BASE TO APEX - ALL SQUARE

24th September 2019 - New Mills 3 v 3 West Didsbury and Chorlton -  In the lower reaches of the North West Counties League First Division South one will find New Mills FC with 8 games played and only 2 points on the board.  They are having a right old struggle this time around but since I last saw them have had a managerial change and seem to be suggesting some promise (so I hear).  West Didsbury & Chorlton on the other hand are flying high, were my pre-season tip to go up as champions (well that's them buggered then) and look to be playing well and worthy of their 4th position with 19 points collected.  So, as any statistician will tell you, after various calculations and scanning graphs, the outcome tonight will be an away win.  Taking heed of this situation I decided to place a wager with Fine Fettle Frank the unorthodox Turf Accountant who offered me a return of 3 ironing boards and a day trip to Plumpton for a mere bet of 3 knitted cardigans and a pair of Derek Nimmo Y-fronts. I scanned a few charity shops, got lucky and placed my bet - I was looking forward to wearing some neatly pressed clothes whilst strolling around the East Sussex Parish very soon.  Myself and my good lady arrived in plenty of time for kick-off and purchased a cuppa, took a seat and were joined by a grand couple we know who are regulars at this ground (and several others).  We all made predictions, as it turned out, we were all wrong but none of us were complaining come the end of a fine Non-League game.

As soon as the whistle blew the action was high with the guest's No 9 (James Cottee) working room, walloping hard and finding the net in no uncertain terms. It was a pure, quality strike, it was an outrageously great way to start the game and a serious dick kick for the hosts.  From this shock the hosts got a foothold in the game with their first attack finalised by No 9 (Michael Norton) who let fly but pulled his shot wide.  A corner came the same way moments later, No 5 (Adam Jones) rose but his glabrous bonse failed to get enough purchase on the ball.  In return WDC progressed with No 8 (Lee Gavin) exposing quick feet and getting tumbled for his exhibitionism.  A free-kick was given, the result was utter bilge.  An angled kick came at the opposite end of the pitch next, in and out the ball went before No 7 (Ryan Shenton) cracked one that wasn't too far off the target zone.

New Mills continued to work with determined gumption, they were certainly a far better prospect than when I last saw them.  A long free-kick followed, it needed tipping over with the corner leading to product 'nothing'.  The Dids broke, No 4 (Callum Jones) weaved along the wing, played in a low ball that was touched on allowing Gavin to have a pop between a melee of players.  The shot had fair pace, the accuracy however was lacking - over!  A moment of bog-basic long ball football followed, WDC hoofed long, a defensive header was missed and Cottee was in.  The keeper advanced to try and rescue the situation, the attacker negotiated the stickman, was forced wide but still got his shot away - a groan went up when the side-netting was hit - now that was a real close-call.

The game was very well balanced now, Cottee had a flick header over the bar for the guests and then New Mills were forced to make a substitution as Dennis Sherriff was taken off.  The half continued with very little threat until New Mills won a corner in as quite dangerous position with very little time left of the first 45.  The ball was disappointingly thumped into the wall, a corner was the outcome.  I expected little, No 12 (Benito Lowe) rose and put me right, the ball left bonse and found the net at just the right moment, 1 - 1 and 45 minutes done.  One last shot came from No 7 (Ryan Shenton) after a brace of beefed up tackles saw the ball squirt loose.  The strike was solid, a gasp of anticipation came, the low drive was mere inches wide – the half was done.

For half time we had a natter and a bit of chocolate - all predictions were still on and my wager was looking good, I could almost taste the toxic air of Plumpton - ooh the excitement.

