2nd November 2019 - West Didsbury & Chorlton 0 v 0 Cheadle Heath Nomads - The bog man cometh, the bog man leaveth, we have a new throne, I can now crapulate with the best of them. Due to this bowel-assisting fitting the morn was spent keeping tabs and catching up on much computer-based work. My good lady took her mum shopping, picked up our daughter who was nipping back from London for the day and then dropped me off at football - albeit a trifle late due to the aforementioned bloke with the basin. It was a ruddy cold day, I attempted a bit of gardening in between the techno-twiddling, my nipples were like wine-corks, the fingers pinkened and my breath icy - I got done what needed doing though! Today's game was a tough one for the visitor's with the hosts very much one of the favourites for automatic promotion. After a dogged win in midweek though the Nomad's were not to be underestimated and, if getting off to a flier they could come away with yet another surprise victory. I turned up with a brolly today, my long flowing locks don't like the rain, and yes, I do live in a fantasy land. STP and Nev Pearson (Cheadle Heath Nomad's Secretary) were found to be nattering, I overheard only a couple of words 'Love', 'Inner Tubes' and 'Travel Lodge' - well, well, well - you just don't know with some people. After a brew and a chat with some other fine folk myself and Stu made our way to between the dug-outs, the rain was not giving up, the pitch may be a great leveller.
The game began with the usual Non-League spirit there for all to see. The Nomads had the first break, No 9 (Richard Tindall) swung his shank without a moments thought, the outcome was outrageously bad but when the same player raced in soon after, from a cross via No 10 (Ashley Stott), his low down header was ideal but the home No 1 (Andrew Jones) showed quick reactions and saved at point blank range. On the guests came, Tindall put the ball into the box, the defense held firm, No 8 (Kieran Herbert) had a decent dig, the header away was concrete. At long last the WDC pack advanced, won a corner which was well posted into the penalty area. The keeper came and reached to push clear, the return shot from No 4 (Callum Jones) was what the professors of football term as 'shite' - they are an erudite bunch albeit a trifle coarse at times.
As the Nomads bustled forth once more The West broke. The end point of the move saw a shot from range test the keepers agility. The visiting No 1 (Aaron Tyrer) sprang, stretched and saved without dropping the ball - comfortable sir, comfortable. The game was wide open, both Tindall and his opposite No 9 (James Cottee) had chances, both opportunities came and went in a real tight-arsed contest. The hosts slowly wormed their way into a position of territorial advantage, the guests held firm and still managed to have the odd pop at goal with No 8 (Kristian Holt) denied by a regulation save. From some responsive West pressure the ball was retrieved via the visiting No 2 (Jack Warren) who punted forth for Stott to chase. The bounce was awkward, No 5 (Jamie Forbes) for the hosts mistimed his tackle, lunged, got 20% of the ball but 80% of the man, the red card was instantaneous. The resultant free-kick slammed into the wall, the whole dynamics had changed, the game was now for the taking if The Nomads wanted it.
The dying embers of the first half nearly saw the initial breakthrough with the Nomadic No 7 (George Blackwell) feeding No 11 (Daniel Browne) who took one touch and twatted. The keeper was beat, the upright had the final touch though and the ball rebounded to safety. During the last few minutes both teams almost broke from the midfield deadlock but it was not to be - a stalemate, what would the second half bring?
The half-time brew went down a treat along with some cake I had purchased watching Maine Road earlier in the week. 4 Ring Neck Parakeets flew over and the weather was rather clement. I was still in a T-shirt, my Arthur Mullard thermals were still in the drawer at home and my electric testicle cups may not come out until December - Nut-Tastic!
The second period was soon upon us, everything was still to play for, despite being a man down the WDC pack pressed first forcing the back-pedalling Blackwell to make a mistake but duly recover with a quite outstanding tackle. Talking of 'outstanding tackle', I must remember to get my copy of 'Big Dick Muldoon's Love Manual' back from the neighbour!
The first quiet spell of the game followed, it was soon broken by a Nomads sub and a sweeping move. A low ball was hammered into the West's box, the defensive work was exceptional and the danger was halted. A repeat move came soon after, the end shot was a disaster - the visiting bench were getting a trifle frustrated. Herbert had the next punt at the home goal, the save was tidy and from the corner the rear remained watertight. Blackwell came forth, the cross was decent, again the blokes at the back earned their crust and when a corner caused chaos the ball remained elusive for those looking to fire home and a goalless draw was looking increasingly likely.
As we galloped into the latter stages the local Jackdaws took to the air and chacked out aerial encouragement whilst defecating on the local posers cars and pleasing me no end. Nomadic waves came, they crashed against a stubborn black and white shoreline, the spume of disgruntlement was rising around the tootsies of the attacking pirates. The last 10 saw a touch and go scenario with The West almost snatching a winner but No 6 (Matthew Eckersley) shot wide and No 4 (Callum Jones) launched a beauty that looked to be dropping just below the bar but somehow remained elevated and flew a few inches too high. At the very death the hosts won a corner, Eckersley snuck in and put cranium on sphere. The power applied was decent, the direction however saw the vertical missed by mere inches - a few moments later and that was that. From amid much hard work the Man of the Match today goes to West Didsbury and Chorlton's No 6 (Matthew Eckersley), a player who stuck to his guns, worked hard all over the pitch and played with a composure that helped his depleted squad hang on and gain a share of the spoils. As Stu and I headed homeward a creeping miasma starting to infiltrate the now empty playing area, I expected to see Count Dracula emerge from the mists, all I saw was a John Inman look-a-like waving a pink furry wand - I think it may have been colder than I thought - brain freeze can cause all sorts of hallucinations I hear.
FINAL THOUGHT - This was a classic example of one of those good to honest, earthy draws that showcases two teams battling like buggery and having no real sniff of success. That '10 men against 11 scenario' is always a tough conundrum to solve and here we witnessed why this is the case. West Didsbury and Chorlton were my tip for the top before the season began, I expected them to do the business today but even when they had 11 players on the pitch they were matched in every department by a side on an above average roll. The loss of a player though did the home team no favours and maybe, with a full pack, they could have won this one, but hey, what the Hell is a 'maybe' anyway. Cheadle Heath Nomads have turned a real corner and are now showing their battling prowess, organisational skills and dogged determination. The next step is to become more clinical in front of goal and make sure that final ball in is deadly and that any loose balls are pounced upon and buried. They are nearly a complete unit, after a rough start to the season they are making strides, if they continue with this kind of attitude there could be a real surprise in store for many opposing team - as per, the team will be getting my best wishes and due attention.
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