Monday, 2 September 2019

OF THAT PILK (PART THE SECOND)

31st August 2019 - Pilkington FC 3 v 2 Atherton Laburnum Rovers - The second game of the day, the 12th of the month, not bad for folk who are rushed all ways and dabbling in many areas.  The first match ended Pilkington FC Reserves 5 v 0 Golborne Sports, the hour between games was spent eating chunky chips, chatting and doing the Daily Express Cryptic Crossword.  15 across posed a real problem that we eventually cracked although we did have to strain the cerebral sphincter to shit out the solution, here is the clue, 'The Rude Salt wrongly forces out the rectal reptile' - the answer will appear at the end of this wayward report...and so to the match.  A Buildbase FA Vase 1st Round Qualifier featuring a team I hadn't seen before and one I had come across many times and whose ground I was more than familiar with.  The outcome was anyone's guess but leaning was had towards the visitors who were doing alright for themselves this season after a couple of years in troublesome turmoil.  As with all cup games though, one just never knows, hence the interest and excitement.  So, without further ado, let the globe rotate, the ham-shanks gallop and the meshing be bulged in many ways (ooh err).

The ball was nudged from the centre spot, a promising opening gambit was played by the Pilks as ALR looked to be unsettled at the back.  The initial threat was trumped, by hard work, good fortune and an atrocious downpour.  As folks headed for cover the hosts won a free-kick.  The ball was delivered by No 11 (Phil Makin) with adequate pace and accuracy, all heads were a little late in rising but a final crust came that wasn't that far off breaking the deadlock.  In response the guests came on strong, it was a shame that No 7's (Yuuf Isah) shot was outrageously bad.  A free-kick came next, it was sent toward the same goal, No 11 (Dylan Jeffs) tried his luck but the distance and lack of zip failed to shake up the nervous system of the keeper who easily gathered.  No 9 (Drew Matthews) had a pop the other end, it wasn't a bad do, just too elevated to create touchline excitement.

Now a pattern began to develop with the Atherton team pushing.  No 2 (Nathan Moore) for the hosts was having none of it though and after winning the ball ran down the flank like squirrel late for a nutfest.  The end line was attained, a cut back taken and a cross made for a colleague who touched goalward but who was denied by a keeper in the right situation when required.  From this lively affair 2 corners came either way, there was nowt doing but the first strike was definitely on the cards, I could feel it in my water.  As Atherton headed forth the Pilko Pack pinged like on one of Mr Ali Bongo's highly sprung willies he keeps in his box of sexual, magical delights (or was that a dream).  Makin was at the pinnacle of the breakway, the shot was more than adequate, the save however was resolute.

Like the body of an arthritic, things became disjointed, both teams were working hard, in some ways snuffing out each other's potential.  Unexpectedly the Road poured forth, a ball tore the opposing pack a new ringpiece, a quick touch opened matters up a little further (ouch) and the cool penetration was achieved as No 9 (Connor Comber) stepped up and stroked home.  The game was now on, the police came and tried to take away my suggestive notes, I claimed diminished responsibility and offered them a free preview of my Nobby Nobson series, I was just given a 'tut, tut' and left to carry on with my observational scribblings.

The game was now afoot (keep up Dr Watson), Moore for the home team tried darn hard to lead a comeback, he was tumbled for his efforts.  A free-kick came, Makin delivered, No 5 (Miguel Gillam) followed with a bold header that went...over!  Towards the closure of the opening half we went, myself and my good lady were chomping on Yoghurt Raisins whilst absorbing the action, some ALR pressure followed with a killer ball found.  No 10 (Freddie Stevens) was quick to react and, a fraction of a second before the whistle, the ball was knocked into the net and 0 - 2 it was, the half-time team talks would be of opposing ilks methinks.

We stayed put for the break as we had already had a brew and some chips and, in truth, we couldn't be arsed to move and queue up for more grub.  We whittled down the crossword and left it with one troublesome clue, thank goodness the teams came back out before my mind melted. 

The early happenings of this second half came via the feet of the trailing team who, ran into a brick defensive wall and was repaid by a dazzling move that had ALR's Isah as its chief component and Comber at the apex of proceedings.   The keeper was alert to all peril, he left his line and found himself with his trousers down in the Land of Nowhere.  A cross came, luckily for the Pilks a defender got in the way and crapped on the rising consternation.

