THIRD ROUND THOUGHTS

23rd November 2019 - Wythenshawe Town 4 v 1 Cheadle Heath Nomads - The weekend is here, it started last night for us when myself and the missus dimmed the lights and watched a 2 hour documentary on witchcraft - it were reet good, the nudity a bonus but I remain unsure about dangling one's John Thomas over cleansing flames as well as kissing the anus of some bloke dressed as the devil.  The morn of the match was spent casting a few spells using nothing more than 6 dried foreskins, the umbilical cord severed from a recently born Impala and the hard-baked nipples of a Portugese Nob-Rot.  Ingredients used were powdered arse hair, the dandruff of a Yeti and the skin-flakes of a 500 year old leper.  According to the books, if the brew is mixed just right the match one attends will produce 4 goals and one of the official will bear a child.  If I get it wrong then my willy will turn into an asp, I will lose the ability to cook toast and the referee will spontaneously combust on the 83rd minute - of course, I took the blending process very seriously. 

After a mix and match morn we popped into a local Christmas Fair held at an environmental centre, we have no real interest in the festive madness but just wanted to offer some support - they are a lovely bunch. I was dropped off at the match soon after where I met STP Stu and had a chat with many fine faces.  My good lady went spending brass, I hope she gets something nice, she be a reet good un'.

As 3pm came, predictions were in, and we were all set to witness a 4 goal thriller, if not, my cauldron will be smashed and I will bend my magic wand (ooh yes).

The opening throes saw a long Nomad ball come, No 9 (Richard Tindall) used good strength to chase, a firm hand in the defender's back and quick legs to connect and bury - there were only 2 minutes on the clock.  It all became too much for the father of the Nomads No 7 (Adam Stuart) who claimed to have sat in a damp patch but I reckon he had pissed himself with over-excitement - it can happen, especially on a winter's day!  This opening goal was just what was needed for the tie, Wythenshawe soon reacted, a corner came, a penalty claim waved away by a referee who kept his cards close to his chest all afternoon long.

From a touch and go period No 11 (Max Lewens) for the hosts sent in a rasping cross that the opposing mitter did well to hold low down.  A bit of pepper was sprinkled on this 3rd round cup dish with several robust tackles being committed.  The Town came on again, a corner entered the box but was cleared with all players leaving the danger zone en masse.  The home No 8 (Dominic Smalley) stood his ground, received a fine pass and took one look before slamming home the equaliser - tidy.

The game continued as a solid battling escapade, the Nomadic No 3 (Craig Coates) put in a solid cross next that No 2 (Jack Warren) nutted into the side netting.  Soon after Coates had a dig of his own, the outcome was a tame tickle that refused to concern the keeper's awaiting conkers.  The Nomads advanced again, No 6 (Ryan Eiselt) posted a quite sumptuous cross, Warren dashed in and poked toward goal, I was not alone in wondering how it missed the target!  In response to this minor scare The Town advanced and earned a corner.  The ball from the angle was drilled low, Smalley connected albeit in a rather unconvincing manner.  The ball went up, came back down, unfortunately for the guests, it was on the inside of the net - 2 -1 it was!

The closing stages were now played out, gumption levels were high, tenacious urgency was exposed from the trailing pack.  No 10 (Kieran Herbert) knocked forward a solid ball for Tindall to chase.   The ever-willing front man collared the globe and leathered only for the heels of the home No 3 (Jerome Wright) to be in the way.   The loose ball was thumped towards goal on the half-volley by No 8 (Phillip Yuille) - the save that came was regulation. Soon after we were at the half-way stage - this was a game still very much undecided.

For half-time I nattered to ex-Nomads player (Stephen Kirby), a decent lad now hoofing the globe at Knutsford - we must get up that way again soon.  After the chat I then checked some chicken entrails I had in my pocket to see if the 4 goal prediction was still on.  According to the alignment of the duodenum and left kidney things were looking good, the only cause for concern was the south-facing lungs and wavy appearance of the gullet - we shall see what transpires.  

The Nomads started the second half with a corner that was met by a mistimed header.  A follow-up onslaught was negated by an offside flag and then the same team had to defend as the hosts swarmed the box like blowflies around a rather unclean rectum.  The Nomads had to earn their crust, somehow the danger was scrambled clear with Tindall eventually released and using good power to find time to shoot.  It was a shame that the apical effort was what the vulgar would term as 'wank'.

The next goal was of the utmost priority, if The Town snatched it I felt as though it would be game over.  Next and Warren for the Nomads played a choice ball that was followed by a quality cross - it was a shame to see the header fly way off line.  This led to a claggy period which was eventually broken by a Town ball that released the reliable Lewens.  A flashing cross was executed, No 7 (Niall Sultan) was quick to react and slap home - was that the final nail in the coffin - it certainly seemed like it?

Another gritty and somewhat patchy session came, a free-kick by Tindall of the Nomads was a mere pea-roller and into the last 20 minutes we went.  Both teams were busy, the Cheadle pack were just lacking that creative force up front, Wythenshawe seemed happy to roll any punches and try and thump back.  The resident No 4 (Dean Warburton) hit one straight at the keeper and then was at the pinnacle of a quite focused move but could only lash over.  Things were getting tight, within an edge of box melee Herbert for the Nomads found time to shoot, the upright was quivered with the follow-up shot clouted wide.  With time running out a free-kick was given to Wythenshawe Town high up the pitch.  The team chose to pass and poke, whilst the Nomads pissed about and failed to clear the danger.  Suddenly a leg was stuck out, Stuart's name went in the book and the penalty spot was pointed to.  Up stepped No 9 (Matthew Wilson) and scored with little fuss, 4 - 1 - the score-line looked a trifle cruel on paper but there ya go and seconds later it was confirmed as the whistle fractured the night air.  Man of the Match goes to Wythenshawe Town's No 3 (Jerome Wright), a player who may have holes in his socks but who has no holes in his defensive game with a keen eye watching the play, keeping all things tidy at the back whilst always looking to create and release at the same time.  A good player this, once again the 90 minutes work was applaudable.

FINAL THOUGHT - Another cup game done, one that was closer than the end result suggested but one definitely won by the right team.  The away team had been on a decent unbeaten run, these things always come to an end and perhaps it is better here rather than in the league.  The line-up is being jiggled, there are places up for grabs, the main question is when will the finished squad be settled on and play as one consistent pack.  The team are decent enough now, the only problem seems to be the lack of width and the speed of support when flowing forward - there are options to call on, this is my 9th viewing of the team so far this season, there will be more.  Wythenshawe Town are a strong unit with many fine assets and even when not playing the most spectacular football they somehow get the job done.  The only real problem they face now is having their hands in many pies with a danger of a fixture overload liable, especially if the weather plays silly buggers.  It ain't no bad position to be in, I suspect promotion is the key requirement, I think that will be a very tall order this time around as this is a very competitive league with several of the top dogs looking very surefooted indeed.  I could hazard a guess as to where they will end up but the entrails I used today are already stinking - I shall get the PG Tips out and see what the leaves say - watch this space.