The kick-off came, a sharp ball for the hosts was almost instantaneous and saw No 10 (Layton Smith) nip past the sleeping defenders and execute a delectable lob over the advancing keeper and get the first goal of the night - wow. Denton tried to respond at once, No 6 (Ryan Millington) had a header over, No 7 (Sakib Islam) let fly a wild arse ripper that ruptured the night sky and then No 10 (Liam Ellis) raced forth, let loose a shot that caught the inside of the post that gave enough time for No 9 (Jake Massey) to follow up and nudge home. The ink was racing across the paper as I struggled to keep up, as I looked up I saw the Town put together a humdinging move that ended with Ellis having another dig and Massey popping up to finish and grab the third goal of the night. Talk about a quick start, in fact the last time I saw a start this quick was when Alberto Juantorena had that amphetamine soaked cigar shoved up his arse just before the infamous 800 metres final at the Clacton Sports Centre - I have never been the same since.
The game continued apace, The Road had some good possession, the movement was applaudable the ball whipped was delivered with good impetus with No 2 (Thomas Markham) gathering and cracking straight at the keeper. A terse period of to and fro next and then Town had a free-kick that the home keeper parried but did well to hold when a return shot with venom, came his way. The hosts continued to bustle about, they pushed on, The Town absorbed and broke. No 11 (Aiden Hopkins) exhibited explosive pace, the link up with Massey was exceptional, the ball came back to the feet of the galloping player, he allowed it to bounce once and 'wham' - the bottom corner of the net was found and the visiting team were now two goals ahead. Once again I scribbled with earnest attention, saw a corner for Denton fly into the box and Massey rise and head home - stop press folks, make that 1 - 4.
It was all getting too much for some folk, several members of the fairer sex passed out with the excitement and one aroused fellow dashed to the local lavatories no doubt keen to relieve the swelling of his rather noticeable 'Football Dongler'. I stayed composed, wiped the beads of perspiration from my brow, popped a couple of Valium and then Ellis of the Road displayed quick feet, scooted through two markers, send forth a bender that the gloved guardian did mighty well to save. The ball was loose, a return lob came and fell shy of the upright - unlucky for sure.
The game now settled, Ellis found himself in two good positions soon after and allowed to shoot both times. Alas each effort was scuffed and just lacked that miniscule touch of composure to make all the difference. Once more the MRR team came, Ellis was in for the third time, his toe poke was solid enough, this time direction was lacking. As the half looked done and dusted the resident rampagers set about one last onslaught. The rush into the box was too quick for the defensive ranks and a foul was committed, the referee was in no doubt, penalty it was. Up stepped No 9 (Joseph Simms) to breathe life back into his teams beaten and buggered carcass. 3 steps, a stroke home, the side-netting billowed outward - well taken that man, bring on the second half.
A brew and a chat with a few familiar faces. As we returned to the touchline we past the aforementioned karsis, the sounds coming from there were almost Satanic, the man with the enlargement certainly had some staying power.
With 6 goals already conceded one expected both teams to shore up, stop the gaps and play with more caution - not so. Almost as soon as the ball got rolling Maine Road put together an accomplished 3 pass move that No 11 (Joel Green) finalise with a side foot wide of the mark - it really should have been buried. Town looked to punish this early miss with a ball out wide, a deep cross and a header, unfortunately for Ellis the executioner, the ball wouldn't stay down. Soon after the visiting group advanced once more, the ball went this way and that, a shot was belted and the keeper dropped to make the save. The slippery sphere escaped the clutches of the glove, Hopkins tapped home with ease - 2 - 5 folks, where's me ruddy abacus?
A bit of touchline shenanigans hindered play, the referee offered 'big words' and sage advice - all soon became calm again. A long ball followed from the host keeper, it went up and came down, one bounce was allowed and Ellis leathered and only just missed the strike zone. From here Denton began to assert themselves and apply some pressure, Road re-read the soccer survival manual and got through a rather sticky patch, their No 5 (Jiri Imrich) was putting in a solid stint and is surely one to move up to the next level. This grafting bloke put one header on the ball that led to a quick pass with Ellis on the end and finding the bottom corner - simplicity in itself from front to back - beautiful. 3 - 5. At this point my notes crumpled into incoherence, I got jumbled trying to keep up and made a dog's dinner of things - bastard. 3 more goals came, 1 for the Road, 2 for the Town, Some last ditch tackling, great mania and non-stop action and the guests eventually ran out winners as The Road were reduced to 10 men late in the half. What a ruddy rum do this had been. Man of the Match goes to Denton Town's No 4 (Callum Rattigan) for being Mr Consistent and playing with a determination to make sure the 3 points went the right way. It was a fair session of work in a game of much madness - it made all the difference.
During the course of this game I may have gone awry in my scribblings, I care not, I tried but got wrapped up in the going's on - it was that kind of game.
FINAL THOUGHT - I will be brief here - 2 teams went at it with wild abandon tonight, it was a real task to report on and come the end my textual twaddle turned to indecipherable shit before my eyes. When I eventually tried to make sense of what went on I struggled - it had been a great spectacle for the neutral, a night of frustrating madness for the managerial staff - one thing is guaranteed - if both teams continue to play like this they will win some, lose some and there will be goals - yes goals, lots of the buggers - in fact so many, we will hardly be able to keep up - phew - I am ordering a new set of pens as I type, big green ones with nobs on - nah, nah, nah!
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