A sin-binning followed, the home 15 (Callum Laird) was sent to the dug-out to pray for forgiveness and confess all to the touchline Vicar.  Whilst on the pitch both sides looked for the next goal, and then, out of the bracing climate of dirty grey the hosts advanced, a low drilling ball was fired right across the goalmouth.  The visiting defenders were akin to Buster Crabbe when starring as that space adventurer Buck Rogers, and caught in a state of suspended animation.  Like Professor Zarkoff hepped up on one of his own experimental mixtures, in popped No 10 (Matty Taylor) to slam home and unexpectedly pull one goal back - the home supporters were ecstatic, the travellers sounded rather miffed - ah such is footballing life.

No sooner had the deficit been reduced than the equaliser was nearly had when Taylor chased, beat a reaching keeper and placed a shot on target that was firmly defended behind.  The corner that came was wasted.    A free-kick came next, the Pilkington lads were on the up and Taylor was becoming a real consternation in the conkers.  A ball entered the box with pace, the keeper's punch was unconvincing, a leg was swung to fire in a return shot, only fresh air was struck.  As Pilkington remained in the ascendency ALR tried to hang in but could only provide a few sub-standard shots.  A guest player was sin-binned next, a few subs came, several yellow cards needed brandishing.  Moore for Pilko was still full of running, he provided a cross, full contact was lacking, that could have been the equaliser folks.

Now The Rovers found a second wind, bombed away, No 12 (Mason Ryan) for the hosts dealt with matters, knocked a long ball to the corner, a cross followed, an attacking player raced into the box, contact was made, a penalty was given.  Up stepped Laird with all the responsibility on his shoulders.  The ball was struck with sanguinity, the keeper lunged but failed to make the save, all square folks, extra time was beckoning.  From here matters went to and fro with much urgency, it was to no avail, the full time whistle went, added time it was.

The first half of extra time came, the opening stages were quiet when Laird for the hosts burst through, had two markers on his tail one of whom was pulling the attacker's shirt.  The green-clad player only had an eye for goal, he admirably stayed on his feet, kept his composure and knocked in the lead goal to make the full comeback complete - the home fans were more than a little delighted, I am sure a couple of the old boys near me were remembering a time of spontaneous erections and surging pheromones of excitement, then again!  The remaining minutes of period one saw scares come at either end, it was an enthralling episode but it ended with the resident pack now 1 goal to the good.

The second period soon followed, ALR had a fine spell of pressure, Comber scrapped away up front and managed to get a toe poke toward the goal.  The keeper dropped like a sack of shit weighted down with even more shit - he saved the day despite my crude comparisons.   The guest No 3 (Layton Clough) had a free-kick next, over the bar it went and then after a PIlk's shot was saved without fuss the home keeper was underfire from two players who looked to create the equalising chance.  Within the confusion the gloved one somehow grabbed the globe.  Laird had a chance for Pilkington when more stubbornness was shown, he turned in the box after holding off his marker and shot just shy of the vertical.  Soon after the net was found by the home team, an offside flag dampened the joy but it didn't matter as, after a few semi-attacks, proceedings were called to a halt.  I had to go for a Man of the Match and opted for a substitute namely Pilkington's No 12 (Mason Ryan) who caught the eye due to his totally controlled performance, settling influence, accuracy of passing and quite noticeable footballing brain.  I think he made a quite serious difference to the game, it was no coincidence that when he graced the pitch the home team really started to turn matters around.

FINAL THOUGHT - Well what a good game on the opening day of the FA Vase Competition.  Atherton Laburnum Rovers turned up to get stuck in and after getting 2 goals in front looked to have come and done the business.  They should have gone on to finish this one but were eventually pushed onto the back foot and became rather flustered.  They need to have a Plan B and when on the back foot have a few alternative breakaway options to keep their opponents thinking.  Having said this, the team's early league position promises much and there were several areas today that showed they have turned a huge corner and are on the right track.  Pilkington looked to be in trouble today, showed great character and somehow crawled back into this, got their noses in front and wouldn't be denied a place in the next round.  Their No 2 (Nathan Moore) is a great release valve, they have some good battling midfield players and they communicate well even when the shit is being hurled at the fan.  Their league position doesn't reflect what I saw today, hopefully they will start moving up the league soon, they just need to make sure they make things easier and don't start getting into games when 2 goals behind.  Mind you, for a neutral, it is a quite ideal scenario!  The answer to the crossword clue was 'Turtles Head' now how did I miss that one!

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