As was the case in the first period the WDC pack were out quickest with Jones a real thorn in the side.  First he had a header go just wide and then a threaded pass was played and only just intercepted at the last much to the relief of the scampering home crew.  The fiery passion radiated by the travelers was too much for one of the New Mill's players who had to have a session in the sin-bin to cool his rising ill-temper.  WDC's Cottee had a crack soon after, just too high and then dug out another effort that was blocked by the determined No 9 (Michael Norton) with the follow-up curler by Jones neatly saved by a partially unsighted mittman.  Another blazing shot came from the mounting pressure, Norton's defensive header was outstanding and several more efforts failed to find the back of the mesh.  New Mills were relieved when they were back up to 11 players but it made no difference to the flow of the game.  West Dids came on, the next goal looked to be theirs but The Millers broke and sent a warning shot across the boughs with Jones suggesting that this game was far from over.  The hosts came again, Lowe was out wide and wormed in a fine low ball that Shenton collected and thwacked with great purpose.  The strike was superbly crisp, the keeper was beaten, 2 - 1 it was, somehow The Millers had defied the odds and turned this one on its head.

From here the visitors played with manic urgency. The hosts played with a resolute focus and refused to get ruffled.  A free-kick needed attention though as The West progressed with undying effort.  The ball was delivered, a flick on followed, No 5 (Christopher Middleton) gathered, turned and shot first time,  the globe hugged the verdant carpet, the keeper stretched out a mitt but all to no avail as the bottom corner was penetrated - by crikey man, this was a very good session of soccerised entertainment.  West Didsbury & Chorlton were far from happy at this point though they wanted the full 3 point prize and summoned a rapid attack that needed a last ditch tackle to kill the danger.  A penalty shout was waved away by the lass in the middle, the action remained hectic.

A midfield contest now ensued, within the mix WDC's No 16 (Dylan Moloney) found himself in possession in a situation best described as 'average'.  The fact he chanced a shot from distance seemed ludicrous, the fact that the ball was propelled with decent pace, bounced once just before the keeper seemed a one in a million chance but that chance bore fruit and the player looked over the moon.  It was a cruel blow, after all the hard work to get back in this one the hosts were trailing once more but full credit for their opponents and their sharp work and perpetual dynamism.  

The entrails of the game were now slopped down before all to examine, an autopsy was looming, what would be the final verdict.  After the home keeper produced an awful kick Cottee for The West had a chance to seal matters but the back-pedaling No 1 (Alexander Fowell) recovered the situation and pushed the shot onto the upright.  We now entered the last minute with very little to be added on, Lowe forced himself forth for the trailing team, he entered the box and was clumsily bumbled to the floor - the decision was immediate 'penalty'.  Shelton stepped up, waited whilst order was restored and shook off any pressure and buried the ball to get this 6 goal thriller back to parity - what a turn up for the books of unpredictability and what a way to shit on my hopes of predicting the score.  One last punt at goal was had by the hosts but the shot was skied and then we were done and left to reflect. This had been a beauty, there were some outstanding efforts but I thought New' Mill's No 9 (Michael Norton) was exemplary and displayed all of his experience all over the pitch and reiterated that a good footballing brain can help win the day and set an example to all his teammates on a night that they were really up against it.  Cracking effort.  There may not be any champagne awarded to the player of my choice but I am sure I can send a tea-bag through the post.

FINAL THOUGHT -  I am so glad I made this game, it was a night of swinging fortunes with the pendulous nob of Old Man Fortune never resting in one specific place.  Both teams worked mighty hard and were well matched throughout - a fascinating contest that was for sure and one that no punter can have any complaints with.  New Mills are rejuvenated, they are destined to end the season in mid-table rather than the probable arse end where they seemed destined for only a few weeks ago.  Tonight they played with a great coherence and more than held their own against a team I think will definitely be promoted.  Any teams coming to the Church Lane ground had now better watch out, it will be one tough contest that now goes without saying.   West Didsbury and Chorlton are a decent unit, they always give good value and despite last year's shock relegation they do look set to bounce back like the eternal rubber ball.  They have an abundance of options, a certain pace within the ranks and most importantly...a good solid fan base.  At this level having frequent good turn-outs and lots of backing on the touchline can make so much difference - this lot will do just fine although the latest minor blips do need correcting as soon as before a certain rot sets in.  And that is that, I have seen 9 matches this month and am averaging 5 goals a game, I never have any complaints, I have one game left for September - anything less than 5 goals and I will be not happy, in fact I will not be an happy bunny stood in overly creased clothes with no day release ticket to Plumpton - and that real does stick in the craw.