SAFFRON SPICE WINS THE DAY

21st September 2019 - Tower Hamlets 2 v 3 Saffron Walden Town - Today we were dropping our dancing daughter back down London (Stratford to be exact) where she will reside in a rented house with her mate and start her 3rd year at University. She is doing a Dance Degree and good on her, I have never advanced from doing a pissed up pogo and even though I won ‘Come Dancing’ back in 1972 that was due to me blackmailing Angela Rippon after I caught her pinching Some Vesta Curries from her local Safeway Store. Of course after dropping off and unpacking some shopping was needed and I only felt it my Christian duty to offer to be out of the way rather than hinder the spending process.  I was duly dropped off at the Mile End Stadium for a bit of footy. I chatted with a few peeps from the 20+ crowd and watched the tangerine clad hosts take to the pitch with their blue attired opponents. This was an Essex Senior League fixture - I expected goals, I got 5 - this is how they came, who got them and what went on in between.

No sooner had the globe got rotating and a surge of orange saw the hosts squirt juices of promise.  No 11 (Deese Kasinga) displayed good skill on the end of a cross, let go a shot that was outstandingly blocked by the guest No 5 (Scott Pethers).  Next and the home No 7 (Yoan Edoukou), propelled by lengthy pins, flew the flank, executed several step-overs before ripping forth a howitzer from all of 25 yards.  The ball flew through the clement air, the goalkeeper began to reach outwards, it was all too late as the ball busted the net and got this game of in ruddy fantastic style.  From here the guests got into gear, burst forward but were caught on the hop with a long kick that saw a defender and their goalkeeper get their knickers in knots and nearly gift a goal to the leading team.  Somehow matters were dealt with the the danger was quelled.

Attacks now came in quick succession at each end, the Saffron Walden squad were caught offside on a couple of occasions, No 9 (Suaibo Balde) nearly threaded a colleague through but was thwarted by some quick thinking and then No 10 (Jack Leachman) produced some choice work in the corner for the visitors, hoofed in a great cross that No 11 (Stuart Collins) struck with venom that absolutely stung the underside of the bar.  The globe bounced outward and was somewhow cleared - what a hectic period this was.  The Walden lads came once more but Kasinga for the oranges read the situation, led a break after robbing No 4 (Ross Adams) and put the ball into situation 'problematic'.  A pass was made, Edoukou was the recipient, dug out a low shot - 2 - 0 it was, this was a surprise considering the league position but in truth, it was a thoroughly deserved lead.  

The Tangerine Towers were now very much in control, another attack came, Edoukou played to No 2 (Benas Vaibada) who popped one to the back post that No 4 (Anthony Folkes) did well to connect with but only managed to push wide.  The excitement levels remained elevated, the Saffrons came down the outside, a cross followed, No 10 (Jack Leachman) had a crack and rattled the bar in no uncertain terms.  The ball came back out, the return shot was untamed and way over.  No 7 (Gavin Cockman) had a dig soon after working space in the tightest of spots but only finding the meat of the mittman's carcass.  No sooner had this latest onslaught taken place than we were down the other end of the pitch, No 10 (Ryan Murad) struck one, the goalie blocked, Balde followed up, another save came, what a fine value match this was.

The run down to the break, a Ring Necked Parakeet flew by, my arse was a trifle numb, I could thrash a cup of cha.  A drinks break saw the game move on, Murad for the hosts was caught dawdling in the rear, Adams for the traveller's needed no second invitation, pilfered, picked his spot and put the ball into the net - game back on.  The latter stages of this first period became fractured, a crap free-kick, an injury delay and a few dubious refereeing decisions didn't help matters.  A touch of temperamental thermality invaded proceedings, one last flashing cross for the visitors came, Leachman bravely put a bonse on the searing sphere but the pace was too much and the ball went wide.  Half-time came, I think there can be no complaints.

