walloped first time, it was close and perhaps gave a sign of a turning tide.  The half ended with in a state of equilibrium, offering hope to the trailing team and keeping the hosts honest - time for a brew and some choccy methinks.

A wander and the said victuals were partaken of. A chat with some more grand folk and some shock news via the fine gentleman that is David Potter (Cheadle Heath Nomads Coach) who had changed his pre-match prediction and gone for 28 - 1 to Stockport Town.  Now I know Mr Potter is prone to moments of capriciousness due to a high intake of acid and powdered egg but this was something else - in the purple technicolor haze of trippy football though, one just never knows,  In fact as myself and Stu rode back to our viewing spots on banana-flavoured camels that continually discharged rivers of kaleidoscopic crap we did wonder if Mr Potter was on to something good.  I am also sure I saw a girl named Lucy in the stands, with diamonds in her night black hair, and starry glints in her bloodshot eyes.

Back to the game, once again Town started brightest, a free-kick was earned. Lofthouse was the man at the helm again, he sent in a shot that had ideal height, generous swerve and enough clobber to hit the underside of the bar and drop into the net - what a fine strike, what a great way to almost put this game out of reach!  Within the quiver of a fat lasses mammary the same situation arose again, this time the ball was propelled low and hard, the keeper did mighty well to turn it around the post for a corner.  The resultant hoof in was wayward, New Mills were hanging on by the skin of their scrotum (ouch).

The Millers now responded, a cross followed a free-kick, Maguire nutted, the keeper was in the right place at the right time.  Another bonus boot was had, No 10 (Carlos Meakin) delivered, the globe was defended and returned with vicious venom, the bar was vibrated with violence, the ball was there to be buried and up popped No 4 (Ewan Roach) and we were suddenly at 3 - 1.  The Lions were now shocked, a streaking attack came, a corner and then a free-kick that Lofthouse drove.  A deflection over denied a certain goal, it was a shame the follow-on corner was rubbish.  Shots came at each end, the goals remained untroubled but this was a decent match with still plenty of life remaining.

As the half progressed things remained fairly balanced, half chances came at each end with Mills busting guts and giving a decent account of themselves after the quite shabby first half.  Several times the guests came, some last ditch defending, a wayward pass and just bad luck hindered the flow and then a short corner was played, a cross followed and Meakin rose to put a firm crust on the awaiting globe.  The ball left the barnet with pace, it was disappointing to say the least to see the top corner of the framework clattered.  

Unexpectedly The Town cultivated an attack, a shot on the turn came from nothing, the keeper did well to block, the ball went loose and No 11 (Reece Skelton) was quickest to react and bagged his teams 4th of the night - I had a feeling that was that!  In truth it should have been 5 not long after when The Millers were robbed of possession, Samms knocked forth a delicious pass, Uchegbulam collected and slapped toward goal, the man between the uprights produced a solid block.  During the last minutes, and the 4 added on, much frenetic action came, the only dig of note came via a Town player who let fly with great gumption and generated a shot that absolutely boomed the bar.  Moments later and we were done, dusted and far from rusted.  Man of the Match for me goes to Stockport Town's No 3 (Jack McConnell) who, from the off was alert, oozing talent, keen and willing to run this way, that way or wherever he was needed.   Some great passing, quick feet and zoned in concentration was admirable and all done without verbal bullshit and with a fine attitude - the future could be bright for this chap!  

FINAL THOUGHT - And so to the end analysis - and what of New Mills.  Well they are a team in trouble I feel and one who need to shake their tail and get swimming against a confounding current very, very soon.  They have several fixtures coming up which are now of 'red alert' importance and I reckon if they don't win one of the next two league fixtures they will be up the famed River Shitty in a leaking boat with only a jelly paddle to get them to safety.  Tonight though the second half spirit was a good sign, it is all about decisions and options when on the ball and making room off the ball to make the most of each and every opportunity - it is easier said than done and when I pop up to their gaff over the coming months it will be interesting to see what state they are in.   Stockport Town have finally got their season running, is it a sign of good times ahead, is it a result against poor opposition that may just be deceiving upon the peepers?  Only time will tell.   For me, the team have too many good players within the weave to not make the mid-table grade at least but, if those players don't play as a unit and bury their chances when they come then things can soon get rather tricky and pressurised.  Judging by tonight's efforts though they should be leaping like salmon up the league ladder and making a splash here and there for many teams.  The corner may have just been turned, in the meantime I am off to Frisky Freda's Friary - I could thrash a cod.