Tea and a chat with a couple of decent peeps was had, all seemed to be enjoying this one, including the lady behind me who was supporting the away pack and seemed quite animated by all that was transpiring.  She was either intrigued, passionate or on the wrong medication - you gotta watch the doctors these days, I was one prescribed a lotion for nipple cramps and ended up with two black knackers and a rash on my right buttock - and all the day before I visited the nudist camp on Clacton - I was not a happy man.

Part 2, Balde for the hosts was an instant menace, a corner was put in and cleared and then a shot had that the mittman did well to save.  The travellers reacted, a cross, a corner, a throw in and another cross.  The latter foot to ball contact was a cross by No 2 (Spike Bell), the keeper was caught with his conkers dangling in the Land of Indecision, the ball ended up in the night - this one was going to the wire folks.  The peckers of the born-again side were now trembling with hope, a cross came, Cockman darted in and had an effort just off-line.  A free-kick soon followed, the No 9 (Scarborough) got his cranium on the ball - the contact was too solid, the keeper was happy to see it fly over the horizontal.

Tower Hamlets now found a second wind, Saffron Walden Town though were maintaining their shape and not making things easy.  The home No 15 (Ezra Ndukuba) eventually broke the defensive shackles and won a corner through nothing more than great desire.  The angled globe entered the box, the lack of venom made it too easy for the opposition who broke, surged and won a bonus boot.  The free-kick came, the home keeper jumped and missed his punch, he was lucky to see the ball drop wide.  Again the Hamleteers were found to be arsing in defence, Leachman robbed and released, the shot had little punch, the hosts breathed a sigh of relief as things could have been a whole lot worse.  A corner came, the ball was played into the near post, the keeper punched with a lack of conviction and the end result was an own goal - what a blooper, what a turn-around, what a tragedy!  Sometime luck shits with spite on an unsuspecting victim, today the man between the sticks was stuck beneath the karma-cruel crappery.

The home team now made 2 subs and hoped to generate new life into proceedings, a Grey Squirrel was totally unconcerned and nipped on the pitch to bury a few nuts - t'was a shame as he was missing a good game.  Leachman had another pop but couldn't find the target, No 12 (Brandon Daniel) at the other end did well to elongate his neck and get a header in that No 6 (Jamie Riley) nutted over and into safety. The ensuing corner was collected, thwacked long with Scarborough hitting first time, the block that came was resounding.  Back the other way we went, the hosts were urgent but after several neat passes around the box no-one was willing to pull the trigger and another chance went begging.

The final throes, like the first half, were spasmodic, slightly unruly and lacked discipline.  All the while Saffron Walden Town had one eye on the clock and looked to see things out to the final whistle.  This they did with a certain ease, the game had been grabbed from a situation, that at one time, looking to be almost impossible.  For me, a key component in the renaissance and Man of the Match was Saffron Walden Town's No 2 (Spike Bell) who worked with tenacity, remained calm when it mattered, played many sensible balls and who caused various problems for the opposition with various runs and probing balls. This had been a decent sting in a decent match, next time I am down this way I hope to catch these teams again.

FINAL THOUGHT -  I had enjoyed my foray into the realms of the Essex Senior League and thought this was a very competitive game with many quality players on show.  Today the hosts played in a Jekyll and Hyde manner and at times produced some very effective liquid football that smoothly flowed, saw many choice passes made and indicated a great awareness between the players.  At other times though they played too deep, just lacked an overall discipline and couldn't string a pass together if their lives depended on it.  The key is just getting the consistency right, this will come on the training ground and if sorted, they will be a team to be reckoned with.  What I saw of Saffron Walden Town today was a team start slowly, seem out of sync and somehow get their rears in gear, dig in deep and grind out a win even when their chips were right down the U-bend and ready to be flushed to the outer realms of 'Shitsville'.  The sign of a good team is to win when not playing at their best and their position in the league seems to be no fluke.  Thanks to these two units I now have another league to check on week in, week out - in my busy life this is a twang in the testes but I am not complaining - honest and I hope I will be back.  Cheers to all for a good 90 minute session of raw and real football - you really can't beat it.